New Foundations
by FaithSky
Summary: Naomilly based...starts off after season4 ep2 what would happen in Emily didnt go back to see Naomi? Written from Naomi's PoV
1. Chapter 1

**I started this after episode 2 of the new season, it's basically what i thought would happen if Emily hadn't gone back into the house with Naomi... From Naomi's PoV. More chapters to come if met with good reviews...not all doom and gloom i promise...just bare with me!**

Emily Fitch...ridiculously clever, ridiculously beautiful and ridiculously in love. With me; Naomi. And even though somehow I knew I loved her too, the feeling at the front of my stupid brain was immense fear. Not about what people would think, I certainly didnt care about that. I was scared because for the first time in my life I had absolutely no idea who I was. I'd always been so sure and in a matter of weeks I was more than utterly confused. Id never felt like this about anyone, never mind a girl... I wasnt gay, was I?

Not that any of that matters now, I did an idiotic thing... I cheated on her with another girl. I have no idea why I did it, a realease I guess. I regreted it the moment it happened but I didnt tell Emily. I just wanted to protect her from my own mistake, I couldnt bare the look on her face. But truth will out, right? And regardless of how much I tried to prevent it, she found out and I practically felt the moment her heart broke inside her chest. I felt it because my heart broke too. It hurt. I'd messed it all up and now she wont even look at me. I dont think I blame her it was my fault. My own fucking fault. The summer of love we'd shared seemed so far behind me, so far away but the memories still burn my eyes with tears of rememberance.

I spent the final three months of college trying desperately to get her to look at me. The one small glance that let me know that on some level she still cared. Nothing. Not even a parting glance as college ended, for good this time. And my summer alone began. Memories that were all too clear flooded to the forefront of my mind.

'I'm going away for the summer, Spain, Cyprus perhaps, by myself, to do some thinking, you know, by...myself. lets just be friends ok?'

Last summer...part of me wanted to spend it alone, thinking about all the emotions that Emily had awoken in me, things I didnt know I could feel. But every fibre of my body had just wanted to hold her so very tightly and never let her go.

This summer, I would have given anything for her beautiful brown eyes to meet mine just one more time. For the corner of her mouth to turn up into that perfect smirk that would always send tingles down my spine. But more importantly I would have given EVERYTHING to have her in my arms again. I spent half of the summer going over and over things in my own head, staring at that fixed point on the wall in front of me. And I spent the other half of summer slowly destroying myself with drugs and a large amount of vodka. Hoping that somehow the pain I was feeling would just dissappear. It didnt. So three days ago I downed almost an entire bottle of Jack and knocked on her door.

I couldnt breath, all the pain I'd felt and the tears I'd cried over the entire summer smacked me hard in the pit of the stomach. Every ounce of strength I thought I had drained away and I just wanted to turn and run away or collapse in a quivering heap on the cold, concrete floor. But my heart wouldnt let me, for the first time in my life I was going to stay and face my fear. I was going to tell Emily the truth. Even if it killed me. It seemed like I had been stood there forever as I managed to calm my breathing to something near normal. That was until a red haired silhouette moved behind the glass and the door handle began to turn.

I felt faint, slightly sick and completely out of my depth. My vision clouded with a rush of emotion and one single non-relenting tear crept down towards my chin. I blinked. Slowly and precisely, wiping the tear from my cheek I looked up just in time. To see Katie Fitch stood scowling down on me. She on high sees all right? Well she on high can go fuck herself.

"You're not welcome here!" She practically smirked at me.

"I just...I just want to see her. Please?" My emotions got the better of me and my face flooded with the tears I promised myself I wouldnt cry. The tears I had tried so hard to escape. Tears that were meant for Emily and Emily alone.

"She's gone." Katie seemed almost pleased with herself delivering the knockout blow to any hope I had of getting my Emily back.

"What do you mean she's gone? Where? When?" The questions flowed out of me like rain from a blackened sky until I realised who I was talking to. Katie Firch hated me, hated the idea that I was in someway partly responsible for her sister, her twin sister who had been in Katie's shadow all her life, being gay. If there was anyone on this earth less likely to help me I would eat my hat. Figuratively speaking of course.

"You broke her heart, you really think im going to tell you anything?" Venom practically leaked out of her as she shot me down in flames.

"Look, I know you hate me, I know you wish I didnt exist but frankly I dont give a shit. I am completely in love with your sister and no one, especially not you is going to keep me from telling her the truth about how I feel." One deep breath later I was almost running away from the Fitch household. Every nerve in my body was strained as I tried to keep myself from turning around and beating the information out of the far too familiar face. But I didn't turn around. I couldn't. It had been nearly four months but everything was still too raw, too painful. I sighed at myself at the thought of not even being able to look into her twins face without blubbing like a fool. I felt like I didnt have the right to cry. After all it was my own doing. But these tears seemed different somehow, they wern't the tears of losing Emily. They were tears because I'd lost all hope of getting her back.

Ever since then I've just been sat in my room with the curtains closed. I dont want to see the world pass by. It's empty without her.

**Please comment and be honest!! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, here we go... **

I woke to the sound of my alarm clock aimlessly bleeping seven o'clock. Sunday morning. New life and university begin tomorrow, yea right! To say I was bricking it was the understatement of the century. My face was still red and puffy as I sorted out the rest of my clothes and hopped into the shower. I had made up my mind that today was going to be the start of something new and as the warm water washed over my skin I felt numb. My brain went back to the hour long shower I had taken after the first time Emily and I had properly been together. By the lake, our lake... I remembered scrubbing at my skin to try and get her touch off of me. I hadn't been able to and I kept replaying the moment of utter lust and joy that I had felt as I finally plucked up the courage to kiss her. The shower hadn't worked then and it wasn't working now.

"Damn it!!" I had to shout at myself to stop my mind sinking any further into memories of Emily. Not today...today was a new start.

University was only a half hour drive away but I was still moving out. My room contained too many of the memories that I was trying to escape. I'd been pretty much packed for a week or two but I still had a few things left to do before I left. I'm not sure whether I was trying to destroy myself mentally but I couldn't stop myself picking up a photo of Emily and me. Guess I wasn't ready to let her go just yet; Even if she had already gone.

"All packed?" I pretty much leapt out of my skin as my mum rounded my door with tea and toast. I loved the smell of toast in the morning, when Emily used to stay over we always had toast...my brain screamed at me for once again remembering her.

"Jesus! You trying to kill me?" We laughed as I discretely slid the photograph into one of my many suitcases. Unfortunately I couldn't hide it.

"So, did you get to see her before you go?" Mum smiled, you could say she wasn't a conventional parent, I told her everything.

"No, she's gone." I swallowed hard and found myself staring at my feet trying to stop yet more tears from forming. I didn't think I had any more tears left to cry. She must have noticed how torn apart I was because she quickly and expertly changed the topic. I loved my mum.

"Are you taking enough underwear? You can never have enough under..."

"Mum!" I quickly interrupted. She looked up at me, this time the tears were gleaming in her eyes as she sat down next to me on the bed.

"Don't...I've been crying pretty much solidly for weeks. Today is a good day!" However much I didn't mean it she smiled at me and left me to my packing. It didn't take long to finish so I guzzled down the almost warm tea and stumbled down the stairs with all my crap that I didn't want to leave behind. Out of all the stuff I had only a third of it was even remotely going to be helpful. Better to be prepared for any situation though I guess!

After what seemed like an hour of struggling to get all my stuff in the back of my mum's far too small car. Ok so maybe it was the vast amount of my random bits and pieces that made it look tiny but I'm still going to blame the car. We finally set off so I could attempt to find my new life.

The giant and far too plucky sign for Arch-House University appeared in sight and the few pieces that were left of my heart jumped a little with what I could only imagine was a twinge of excitement. This wasn't my first choice of Uni but with all the shit I brought upon myself. Well you would forgive me for being slightly distracted during my exams. Still politics is politics no matter where you study it...right? Guess I just had to make do.

The twinge of excitement had turned swiftly into a giant pang of nerves as we pulled into an empty car parking space. I gracefully stumbled out of the car and just in case my red eyes weren't enough I had to embarrass myself further by falling arse over tit. _Way to make a first impression you giant twat_ my inner monologue was starting to piss me off. Thankfully it was silenced as I was hastily and purposefully helped back onto my feet by a giggling brunette.

"You ok? Try taking more water with it next time huh!" Her deep brown eyes smiled into mine as she handed me my satchel. I could feel blood rush to my cheeks and I could tell that my feeble attempt to hide embarrassment had failed miserably.

"Thanks," I laughed, finding anywhere to look that wasn't her. I settled on my shoes in an effort to hide my flushed face.

"Don't sweat it, I only look so confident because of Early Admin, they let you get all the stupid and awkward stuff out the way before the majority of people arrive." For some reason that even my new found personal voice couldn't explain, Emily flashed through my mind and a sharp spasm of pain all but smashed me in the face. Here I was laughing with a beautiful girl I didn't even know.

"You sure you're ok?" The familiar question brought my focus back with a bump.

"Um, yea, just worried that my room-mate won't be as friendly as you." I smiled as politely as I could and continued to help my mum unload the rest of my bags from the car.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. My name's Melissa by the way, I've got to go, I'm running a group in five...see you around Blondie." She shouted the last part as she ran up the vast amount of stairs into the lecture hall. _Blondie? Not sure whether I liked it or not, not even sure I was going to get a chance to find out. _

Eventually all my stuff was somehow attached to my person. To anyone looking I was a giant version of the game buckaroo. Great, first day and I'm already comparing myself to a donkey. My mum gave me a rib-breaking hug goodbye and dropped a swift kiss onto my forehead. I watched with the lump gradually building in the back of my throat as she drove away, and I was left alone.

I looked up at the looming steps of the University and wondered why I had lumbered myself with so much stuff. I took a deep breath and started to climb the annoyingly steepening stairs. Eventually I made my way clumsily into the main reception room, there were so many people walking around inside that I have absolutely no idea how I kept my balance or made my way to the desk. _Probably more luck that expert judgement. _I was greeted by the welcoming face of what I assumed was the hall master, he looked a little too much like a frog for my liking but he seemed nice enough.

"You staying in university accommodation?" He blinked up at me through glasses that were far too big for his face and I found myself fighting the thought of replying with a sarcastic _'No I'm just carrying these bags for the good of my health!' _I decided it was probably more productive to go with a simple:

"Um, yea...Naomi Campbell." His beady eyes shot back down to the mountain of paper in front of him and he shuffled quickly through the pages.

"Room 213, head just down the hall to the right and follow the signs." He handed me a room key and a small but far too colourful map of the grounds before I was almost rugby tackled out of the way and joined the flow of people heading down the right hand corridor. My eyes shot around me in all directions trying innately to take in as many of my new surroundings as possible. _201, 203, 205...thank fucking Christ, nearly there. _With the one hand I had somehow managed to keep free I put my key in the lock of room two hundred and thirteen, turned the handle and bundled my way inside.

My shoulders had pretty much gone completely numb with the weight of all my rubbish so the relief I felt as I finally dumped it all in my new room was outrageous. As the door closed behind me the room was filled with a silence that was only interrupted by the beating of my heart in my ears. It looked like my room-mate had already moved in and left for some drug infested rave. _God that sounded good right now. _It had been a while since I'd had a release. The room was pretty much divided in half a communal living and cooking area which then branched off into three separate rooms, the two bedrooms and the bathroom. I peered round the first of the doors and noticed that the 'bagsy' rule must still apply as whoever I was going to be living with had obviously taken a liking to this room and thrown all her stuff everywhere already.

I took the hint and moved my stuff into the bedroom farthest in the corner, this time one or two bags at a time to avoid making the forthcoming shoulder pain any worse. After six trips backward and forward I was pretty much done. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to start unpacking now and then go and get stupidly drunk or the other way around. Thankfully however my decision was made for me as I heard the door to the living area start to open as what I could only assume was my new room-mate made her way inside.

"Hey, nice to meet you..." I started as I jumped out of my bedroom door only to be met with a familiar face. "Melissa?" what are the chances of that I laughed to myself.

"Hey Blondie, how's it going, well... looks like your room-mate isn't going to be that friendly after all." She laughed and pulled me into a hug. My arms crossed over her back and I knew that this was going to be alright, first test passed. I think I liked her.

"You should probably tell me your name then." My brain stopped wandering as I removed myself from my new acquaintance and smiled.

"Yea, it's Naomi, but I think I like Blondie." Again my ridiculously too imaginative brain rushed backwards to Emily's room and the poster she kept at the foot of her bed. _Blondie, Shit, was everything going to remind me of her? _Melissa laughed, a rich laugh that snapped me back to attention.

"Naomi, hmm cute!" She turned away and started unloading three shopping bags into our fridge, twenty four bottles of lager and two bottles of vodka. I loved her already! _Wait, did she just call me cute?_

We spent the next three hours sat on the sofa with a few beers talking about who we were, our likes, dislikes, hobbies, basically everything. In the space of three small hours I knew most of her history, her immediate family tree and the fact that baked beans gave her indigestion. I laughed so much I was basically crying again, but this time for good reasons. The happy buzz of four bottles of lager washed over me and what I could only imagine was a stupid smile flashed across my face as Melissa lit a cigarette. I recognised the smell immediately.

"Good taste in lager and weed? You need to stop being such a perfect room-mate, it's disconcerting." I smiled and excused myself as my bladder felt like it was about to burst. Standing in the bathroom all I could do was stare at myself in the mirror.

"Hey, there's a party going on down the hall... you up for it?" Melissa was shouting at me from what sounded like her bedroom.

"Sure, let me get changed and throw some make up on! Then we'll head out!" My self- indulged trance was completely ruined...so much for having time to find myself. I pulled on my skinny fit red jeans and a white t-shirt that adequately proclaimed 'rebel' in bright yellow, put some dark eyeliner on and I was all set.

"Wow, you clean up nice!" Mel was already waiting, hair perfectly messed up and ripped jeans in place; a black shirt completed her outfit. _Jesus, why did I feel so guilty!! _This was supposed to be a new start. I guess my heart didn't know my head had issued such a proclamation. I realised that I probably had a 'what the fuck' look on my face so I regained my composure and smiled briefly.

"Thanks...let's go get smashed!"

**More chapters to come, they are in the old noggin... and dont worry it'll be getting good soon! :) once again please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

My brain thumped me awake. God I was hung-over, the small trickle of light that made its way through the gap in my curtains was enough to make it feel like my head had exploded. I was never drinking again. Ok, maybe never was a bit too ambitious, I wasn't drinking again for at least five hours. My subconscious mention of a time frame somehow managed to pick up my own reality and throw it in my face as I realised that I was going to be late for orientation. I lurched out of bed and pulled on the nearest pair of jeans. I grabbed a hoodie out of the full to bursting wardrobe, threw on some shoes and managed somehow to locate my satchel before bolting out of the door. I had five minutes to get to orientation and avoid the embarrassment of walking in late and alone with messy bed hair still in full view. Not good.

As I ran through the halls my brain tried to piece together any recollections I had of the past three drunken days. The party on Sunday with Melissa was still hazy at best but I'm pretty sure I had fun, since then it had been beer, beer and more beer. We'd spent three whole days trying to drink ourselves sober at various parties and even once or twice just sat alone together in our room. Laughing and joking about nothing in particular, it seems odd to say but I think it was just the turn off my brain needed. Either that or the alcohol had destroyed far too many of my brain cells I just couldn't remember further back than a couple of weeks. I wasn't entirely sure which was the most believable explanation, but all that mattered was I think I was returning to something near normality. Whatever normal was for me, I wasn't quite sure just yet.

I frantically tried to find the 'South West' lecture hall and thankfully as I turned the corner I managed to join onto the end of the queue of people making their way in. _Few, not too late but I think I need to invest in a louder alarm. _I smiled contently to myself at the knowledge that if worst came to worst I could make a lecture in just under seven minutes. Good to know. I took a seat next to a similarly scruffy looking adolescent. His sleepy eyes looked up at me and an attempt at a smile crossed his face.

"You look almost as bad as I feel." I said quietly as I took my notebook out of my bag and rustled around for a pen.

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you." He replied sarcastically. I stifled a laugh as Prof Carter waddled his way to the desk at the front of the room. He seemed to gaze around at the suspecting faces in front of him before he spoke.

"Speak amongst yourselves for a moment; I need to get the computer set up." He nodded at us briefly before turning away and busying himself with the projector screen.

"I'm Jake" he looked up at me and offered his hand in a greeting.

"Hi, I'm Naomi, looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other." I took his hand and shook it as firmly as I dared.

"Yea, just promise if we need to pair up at any time you won't leave me hangin!" He laughed. I reciprocated with a smile and turned my eyes back to the fumbling Professor. Not much more needed to be said which was probably a good thing because the apprehensive silence suggested Prof was just about ready to begin.

I'm pretty sure that my mind only wandered a total of five times in the next few hours as I quickly got bored of making notes. He was blabbing on about how much work we were expected to do every week so my eyes wandered around the room looking at the glazed expression on everyone's faces. My face probably looked exactly the same. It must be really demoralising to be a teacher, having all these gormless faces staring at nothing in particular instead of actually listening. I wasn't entirely sure how much time had passed when Prof Carter finally stopped talking. All I could concentrate on was the fact that my head was hammering so loudly I was pretty sure everyone else in the room could hear it too.

"So feel free to have a look at last year's exams on my desk and make sure to take your itinerary and recommended reading list before you leave." Those were his parting words as he picked up his important looking leather briefcase and left as precisely as he had arrived.

"Thank fuck for that." Jake's voice made me jump as I put my now doodle filled note pad back into my bag.

"Yea, he droned on didn't he?" My voice crackled with dehydration as we made our way to the desk for our respective lists.

"You're really going to make me ask aint ya?!" Jake questioned. The look I must have had on my face was obviously enough to let him know that I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Naomi..." he looked up at my confused face, "give us your number?" God it had been a long time since anyone had asked me that. I smiled at him and wrote my mobile number on the top of his reading list. I don't think I fancied him in any way, but it didn't hurt to make new friends. Especially ones who were, admittedly quite sweet.

By the time I had said goodbye to Jake I was knackered, every muscle in my body was begging me to go back to sleep. Maybe I should squeeze in a few more hours shut eye before I am dragged to another party later on this evening. My grumbling stomach interrupted me from my attempt at reasoning with myself and I realised that I was starving. I think there was a sandwich left from the previous evening so I set off back to the room. Maybe I could persuade myself to go to sleep after my tummy had been adequately fed. I liked that plan.

It took no more than fifteen minutes to get back to my room at a more leisurely pace and as I pushed open the door I heard constant swearing emanate from the kitchen.

"Shit, bollocks, fuck...owch!" I rounded the door just in time to see Melissa profusely swearing at a presumably hot sauce pan.

"You know those things can get quite warm." I couldn't help laughing as she threw the now empty saucepan at the sink.

"That the thanks I get for cooking you some lunch?" She scowled at me whilst handing over a steaming bowl of what I hoped was soup. The smell met my nostrils and I had to try everything to prevent myself from dribbling. I gave her my best 'thanks a bunch' smile as I grabbed myself a spoon and gulped down the quickly cooling tomato soup. It was nearly orgasmic, the first hot food I'd had since arriving.

"Well, I'll leave the washing up to you... I'm going to group in a few hours and need to shower off the smell of two days without sleep." Mel handed me her empty bowl and turned towards her bedroom.

"What group?" The question had escaped from my mouth before I realised how nosey it was of me to ask but I decided to continue with it, it was too late to back out now! "The same one you were running off to when we first met?" I completed as she turned around.

"Yea, it's the universities LGBT group, you know meet and greet. See if anyone grabs your attention." Her face went red as she said it, but it took me far too long to grasp what she was so worried about me realising.

"Oh my god, you're gay!?" my assertion, I realised, sounded far too accusing but I didn't have time to apologise.

"Yea, that a problem?" _Shit, she seemed angry...good one you muppet._ She stood, arms by her sides looking up at me with a frown fixed firmly in my direction.

"Hell no, it's actually quite a relief." I walked purposefully over and threw my arms around her, squeezing her slightly. What followed next was a shock even to me.

"I think...I think I might be; you know..."

"Gay?" Mel finished my sentence for me and I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. I nodded almost ashamedly in response. She took hold of my hand and led me over to the sofa, I must have been visibly shaking as she proceeded to make me some very strong coffee.

"That the first time you've ever tried to admit it?" she asked slowly trying not to seem too abrupt.

"Yea." I couldn't find any more words as shock filled every empty space in my brain. A great wave of faintness whirled around me but as I took several steady sips of coffee I managed to avoid passing out or throwing my guts up. We had been sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"You wanna talk about it?" She seemed far too calm, far too composed. It was comforting. Her hand reached over and ended up on top of mine and I found myself looking up into her eyes.

I spent the next hour and a bit wading through my memories and feelings from the time me and Emily had spent together. Understandably I omitted names and particular details that I wanted to keep to myself. I didn't want anyone to have all of those memories except Emily and me. Mel looked like she understood and followed my every word, the odd nod of the head or smile just to let me know that she was listening deeply. I hadn't talked about it with anyone and here I was opening up to someone I hadn't even known a week. _What was I doing?_ Then it hit me, I think I was starting to get over her.

"You want to come with me tonight? It might help you come to terms with things or at least help you make up your mind... just a load of friendly people talking about coming out." Even though I'm sure she knew my answer would be no, I'm still thankful she asked.

"No, maybe next week. I think I need just a bit of time alone right now. Thanks anyway though and I'll definitely think about it." With that I stood up and excused myself to my bedroom.

As soon as I was left alone I didn't really want to think anymore so I decided that now would be as good a time as any to start unpacking. I emptied the last of my bags onto the bed and the photo I had momentarily forgotten, fell to the floor. Taking one deep breath I wrapped my fingers around the chrome frame and sat down on the bed with the photograph face down. I shut my eyes tightly and turned it over. Glancing slowly downwards I was almost surprised at the absence of tears. In five months I hadn't been able to look at a photo of Emily and me without crying. It still hurt like hell, but I didn't feel like crying. Something pulled in the corner of my brain and I finally accepted that it was over. She wasn't my Emily anymore; she was someone else's to love now.

I debated throwing the photo out but decided that it would probably be more of a help than a hindrance so instead I put it in the top draw of my bedside cabinet.

I busied myself tidying up the room for the few hours that Melissa was out at her meeting, all the while trying desperately to think of exactly what I was going to say when she returned. I decided that I usually think well after a few drinks so I grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured myself one on the rocks. Half a bottle later I was completely mashed, _I have absolutely no self control_, I felt warmer and happier than I had in a long time and I was seemingly looking forward to Melissa's company. After all even though she didn't know it yet, she was in part responsible for helping me turn my life around.

**Next chapter coming shortly, please review!!!! :) **


	4. Chapter 4

**A big thank you to everyone reading this and an even bigger thank you to everyone reviewing it! I cant believe that the chapters keep flowing out of me. :) Keep reviewing!**

A month had passed and with each day my confidence grew. I was already knee deep in lectures to write up and essays to finish, I almost didn't have time to party. _I said almost_. My schedule was drummed firmly into my brain, three lectures a week each one lasting around two hours. The rest of the time was mine to do with as I pleased and I had eventually found a happy balance between partying and work. After all, all work and no play is just plain shit.

Melissa and I were becoming best friends, she had helped me so much. It didn't surprise me that she was studying psychology she knew what was going on in my head better than I did. She managed to get me all the way through my first real heartbreak and above all that she was as gay as a post so I didn't have to hide the uncertainty about my sexuality. And even though I still wasn't really sure who I was I knew I was well on the way to being o.k. I just had to keep reminding my subconscious that no matter what she thought of herself, Emily wasn't weak, and wherever she was right now I hoped with all my heart that she was happy. And it was the belief that even though I had completely crushed her, she was going to pick herself up and be better than ever, that kept me going. That was the most important thing, and the moment I stopped believing that I would probably descend back into hating myself for what I had done.

"You thinking about something? Shit you are...you're actually thinking!" Melissa jumped onto the sofa and stole the packet of crisps that I was half way through eating.

"You know what happens when you steal my food, yet you keep doing it." I swiftly managed to wrestle her to the ground and grabbed back my crisps. _One nil to me! _

"Want us to come back later?" Jake and Carly barged their way through the door and onto the sofa. Melissa gave me one last shove before clambering into the kitchen and getting her own packet. Jake was the first guy I'd ever told I wasn't completely straight, it was a good sign when he didn't turn and run away screaming. Carly was his girlfriend, she was nice enough but a little dim. Not in a book smart kind of way more of a 'let me get the toast out of the toaster with a knife' kind of way. She was stupidly intelligent yet had the common sense of a garden hose, but she did make me laugh. Which is always nice. She had guessed I was at least bisexual when she stumbled in on me and Mel kissing in the bathroom of 'Cherry' our local club. It was a drunken kiss that didn't really lead anywhere, but it was nice, I won't lie. Since then we'd definitely set up boundaries, basically decided that we were friends and that was that.

"So, we going out and getting ratted tonight then?" Jake was always straight to the point. If it was up to him we would be going out every night, it wasn't a bad idea but I didn't want my work to suffer too much. Getting kicked out of university would force me right back to the start, something I really didn't want to happen.

"Of course, it's ladies night at 'Cherry'" Mel kicked me just to make sure I was paying attention. I smirked back at her and knew that she had something wicked in mind. Ladies night was when the raging lesbians came out to play, Mel was always there on a Thursday. And Friday morning was often filled with luxurious sex noises emanating from her room. I'd been to ladies night once, the first week I was here and felt completely out of my depth and even though now I was a little more sure of myself I was still totally scared. _Come on you loser, you're going to have to put yourself back on the market at some point! _

"Sure, why not." My confidence knocked me back slightly but I managed to persuade myself that everything was going to be ok. Plus that would leave me most of the weekend to pack my stuff away for the few days I was going to spend at home. All my lectures next week were cancelled on account of divorce. My professor had to go to Warwick and sign some papers, bully for him. So I had decided that I would go home and show mum that I wasn't falling apart enough to warrant four phone calls a day.

"You actually want to go?" Mel was surprised; to be fair everyone was surprised.

"Yea, why not...what's the worst that could happen?" I felt three pairs of confused eyes looking at me as I got the MDMA laced brownies out of the oven. My mind flew back to Panda's eighteenth birthday party, what a laugh that thing was. The fun we'd had was largely due to a similar cakey goodness. The inevitable memory of Emily flooded in, but instead of crumbling, I smiled. Part of my 'new life' resolution was to remember the good times Emily and I had shared not the bad ones.

"You going to share em out or just stare at em longingly?" Jake had a way with words. Especially when it was something he wanted.

"Excuse you, who paid for the ingredients?" I silenced him with a single glare; that was until Mel started laugh-choking on crisps. I cut the brownies and left them to cool, ultimately deciding that it was far too early in the afternoon to get completely drugged up.

"We'll eat them before we go out. It will make for a nice buzz before we get to the club." I shoved a beer into his hand instead hoping that it would suffice for now. Before I knew it I was playing waitress and made up a round of a weird cocktail mix I had stumbled across purely by accident whilst I was attempting to make Blue Lagoons at one of Mel's LGBT get togethers that had made its way back to our room. It was the first time in my life I had been surrounded by people who knew exactly what I was going through. Since then I had managed to persuade myself to go to three meetings, I was able to talk openly about my apparent growing love and lust for women. It was absurd how much talking things through actually helped me to see things more clearly. I wasn't afraid of liking girls in fact I was slowly realising how much better than men they were. Not to mention just how gorgeous women are, luscious lips, gorgeous legs and hips. And I started to see just how much I loved boobs, the way they rise and fall with each tender breath. _Just a little gay...huh!_

I decided it would probably be a better idea to get changed now, before I got slightly drunk and completely lost all sense of hand-eye coordination. I wasn't entirely sure what to wear but settled on my white skinny fit jeans and a tightly cropped yellow vest top. My white leather Doc Martins completed my outfit along with a few bracelets and a clutch bag to hold my phone and purse. I fluffed up my hair before returning to the living room.

I went over to the kitchen to pour myself a drink and was greeted by two piercing wolf whistles, one from Jake and the other from Mel. I wasn't entirely sure if Carly had grasped what was going on but she didn't seem to notice me until sat down next to her.

"Did you change?" it was very rare that she spoke, I'm sure she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend and even though every fibre in my body told me to be a sarcastic bitch I decided politeness never hurt anyone.

"Yea, just changed my clothes in case I get too drunk to do it later!" I tried to smile at her but I'm sure it just showed all the disdain that I was trying not to release.

"Why is it that the drunker you get the harder it is to get dressed but the easier it is to undress someone else?" Jake commented before we erupted in laughter.

"God you're philosophical!" Mel threw a pillow at him before disappearing into her room, I assumed she was going to throw on some gorgeous outfit that shoved mine into the shadows. She was after all far too beautiful for her own good. Standing roughly the same height as me she had a perfectly toned body. Her skin was tanned and matched her flawlessly natural auburn hair to a tee; her eyes were a shade of burnt chestnut that could portray any emotion. It was safe to say that she had 'come to bed' eyes. Basically she was a vision, a little bit like Effy had been through college. Minimal effort, maximum reward. She grasped your attention firmly without even trying.

That's probably why I was so uncomfortable the last time we had gone to 'Cherry' on ladies night, there she was at the bar surrounded by girls practically falling over themselves to get her attention. And there I was stood propping up the bar next to her trying desperately to avoid any flirting that came in my direction. But now seeing as I was growing into a rampant muff muncher I had decided that there was no time like the present to put my skills to the test.

Two hours of drinking followed before we were all merry enough to scoff down three brownies a piece and fall out of the university grounds into town. The neon sign that marked our destination was just up ahead and I felt a spasm of nerves creep into my brain. Mel must have seen as she took my hand carefully in hers and kindly dragged me through the door and up to the bustling bar. The club was buzzing, women were everywhere and obviously the odd guy wandered around thinking he had the cure to lesbianism. Idiots.

I was beginning to feel the full effects of the brownies as Carly and Mel dragged me onto the dance floor. Carly grabbed my wrists and threw them up in the air before twisting her hips rhythmically into mine. The music blared out and washed over us all, before I knew what was happening I felt two hands on my hips from behind me and I was turned around and pulled up close to a very attractive girl. I caught my breath as her blazingly dark eyes met mine and couldn't quite believe my own reaction as my arms wrapped around her waist as we danced. The lights flashed out and glistened over the small misting of sweat that was clinging to everyone's skin.

"I need a drink!" I had to shout rather close to her ear for her to hear me but she took my hand and led me out of the crown towards the bar. She ordered for me shouting something about how much I would like it. I waited patiently, realising that we were still holding hands. About a minute later the bar tender arrived with two beers and two glasses of a weird pink and orange liquid. She handed one to me and downed hers before taking a long swig of lager. The colours of the shot were mesmerising and probably heightened by the MDMA roaming through my system. I must have been staring at it for far too long as she reached up and helped my hand put the glass to my lips. She smiled as I gulped it down and screwed my face up tightly as the vodka warmth ran down the back of my throat.

"Jesus, fuck...what was that?" I spluttered taking a gulp of beer to cool down. The taste was incredible.

"It was a Barbie shot, knew you'd like it!" The light from the bar illuminated her features as she smiled. She was hot.

"I'm Naomi!" I was still really close to her so she could hear me easily without me hafting to shout.

"Hey, I'm Faith...I haven't seen you around here before." She flashed a smile at me and carefully tucked an escaping strand of hair behind my left ear, her fingers lingered on my skin for as long as they dared.

"No, um...I'm you know, testing the water!" We laughed before downing the rest of the beer and making our way back onto the dance floor. Then we quite literally danced the night away.

My attention had been somewhat preoccupied but as the night was drawing to a close I realised that Melissa, Carly and Jake had disappeared. I didn't really mind but I was far too drunk to make my way easily back to the university alone. Thankfully Faith offered to walk me back to the room so we head out into the early morning and very clumsily made our way back to the university grounds. We were laughing and singing loudly all the way through the halls. As we got close to my room I took Faith's hand and pulled her round in front of me.

"You wanna come in?" _Shit, was I being too forward? _

"Sure, could use some coffee." She smiled at me and I took her hand, leading her inside. I was far too drunk to make proper coffee so I grabbed the jar of instant out of the cupboard and switched the kettle on. I poured two mugs and handed one to Faith who had made herself comfortable on the sofa. We sat in silence for a moment as she polished off her mug almost too quickly. I didn't know where this was going to lead, I wasn't even sure I was ready for it to lead anywhere but as she put her empty cup down on the table I knew I was about to find out.

Our eyes met and before I realised what I was doing my hand was on top of hers, I looked down as her fingers intertwined with mine. Her loose hand found its way to my chin and lifted my head upwards until our faces were barely inches apart. She leaned in just enough so I could feel her warm breath on my lips, her eyes were tightly shut and she looked so amazing. I moistened my lips with my tongue and closed the gap between us. The kiss was soft and as my lips parted slightly it deepened as our tongues met. Her hand gently played with my hair and I found mine was rested slightly on her thigh, we moved in unison and the kiss sped up slightly. That was until she pulled away.

"Not, too fast... I feel like I'm really starting to like you. I don't want to rush things." She visibly held her breath as she waited for my response.

"O.k, sure..." I struggled to think of something to say as I found that I didn't want the night to end just yet. Instead I just rummaged in the drawer of the table for a pen.

"Got a number?" I handed her the biro and she smirked as she wrote her mobile number, slightly crookedly, along the length of my arm. I walked her to the door and was rewarded by a swift peck on the cheek before I got the chance to watch her leave. I grinned faintly to myself before shutting the door and making my way towards my bedroom. I could hear the inevitable giggling emerging from Mel's room and thought about how good it sounded.

Probably not as gracefully as I imagined I put on my PJ's and collapsed into bed my head spinning as it hit the pillow and I'm almost certain it wasn't all down to drugs and beer. Staring at the ceiling watching the wind and the moon collide to make the most amazing shadows I knew... _I was without a doubt, gay!_

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter as it's about Naomi getting stronger in the knowledge of who she is! Hoped you enjoyed it and there is much more to come! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

I woke surprisingly early with vague memories of some really sweet dreams. God Faith was beautiful, just remembering the way her green eyes sparkled in the light made me wish the previous evening didn't have to end. Her jet black hair was cropped just above her shoulders and had a blue shine to it. It was almost magical. I remembered staring at her belly bar for a really long time considering the fact that her jeans sat low enough to see the beginnings of lace. As I recalled the events I could remember of the previous evening it became apparent just how much time I had spent staring at every aspect of her. She had six piercings that I could see and I found myself wondering if she had any hidden elsewhere. I liked thinking about her.

I turned over onto my back and led for a few moments just staring at the ceiling, I realised I was smiling far too much so I decided I should probably use my new found energy in a productive manner. I jumped out of bed and threw my hair up into a loose pony-tail before making myself some breakfast. I laughed at the fact that ever since I had been here I can't remember actually eating breakfast before eleven and here it was only half past nine and I was already halfway down a bowl of cheerios. I had however used up the rest of the milk and knowing how much Mel liked her after sex cup of coffee I thought that it was probably in my best interests to nip to the supermarket and get some more. I nearly skipped into my bedroom and got dressed, I remembered the number that was now smudged up my arm and decided to put it in my phone before it vanished completely.

"How long do I leave it before calling?" I asked my reflection as I fixed my hair into a more presentable bundle on the back of my head. I proved to be very little help as I found that I had absolutely no clue when to phone her. Pulling on my grey zip up jacket I made my way out into the early morning air. The sky was still red, so I figured it was probably going to rain later. _Red sky at night, shepherds delight, red sky in the morning, shepherds warning... _I shook my head at the thought of such an idiotic rhyme. Any other day I would have probably walked to the shops completely oblivious to anything around me. But today was different, today I did notice everything that usually I take for granted. Birds hummed in the trees and the damp grass tickled through my canvas shoes with the remaining early morning dew. Before I knew it I was whistling to myself. Ok, far too soppy, I put my I-pod in and melted my brain until I reached the shop. Half way through deciding whether to get full or semi-skimmed milk my phone rang. Caller ID told me who it was before I answered.

"Hey Jake! Where'd you run off to last night?"

"Carly said she wasn't altogether comfortable, and I was too ratted to give a hoot where I was dragged off to." He laughed.

"She didn't seem too uncomfortable when she was dancing with me." I realised I sounded far to accusative so quickly added...

"Not that it matters, I managed to find myself some more than pleasant company."

"Oh, really? I'm just on my way to get coffee with Carly you fancy coming? Bring Mel too if you want!" He didn't sound pissed so I decided I had dodged the bullet.

"Sure, I'll meet you at the cafe in about twenty minutes but I think Mel might be a little pre-occupied!" I wasn't sure whether Jake was awake enough to get what I had meant but I didn't have time to ask as he finished with a quick:

"Cool, see you then" and hung up the phone. I knew that I couldn't really stay long; I did after all have a truck load of work to do so that my week at home was completely void of all things university.

A quick cup of coffee and a few laughs later I was well on my way back to my room, hoping that Mel was adequately worn out and hadn't noticed that there was still no milk. As I opened the door I was hit with yet more moans of pleasure coming from Mel's bedroom. _She must really like this girl it doesn't usually go on past mid morning. _I don't think I really cared as I was far too busy thinking about whether or not it was too soon to call Faith. As I put the milk in the fridge I decided that I should probably leave calling her until tomorrow so she didn't think I was completely crazy. I thought it was probably a better idea to get on with some of the reading that I had been putting off for about a week now. Not that I was going to get much done if the muffled sex noises continued. I could always go into my room and attempt to work with my music blaring, but I didn't want to miss Mel's weekly walk of shame to attempt to replace some of the fluids that I'm absolutely sure she'd lost. I weighed up my options and decided to combine the two and work on the sofa with my I-pod to drown out the noise.

One and a half books later I still hadn't seen Mel. Admittedly I am a fast reader but I had been waiting to take the piss for about three hours, I didn't know I had such commitment but I was officially bored. Part of me wanted to barge in and interrupt them but I don't think Mel and I were that friendly just yet. Instead I made up my mind to do some packing, I wasn't going to get all the way home and realise that I had left some dirty washing here. I had learned from my mistakes and wasn't going to be taking nearly as much stuff home as I had arrived with. Mum was picking me up at three tomorrow afternoon so if I had everything packed I could sleep in till at least midday. _And by sleep I mean have awesome dreams about Faith. _

Packing didn't take nearly as much time as I had hoped but it was still just after five by the time I was done. I hadn't had any lunch so cooking something was almost certainly the best option. Rummaging through the fridge I found that we didn't really have a lot of food left, but mince plus pasta sauce makes for a half decent attempt at spaghetti bolognaise, that was if we actually had some pasta. Thankfully I managed to find a packet of whole-grain spaghetti in the back of one of the cupboards. It looked horrible but I'm sure if I doused it in the sauce I wouldn't be able to taste it. Due to the fact that there had been absolutely no movement or noise emanating from Mel's room I assumed that they had collapsed into sexed out sleep. But I still decided on making enough food for three, just in case. It was then the door opened and a rather tired looking Mel appeared wearing just her underwear.

"Thank goodness...I thought you had fucked each other to death!" Mel laughed.

"That's a good one, how long you been working on that?" I turned around and noticed the well tuned bed hair that Mel was sporting.

"A couple of hours, I've had a lot of time to think." I cringed slightly in an attempt to hold back laughter.

"Yea sorry, I think I may have found someone special, we spent most of last night just talking...we have so much in common." She smiled and made her way into the bathroom as I tended to the onion that was starting to make me cry.

"There's no need for tears, you know I love you too!" Mel joked.

"Ha funny, you two want some? I'm going to make enough for three." The onion spat loudly at me as I put it in the saucepan of boiling oil.

"Sure, sounds good. I suppose I had better introduce you to my new girlfriend to be. How long till its ready chef?" Mel was stood so close I could practically smell the sex pouring off of her.

"Someone's confident! And um about twenty minutes. I'll knock when its done, but bear in mind that if you're not out five minutes after that I am coming in!" we laughed as she returned to her room and I heard muffled voices replace the other noises that had previously been flowing through her door. A boiling saucepan of water and a stupidly messy sauce later and everything was almost cooked. Leaving my concoction for a second I knocked on Mel's door and heard a muffled laugh before what I assumed were two rather worn out people scrambling to get dressed.

I grabbed three of the four plates we had managed to steal from the cafe out of the cupboard and got ready to dish up my masterpiece. _Bollocks! We hadn't managed to steal a strainer yet. _I wracked my brain to think of some way to get the spaghetti out of the boiling water and thought the best solution was probably to use a fork. As I was dishing up the second plate of the almost too orange bolognaise sauce I heard the door behind me open for only the second time and Mel's voice pierced through the shameful whispering.

"So I was thinking that I should probably introduce you to the person responsible for most of those amazing noises you were hearing. This is Emily." The name didn't register in my brain, it didn't even register when I turned around and my eyes focused on the gleaming red hair. It registered when her eyes met mine in a brief smile before our expressions mirrored. So many emotions on show: anger, pain, anguish, sorrow, longing, _be_longing and utter confusion flashed across her face and then mine. Emily Fitch, ridiculously beautiful, ridiculously clever stood no more than three meters away but I was rooted to the spot. Before I realised what was happening the china plate that I held so gently in my hand, smashed to the ground and my heart that I held so gently in my chest went with it.

**A big well done to those who guessed the plot twist! And once again a huge thank you for the reviews, hopefully Emily's side of the story will become clearer in the next couple of chapters! Thanks a bunch for reading! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this chapter has taken slightly longer than the others, I wanted to get it right as it is probably the most important so far! Anyway...Enjoy!**

Have you ever been involved in one of those awkward silences? You know the ones where everyone is far too confused about everything and can't think of anything to say. This was nothing like those moments. It was worse. Much worse. I was completely frozen, mouth half open in shock and brain running around in so many circles that I was afraid I was going to be sick. It had been just over three months since I had seen Emily and so much longer since I had been able to drown in her eyes. I had lost all sense of feeling. The only thing that kept running through my head was the fact that I knew one day I would see Emily again, I just had no idea it would be this soon and under such circumstances. I also had no idea that it would hurt this much. _So much for being over her. _

"So, someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Mel looked at me, then to Emily and back again. Complete confusion on her face, why should she feel anything else...I'd never told her the name of the girl I was completely in love with. She wasn't to know that the one time my heart had been broken was the moment I realised that I had lost this girl, the girl she had spent all day..._oh god, I was going to be sick! _

I ran. Again. Out of the building, out of the university and I just kept going. The fresh, rain filled, air hit me and I leant on the metal fencing that was helpfully beside me and threw my guts up onto the pavement. I was such a coward, after such a long time I still couldn't face her, still couldn't bear to see the look on her face. I had just been given the opportunity that I had spent all summer praying for and here I was in the middle of god knows where in the pouring rain wishing I had even an ounce of strength to turn around and tell her the truth. I fell to the floor.

Closing my eyes I looked up into the sky and felt the rain wash all over me, I was shivering but still couldn't feel a damn thing. I loved the rain, the way it has the power to change the way we see everything. The way it can hide any emotion and make everything seem so much more beautiful. I had spent a lot of time in the rain when I was younger, for some reason that I couldn't explain it helped me think more clearly. It was so pure. This time it wasn't helping, it was just making me cold and wet. I put my head in my hands and pushed the soaking wet hair out of my face. _Come on Naomi, what are you going to do? _

I found shelter in a bus stop, the light overhead flickering making my on-coming headache seem much worse. I wrapped my arms around me to try and help keep out some of the cold, I was going to die of hypothermia all because I was too afraid to face Emily Fitch. I was disturbed from my chain of thought by a bus pulling up and letting out a few merry teenagers obviously returning from a good night out.

"You going anywhere sweetheart?" the friendly voice of the bus driver shocked me upright.

"No, I... don't have anywhere to go and I don't have any money." My teeth were chattering as I tried to maintain what little composure I was clinging onto.

"Come on, my bus has got to be a lot warmer than out there. Where's home?" he smiled at me as I made my way onto the bus telling him the nearest stop to my mum's house.

"What luck, I happen to be going that way." It didn't take long for me to see the house out of the window. He stopped at the bus stop and opened the door. I smiled at him in thanks and was once again released into the cold. The light in the front room was an obvious sign of life, I wasn't sure I wanted to face my mum. So I stood there, in the cold, my very breath imprinted on the almost freezing air. One deep breath later my hand was on the door handle and I was making my way inside waiting patiently for the onslaught of worry. I realised I was still shivering as my mum all but ran out of the front room, Kieran in toe.

"Naomi! What the hell happened?" I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and collapsed into her arms, I was back at the very beginning.

I hadn't been able to sleep, every time I closed my eyes I saw Emily, I could see the smile she had given me the split second before realising who I was. I replayed every kiss we had ever had and every time we had ever spent the night together over and over again in my head. But more than that I thought about all the lust filled glances and secret touches we had shared. I thought about how her hand fit perfectly in mine and how the warmth of her breath on my neck made me quiver from head to toe. The memories that I had been escaping since the end of college hit me all at the same time. But I wasn't crying anymore, I was just sat in silence, I was letting myself remember her. They were after all the best moments of my life.

Morning arrived far too quickly; I heard the Kieran mumbling to himself as he got ready for work, he always had been a good alarm clock. I waited until I heard the front door open and his skip of a car backfire only twice before starting. I didn't really want to face anyone just yet. I figured mum would still be tucked up in beds so I quietly crept into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

"I always told you a good cup of tea solved anything." Mum's voice rang through from the front room. I guess she couldn't sleep either.

"Yea, although I'm not sure it's going to do me much good." I managed a brief smile as I sat down in the armchair opposite her, noticing the worry lines that appeared as she looked up at me.

"So you ready to tell me what happened?" She never pressured me to tell her anything I didn't want to. But after everything I had spent last night thinking about it couldn't hurt to talk it through. So I did. It took two hours for me to completely pour my heart out, a mere two hours for me to sum up everything. How I'd made some fantastic friends, finally found out who I was and ultimately come face to face with Emily again. Mum didn't say a word, not even when I told her I was completely gay, she'd probably already guessed and I loved her for it. After I had said everything I felt I needed to mum just looked at me, her eyes shining with the tears that I couldn't cry. We sat in silence for a few moments, it was a lot for her to digest. Hell I didn't even think I fully understood everything yet.

"So, why are you here?" Mum eventually managed to say extremely bluntly.

"What do you mean?" I would be lying if I said I wasn't confused I don't think there was even an inch of my brain that knew what she was asking.

"I mean, you and Emily met again...and it wasn't her that ran away. It was you. What I'm asking is why you're _here_ not knocking on her door?" I hated it when my mum made more sense of my life than I did.

"Because I don't know what to say, I have so much I want to say but I know as soon as I see her I will just turn into a weeping mess." I couldn't believe I sounded so lovesick, I thought I had been making more progress than this.

"Look, from what you've told me I hate to say Naomi but it sounds like Emily's moved further along than you have. You've just got to ask yourself, would you rather have Emily in your life as a friend or not have her in your life at all?" I couldn't answer that, Emily and I had never really been friends. We'd gone from uncomfortable acquaintances to occasional lovers to girlfriends. There had been no _just _friends.

"I don't know if I can stop loving her." I looked at the floor in the thought that I didn't think I was ever going to be able to get over her. Not really. There was always going to be the 'what if' roaming around in the back of my brain. What if I had been brave, what if I had been able to tell her how trapped I had felt, what if I hadn't been an utter cock and cheated on her.

"You know the expression, if you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go. Maybe you just need to tell her that you just want her to be happy. Make new foundations towards being ok." Mum sighed to herself and crossed the room to give me a quick pat on the shoulder and kiss on the forehead. Before I knew it I was left in the solidarity I had craved. I wasn't sure I wanted it anymore, but I took the opportunity to think through what my mum had said. She was right, she was always fucking right. A smile cracked through my face, god mum annoyed me, but I loved her for it. I knew what I needed to do. An hour, a shower and a change of clothes later I found myself right back where I had started. On Emily's doorstep trying to find the strength to knock.

Unfortunately it had slipped my mind that last the time I was here I was completely off my face drunk, I could use a little Dutch courage right now. I wasn't even sure if Emily was at home and I was still shaking. It was then the door opened.

"Are you just going to stand out here all fucking day or are you going to knock the door and face up to me?" I couldn't breathe, she spoke to me. In all the situations I had imagined, nine out of ten of them involved someone slamming the door in my face and only one involved her yelling 'Fuck off' really loudly whilst slamming the door in my face. I hadn't prepared myself for this.

"Well?" she seemed so angry, but I guess angry was a little better than no emotion at all.

"Emily...I, I'm... uh, for fucks sake, Emily, can we talk?" I let out a deep breath as I managed to make a vaguely complete sentence. She didn't say anything, just walked back towards the kitchen leaving the door open. _Was I meant to follow her? _I pushed through the door and closed it behind me, I waited for the onslaught of Katie or Jenna yelling and/or punching me repeatedly. Nothing.

"They're not here, it's just me." She must have sensed my apprehension. She always had tried to protect me, I missed it. She looked amazing. Almost the same as I remembered but completely different. She wore a stunning deep purple dress that was pulled in at the waist. Black leggings trailed over her gorgeous legs and her hair was as red and brilliant as ever, a slight quiff making her seem so grown up. I shivered slightly as her gaze wandered over me as she disappeared into the kitchen. I swallowed hard, pushed all the feelings I had to the back of my mind and followed her. What was I going to say? I owed Emily so much explaining, but had no idea where to start. _The beginning might be a good idea. _

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, but I know that it's not enough. I could apologise to you every day from now until then end of time and it still wouldn't come close to being enough. You asked me to be brave and I couldn't no matter how much I fell head over heels in love with you. And then I fucked it all up and still didn't have the guts to face you. I can't explain why I did what I did, but I was scared. And I know that's not an excuse but I just... I just need you to know that if I could go back and change what happened I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. So all I really think I can say is that even though I'm no longer the one who gets to make you happy, I still want you to be happy with every fibre of my soul." I was still stood in the doorway, I didn't think I could get closer to her without wanting to just wrap her up in my arms.

"Well thats just fucking great Naomi, I'm glad you came all the way over here to tell me that the only reason you cheated on me was because you were scared... you were always fucking scared but you never talked to me. I was always there for you but you just kept running." Her words cut through me, but at least we were talking, it was more than I had hoped for.

"I have no excuses, I don't even have that many reasons. All I have is regret and sorrow that I messed it all up. I know that I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, but I have been doing some serious thinking...I need you in my life Emily and I know that's one hell of a lot to ask, but I don't want to go through existence knowing that the next time I see you I will fall apart. I'm not scared anymore and I know that things can't go back to how they used to be but I'd love to be your friend." God that hurt, all I wanted to do was tell her how much I still loved her, tell her that I didn't think I was ever going to love anyone else but I couldn't. I couldn't put her through that, I'd hurt her enough.

"You know I hated you, I don't think I cared if I ever saw you again, you were everything to me and you ruined it. Everything hurt and all I wanted was for the whole thing to just stop." She started crying, I just wanted to kiss the tears away. I knew I couldn't. Instead I sat down next to her and crossed every boundary by putting my hand on her shoulder. She didn't push me away. Hope flashed through my mind but I didn't let it overwhelm me, I wasn't going to mess everything up for her again. It was at that precise moment that she leant in towards me and pressed her head into my neck. God her hair smelt good, I'd forgotten that smell, I'd forgotten that it made me tingle all over. She had to notice how hard my heart was beating. I felt like it was about to explode in my chest and it was at that moment that I realised..._I can't, I don't think I can set her free._

"I never wanted to hurt you. And I am sorry." They were the only words I had left. Her touch practically burnt through my clothes and inflamed my skin, she felt amazing. I didn't want to let her go, I just wanted to stay this way forever. I felt her wipe the tears away from her face and then she sat upright, looked at me and then smiled.

"I missed you Naomi." She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in tightly. I couldn't breathe but this time it was for all the right reasons. I knew she didn't forgive me just yet but it was nice to be given the chance. She muffled something in my ear.

"And I'm sorry about yesterday, I had no idea." She was apologising about Mel. She was actually saying sorry for moving on with her life.

"You have absolutely no need to apologise, I should be sorry for running out on you yet again. But Mel's a great person, did you explain anything to her?" I sounded stupid, trying to see if someone else had spilt the beans so I didn't have to. She pulled out of the awkwardly long hug and her eyes met mine again.

"No, she kinda pieced it together on her own before I ran away too." We laughed, it had been so long since we had laughed together and it felt incredible. Mum was right, having Emily in my life as a friend was so much better than not having her in my life at all. But setting her free, that was going to be harder than losing her in the first place, even if it meant I got to see her without too much pain.

"Fancy coming back to the university with me and you know, explaining everything to her. I really want you to be happy and yesterday it seemed like you were." What the hell was I doing? I was giving Emily, my Emily to someone else. I had to do it. We needed to start working on as my mum had put it 'New Foundations'. I had to let her go. I had to let her go if I was going to have any chance of winning her back.

**I would like to thank everyone for the positive feedback recieved for the last chapter... keep the reviews coming! Another chapter will follow shortly however i do have to return to work tomorrow so it might not be uploaded for a few days! Bare with me! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok, so this chapter was supposed to take a little longer but I found myself making notes about it on a beer mat at my local so decided to come home and write it! What a fun life I lead...anyway, Enjoy!**

We must have talked for at least three hours, re-connecting, getting to know each other again. With every word she spoke I got more and more hooked. She had spent the summer travelling through Eastern Europe before meeting up with her family in France for two weeks. I grimaced at the thought of her hafting to spend quality family time with her twin and mother, neither of which managed to accept who Emily was. She had also spent a little time up north with some of her non-immediate family. I guess that was why she hadn't been there the last time I had dug up the courage to try and talk to her. She said that she was taking a year out of school, how everything had got a little too intense and she just needed a break. I above all people could understand that.

I was listening to her so intently every word exploded in my brain, every word told me exactly how she had got over me. Every word showing me once again that Emily was so much stronger than I was. To my slight annoyance it hadn't taken much persuasion for her to come back to the university with me, but at least I was getting to spend more time with her. I didn't want the afternoon to end but in the knowledge that at any moment Jenna could come home and kill me, we said goodbye. All I had to do was find something to occupy me for the next couple of days until Emily and I went to face Mel.

The only thing I wanted to do to pass the time over the days ahead was think of Emily, think of how grown up she had seemed and how even the slightest look had made me melt inside. I knew that the instant we got to the university it was going to be Emily and Mel so I was going to enjoy the few moments I had left of just Emily and me. I sat in my room and stared at the rug on the floor, desperately reaching for the memory of when we first really connected. Laughing about the student presidential race that I ultimately lost to Cook. And how Emily had crumbled when I asked her what exactly it was that lesbians did, not knowing that within a few days at the side of a lake, I would find out. Memory led to memory and before I knew it I was completely lost all over again but I was going to do everything it took not to mess it up for her this time. Everything, even help her get with my roommate.

Thursday morning arrived far too quickly and I found that I was stupidly nervous about both seeing Emily and talking things through with Mel. The bus left in three hours and we had arranged to meet up for coffee before we set off so I found myself going through eight sets of clothes before settling on what I thought was the best one. _It wasn't a date! _

"Hey, Naomi..." Emily was sat so elegantly waving at me from one of the tables. She looked more amazing than she had a few days ago, if that were possible. She was wearing a bright yellow skirt and a green vest top, a white belt pinched in at her waist and made her chest look stupidly hot. _I was completely addicted to boobs. _I attempted to shake the 'I just want to do bad things to you' look off of my face and gave her a brief hug before sitting down beside her. She'd already ordered my coffee for me, far too creamy with hazelnut syrup, just the way I liked it. I smiled and took a sip, letting the warm nutty goodness wash all over me before losing myself in her eyes.

There was very little conversation at the cafe and even less on the bus, I presumed it was because she was just as deep in her own thoughts as I was. Although her thoughts were probably filled with what we were going to tell Mel my head was buzzing with the fact that our legs were touching ever so slightly and she hadn't shuffled away yet. I didn't really have as much time as I had hoped and before I knew it we were standing outside room 213 waiting for one of us to make the first move. Finally united again, if not in the way I had hoped. All I could keep telling myself was, 'let her be happy, set her free, you would only end up hurting her and running away again anyway.'

We both just stared at the door. I felt like a needed a push, needed a boost of confidence to do the right thing. _Be careful what you wish for. _It was at that precise moment I felt Emily's hand take mine and squeeze it gently, silently saying... 'Let's do this.' She smiled at me before opening the door and all but dragging me into the room. Mel was waiting, part of me wondered how long she had been sat there but part of me didn't really care.

"So, the lowly wanderers return." She glanced up at us from the book she was reading. I couldn't read her face but I assumed it was a mixture of anger, jealousy and still a touch of confusion. I hoped I was wrong and she was happy as pie and no longer wanted Emily, but I didn't think I was.

"Yea, we owe you an apology, two really...one for running and one for not coming back to let you know we were ok." It had been an eternity since Emily had used 'we' when referring to her and me. The mere mention of the word made me feel a little light headed. Emily looked back at me and I recognised the look she gave me; meaning it was my turn to speak.

"Hey, Mel... I um, I should of explained and not ran but it was the first time I'd seen Ems in a long time and I couldn't think of the words I wanted to say. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it happened." I'd called her Ems, damn slip of the tongue. I saw her face flash red, she'd noticed. I hoped above hope that it didn't bring back too many memories, thankfully Mel spoke before she had much time to dwell on it.

"Look, I've guessed what happened, you haven't got to explain it... I'm glad your back together. Emily...you were all Naomi talked about for the first week I knew her." Now I felt my own face start to blush, oh no.

"No, um I mean...uh, we're not, you know...together. We just talked some stuff through and we came here to let you know that everything is going to be ok." I was shaking, she had made the assumption I was back with Emily, _oh SHIT! _

"Yea, um, we're not together, we've decided that we want to try being friends." Emily looked up at me and I nodded instantly.

"In that case..." Mel leant in and kissed Emily who didn't back away, it took everything I had not to do something I was going to regret. But it took even more for me not to flood with tears. I was being the mature adult in this situation but I still didn't need it rubbed in my face. Emily smiled shyly at the kiss she had just received but did her best not to make me feel uncomfortable about it.

"Oh yea, also by the way, a girl called Faith came round the other day, wanting to know if she'd done something wrong? Said you hadn't called." I had completely forgotten; my brain wasn't used to thinking about this much. Now not only had I completely lost Emily I had also won the bonus prize of forgetting about the only other person that had made me feel anything remotely close to affection. Just fucking great.

"Shit, I better call her." I walked through into my room found my phone in the third pocket I checked quickly finding the number highlighted Faith. My thumb hovered closely over the green button, I had to try and move on...again. I heard the ringing in my ear and I found myself praying that it would go to voicemail. _I really am such a coward._

"Hello" ok, so much for voicemail.

"Hey, it's Naomi, don't hang up, I'm sorry I didn't call. I've been... uh, busy." I sighed to myself, I can't lie to her... "Busy...talking things through with my ex." I was met with silence. Everything told me that she hated me.

"Yea, Mel told me, she said that you two obviously had some things to sort out." Her voice was bland. I'd messed everything up, again.

"I should have called to tell you, I'm sorry but I was wondering whether you wanted to go bowling or maybe to see a film with me?" I don't know whether I wanted her to say yes or no, on one hand it would probably help me forget about Emily, but on the other... she wasn't and didn't even come close to being Emily.

"Sure, why not? Say Saturday... I can kick your ass at bowling!" I'm glad she couldn't see me as my face showed absolutely no emotion. There was not even a hint of animation to my face, I was just thinking.

"Great, can you get here for like six?" I asked with as much excitement as I could possibly force into my voice.

"Yea, see you then Naoms." The line went dead, it was probably just as well. _Naoms_, Emily's name for me. Everything still reminded me of Emily and she was only sat in the next room, not ignoring me but not wrapped up in my arms either. I fought back the tears that welled up in my eyes and tried really desperately to cling onto the idea that I had a date with a beautiful girl in two days but all I could think about was the girl who stole my heart away. The girl who was sat in the next room more than likely making out with my roommate. This time I was going to interrupt them.

I walked in to the living area as loudly as I possibly could to make a sufficient input on the surroundings. Emily was sat on the sofa by herself, I assumed Mel had either gone to get changed or gone to the bathroom. They were probably going to go out and get completely wrecked later. I had never wanted to be wrong so much in my life. I smiled, it was all I could think of to do.

"So, Faith...that's a cute name." I'm not sure whether it was my wishing or whether there was an actual hint of jealousy in her voice.

"Yea, we're going out on Saturday, bowling." I laughed a little with the nerves that were bottled up inside of me as Mel returned to the fray.

"We should make it a foursome! You know double date." She was far too spirited as she fell down onto the sofa next to Emily and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. I turned away so the look on my face didn't show. Probably one of the last things I wanted to happen was to willingly put myself further into the situation where I had to watch Emily be all smoochy with someone else. Somehow this whole setting her free thing seemed a lot worse than I thought it would. It was then I heard her laugh, a laugh that flowed all through me and I realised, she was happy. And that was worth everything to me, it made all the pain and rib-aching torture I felt, completely worth it. Her happiness was the only thing in the world that had ever really mattered to me.

"Yea, why not, we'll all go together. It'll be fun." Call me sadistic but I wanted to surround myself in Emily, whether she was with someone else or not. It was going to hurt me one hell of a lot more than it was going to hurt anyone else, but I believed that everything happened for a reason. I knew deep down that if you're meant to be with someone that fate would ultimately put you together. Guess I was trying to help fate out a little by spending as much time as possible with her. Worst case scenario is that she is happy with Mel, best case scenario we battle through and get back together. _No harm in wishing. _

Emily didn't stay long and turned down Mel's offer to go out and get drunk. Even though she hid it better than I did I suspected that there was still a hint of awkwardness about the whole situation for her. I was struggling with it. She kissed Mel goodbye and thankfully missed my cringe before hugging me and leaving murmuring something about seeing us on Saturday. I was still embracing her touch so didn't really hear what she had said. And then the silence kicked in. Mel could read me like an open book, she had to know what I was thinking, she had to know that all I wanted was to be good enough for Emily. If she did know it, she decided not to say anything. Instead she walked past me and got two cold beers out of the fridge, opened them and handed one to me.

"Glad you two sorted things out and if anything gets too strange or painful just let me know. You're probably the best friend I've had in a long time, I don't want anything I do to hurt you." She smiled before disappearing into her room. _Great she was going to be completely sweet about the whole situation._ I couldn't clear my head so I returned to what I do best, staring at the wall in front of me, thinking. I thought about Emily's smile, how annoyingly composed Mel was being and how, no matter which way I swung it, I was using Faith. _Why is everything in my life so fucking complicated?_ I collapsed onto my bed and started to count the number of times that I had asked myself that question. The conclusion I came to was too many. But this time it was different, this time everything could be made simpler with four stupid words.

"I...still...love...you." I whispered it into my pillow. But with those four words came the possibility that I would once again hurt Emily. And that was something that I wasn't prepared to do again, even if I missed her every single second for the rest of my life.

The week of sleepless nights quickly caught up with me and before I had even finished my beer I was falling into peaceful dreams of a certain red-head that has a gorgeous body, an exasperatingly sexy face and possibly the best boobs I had ever seen. I'm pretty much certain I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

**You're going to get bored of me saying this but once again thank you for reading, please review and more chapters to come... :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry this took so long, I found that I had far too much to do so fan fic had to take a back seat for a few days, however it looks like my story is finally getting to the good stuff! :)**

Bowlarama wasn't as packed as I thought it was going to be which was probably a good thing considering my vague dislike for PDA as I found myself receiving a swift kiss before Faith disappeared to the bar. Emily and Mel were still choosing which ball they were going to use, the dislike I had for public affection was magnified by about a million when it involved Emily and someone that wasn't me. But I was going to make this work.

It didn't take me long to realise that I was absolutely awful at bowling and I was starting to regret suggesting it. Plus the shoes felt like they were made out of bricks and I was sure that the last person to wear them had some sort of chronic foot odour problem. But despite all the struggle I was still happy to be spending some quality time with Emily...and her girlfriend. It was surprising how well we were all getting along, except for the stabbing pain in my heart telling me that it should just be me and Emily.

We'd paid for three games and I lost all of them, the last game I managed to do slightly better but that may have been down to the five beers I got through. The warm haze of alcohol was buzzing through me and I made my way rather clumsily to the toilet. I had to clear my head so I took advantage of the freezing water from the tap, unfortunately it didn't really help and slightly smudged my eyeliner. I was staring at my reflection. I managed a small reassuring smile, trying in some way to let myself know that I was definitely one hundred percent doing the right thing. I saw the door open behind me and Emily walked in bringing all the discomfort in with her.

"Hey, you ok? You've been in here for a while." Her eyes met mine in the reflection before I turned around.

"Yea, I was just, thinking." I reached past her and grabbed a few tissues to sort out my face. Slowly wiping the melting black eyeliner from underneath my eyes and then expertly replacing it. Emily had gone into one of the booths but was muttering something under her breath I couldn't quite hear, but I think I had managed to pick out Mel's name. I sighed a little.

"So, Faith seems nice." Regrettably I couldn't see the look on her face when she said it, and the tone of her voice didn't give much away. I turned around and was once again greeted by my disapproving reflection.

"Yea...but she's not you." _SHIT had I just said that out loud? _I couldn't feel anything; that was until I realised that the flush had come at possibly most opportune moment. I don't think she had heard me. Part of me wished she had. I didn't hang around long enough to see her face so I returned to Faith and Mel at the bar.

Faith was sat on a bar stool and held out her hand towards me as I approached. She had a stupidly large grin on her face as my hand met hers and she pulled me in towards her. Both of her knees parting to let my waist in and both of her hands strategically finding the back pockets of my jeans. Her thumbs moving agonisingly close to the line where denim met skin. I found myself leaning in and kissing her, gently at first before our hungers matched and her lips parted allowing my tongue to explore. Eventually we pulled apart and my hands rested lightly on her thighs.

"We should probably get the official stuff out of the way then." She looked up at me, green eyes dissolving into mine.

"What?" I was obviously completely out of practice in this whole scenario. She laughed a little and I smiled to myself as I noticed the adorable dimples that appeared and how her whole face changed when she giggled.

"I mean..." she took a deep breath, "will you be my girlfriend?" The question lingered on her lips long enough for her to somehow make it sound sexy. I almost inhaled the mouthful of beer I had taken and swallowed quickly before coughing a little. _Smooth! _I didn't have to say anything I just nodded before wrapping my arms around her and sneaking a quick kiss as Emily returned. I turned around in my girlfriends arms and leant into her slightly. I ended up facing Emily and Mel who were sitting on the lounge chairs by the pool tables. Emily was just staring at the floor.

"Hey, what's up Ems?" I smiled at her and she looked up as Faith's arms re-wound themselves around my hips. Mel reached over and took Emily's hand in her own.

"Yea, you ok babe?" Mel lifted Emily's hand to her lips and kissed it gently. Emily just looked up at her and nodded. Mel accepted it, I guess I was the only one who knew her well enough to know she was lying. Faith leant into the back of my neck.

"I'm fed up paying three fifty for a pint, let's go back to yours...and when am I going to get you all to myself?" I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks so I found myself once again staring at my feet in an attempt to hide it. I guess everyone had the same idea simultaneously as it wasn't long before we were walking back to the university. Faith's fingers were wrapped around mine and I didn't feel nearly as uncomfortable as I had the first time Emily and I had held hands in public. I guess I was making a little progress in this whole 'let Emily be happy' and 'accept that you're gay already' thing. Mel and Emily were talking behind us, probably about Emily's persistent silence since we left Bowlarama. But when I did find an opportunity to turn around at some traffic lights they too were holding hands and Emily had an annoyingly sexy smile on her face.

By the time we returned to our room it was late afternoon so we indulged in some left over pizza that Mel found in the fridge. It tasted amazing although I suppose most things do after the amount of beer I had already drank. After the delicious two day old pizza, Faith and I cuddled together in the chair whilst Mel and Emily lounged on the sofa. Faith's fingers were moving slowly up and down the back of my legs, I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty that part of me wanted to just drag her into my bedroom and fuck like rabbits until morning. I managed to contain myself as the light conversation turned into an outrageously immature game of truth or dare.

"Naomi...truth or dare." Trust Mel to pick me.

"I'll pick truth, just because I think I am far too drunk to do anything right now." It was probably true but I knew what Mel was like and that the dare would probably involve me either removing clothing or groping some fruit.

"Truth it is...um, ok...if you could change one thing about you, what would it be." I was very impressed with the intensity of the question considering we were all blindingly drunk. I couldn't think of anything that I would change, I was only just getting to grips with who I was, why would I go change anything. But I decided that was a cop-out answer.

"If I could change one thing about me...it would be the fact that if anything gets too hard I run. I'd like to have the strength to just go with the flow." Alcohol is awesome but it does make you tell the truth, even when a simple 'I would change my hair colour!' would probably have sufficed. My brain was hushed as Faith pulled me in and kissed me longingly.

"That was a sweet answer baby..." she held my gaze for a few seconds before I managed to glance back over to Emily and Mel. Emily was staring at me. I recalled the look in her eyes from the many tiny fuck ups we had in our relationship. It was the 'why did you go there, Naomi?' look. _I'm an idiot, that's why. _But when Mel pushed the small strand of gorgeous red fringe away from her face she smiled before they shared a tender kiss of their own. At least it took her mind off of me and my big mouth. I wasn't entirely sure which was the best outcome. By the time I had managed to persuade myself that I didn't really care, it was late evening, the darkness had rolled in quickly and the only light we had to go by was the flashing red of the fire alarm.

I untangled myself from Faith and weaved my way inelegantly over to the light switch, the room flooded with light. My decision was met with a rather loud concoction of disgruntled grumbles, most of which from Mel who was currently lying with her head in Emily's lap. I averted my gaze from the two of them and found that Faith had disappeared, probably to the bathroom. As the toilet door opened and confirmed my assumption, Mel stood up and traipsed through the door that Faith had appeared from.

"I'm quite tired sweet, I'm probably going to turn in for the night." I walked up to give her a kiss goodnight and found instead to have her hands slip underneath the back of my shirt.

"Last time I left you here alone you didn't call me for a week, you really think I'm going to make that mistake again?" She muffled loudly towards my ear as she grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards Mel's bedroom.

"Wrong room!" I laughed and attempted to redirect her into the furthest bedroom. I managed a quick unexpected smile in Emily's direction before being yanked into my bedroom and the door virtually slammed shut behind me.

I was perched on the edge of my bed staring up into Faith's beautiful green eyes. Somehow she managed to maintain perfect eye contact whilst un-doing the six buttons that ran down the length of her shirt. She stood inches away from me and I could feel the heat resonate off of her silky skin. I closed my eyes and let out one solid breath as her hands traced my jaw line. Gently she lifted my chin and her lips met mine, so soft, so warm. I trailed kisses into the nape of her neck and then further down towards her belly button. My lips pausing briefly over the black fabric that encased her breasts and I felt the muscles in her stomach tighten as my lips and tongue continued. Slowly I helped her shirt fall to the floor before she smoothly pushed me onto my back on the bed, two strong thighs encasing my hips. Once again our lips met briefly before her mouth focused its attention on my neck. I was quickly removed of my T-shirt and her kisses busied themselves as one of her hands made its way to the button of my jeans. I shivered slightly under her touch and she smiled against my skin. Her hand slipped further towards where I needed it most. I groaned slightly. _God I wanted her. _I was expertly relieved of my jeans before her fingers made their way to my warm centre, as her arm moved backwards and forwards I found my hips moving with her. My back arched as her free hand somehow managed to unhinge my bra and her mouth latched firmly onto my erect nipple. Her rhythm didn't slow as a third finger joined the two already moving inside of me and I progressed swiftly towards ecstasy. My breathing was exasperated and moans of pleasure became more frequent. She must have sensed how close I was so she effortlessly moved her tongue down my body pausing momentarily to move lace before reaching my most sensitive area.

"Fuck" I breathed as my whole body screamed beneath her. One of my hands tangled in her hair the other reached out for anything to grasp hold of as I flew over the edge. Gasping for air and legs twitching furiously, I fell further than I had in a while as her mouth returned to my own and her fingers slowed before eventually ceasing completely. My body crumbled back to earth.

"Jesus!" was all I managed to say. I felt amazing and as we shared another slow kiss and my hands wrapped themselves around her back.

"I've had so many dreams of getting to do that to you." Faith smiled down on me briefly before I turned the tables and pinned her down underneath me. The thought that I still didn't really know what I was doing flashed through my mind. I licked my lips slowly and gazed down upon her. The look of want in her eyes gave me slightly renewed confidence.

"My turn."

The night didn't last long enough.

* * *

I woke to the sound of my phone vibrating in my jeans that lay strewn across the floor. I carefully removed my arm from around Faith's very naked waist and scrambled as quietly as possible to attempt to reach my phone. One missed call. Mum always did try to get me at the stupidest times, even when I was at home I didn't usually get up before noon on a Sunday.

I found that I was surprisingly awake considering the events of the previous evening and I looked to the sleeping beauty that was still cuddled underneath my duvet. I caught a look at my rather naked self in the mirror and noticed that a purple bruise had appeared on my neck. I recalled the sensation I had as she had bitten me slightly. Smiling at my reflection momentarily I rummaged around for my grey joggers and my old hoodie. Dressing swiftly I made my way into the kitchen. _Coffee was calling me. _

It was at that moment that I fully understood how Mel felt every time she had walked through the living area for her after sex coffee. It was a mixture of slight embarrassment and overwhelming happiness. Mel glanced up at me from the book she was obviously pretending to read. I smiled carefully at her wondering if Emily was still asleep.

"Looks like the shoe is on the other foot this morning!" Mel laughed slightly as I poured myself a cup of the coffee she had already prepared.

"Only because you were up before me...Emily still in bed?" as soon as I mentioned Emily, Mel's head returned to her book.

"Something wrong?" I asked confusedly.

"Emily went home after you and Faith went to bed. She didn't even give me a kiss goodnight, to be honest she looked as though she had seen a ghost. Do you reckon that I have done something wrong?" I couldn't think of an answer, my brain was actually struggling to think of anything coherent except the thought that Emily had left and Mel was actually pretty cut up about it.

"Come on Naomi, you know her better than anyone...help me out." I just stared at the cup I held lightly in my hand. My mind was racing with a million questions, the most prominent of which was had Emily in reality been affected by me going to bed with Faith? I took a long sip of warm coffee as I thought of the best answer to give.

"Look...Emily is strong and very, very honest. If there is something wrong I'm sure she'll tell you, just give it time." I gave Mel one strong reassuring pat on the shoulder before passing her and plonking myself down by her feet. She smiled at me faintly as I heard the door open behind me. I turned around and was faced with Faith wrapped up in my bed sheets smiling slightly and biting her lip.

"Babe, come back to bed!" Her tired eyes looked down at me. I turned my attention back to Mel briefly and attempted to give her my best 'everything will be fine' smile. I then took my coffee and followed Faith back towards my room. As I shut the door behind me she grabbed the cup out of my hand and put it down on my side-table. I smiled as I noticed that she was still completely naked. Her arms wrapped around me and started pulling me towards the bed. But unfortunately for both of us my mind was elsewhere.

"Hey, I hate to do this, but I really have to do at least half of my three thousand word essay that's due in tomorrow. I really need to hit the library." I couldn't believe that I was turning down the opportunity to feel as good as I had last night. Faith pouted slightly and kissed me so sweetly it nearly made me change my mind. But she nodded at me and I knew she understood. Less than an hour later we were saying goodbye, but not before arranging to meet up at 'Cherry' tomorrow evening. Mel had kind of invited herself muttering something about asking Emily, as she returned to bed. _Lucky for some. _I on the other hand actually had some work to do.

The library was always quiet on a Sunday; everyone was probably sleeping off the events of the previous evening, something I wished I was still doing. But I'm sure that even if I were in bed my brain would be winding too fast for me to sleep. I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing, I hadn't even managed to write a title. All I could think of was Emily and why she had left. Part of me wanted to believe that she left because she still loved me and was insanely jealous that I was with someone else but my brain told me that the most likely solution was that she was just tired and I was reading far too much into this whole situation. Whichever it was, I wasn't going to get any work done today, I was far too confused. _Only one thing for it. _

It was strange, in all the time Emily and I were actually dating...I'd only ever been to her house a few times, mostly when her family was out and we had the place to ourselves. Since Emily had been thrown back into my life I had turned up at the Fitch household attempting to explain myself. Now here I was again but this time I wanted Emily to talk. My plan was flawed however as the car was still parked firmly in the drive meaning that the house was full of people that would quite happily kill me! I had to face it sometime, so I knocked on the door. Every measure of my body wanted Emily to open the door but I knew it was highly unlikely. My assumptions came true as Jenna Fitch unfastened the door.

"What the hell do you think you are doing here?" Her Scottish accent was as thick and scary as ever. Her eyes seemed to cut through my skin and survey my soul but in some ways it wasn't as bad as I had thought.

"Hello Jenna, long time no see, is Emily in?" I decided to get straight to the point, no sense in beating around the bush. But she just frowned at me.

"Look, I know you really don't like me and that you blame me for everything but I really need to speak to her, can you just let her know I'm here?" I wasn't about to let my twenty quid taxi journey go to waste. I may have been imagining it but Jenna seemed to soften slightly prior to screeching up the stairs to get Emily's attention and disappearing, leaving the door wide open. She hadn't mentioned it but I assumed I was to stay where I was. I turned around and looked over the street to see a few kids running around and an old guy eyeball me as he walked his dog.

"What are you doing here?" A thankfully familiar voice asked from behind me. I turned and looked at her, noticing the obvious signs of tears in her face. All the words that I had prepared during the journey failed me so I just went with it. I dropped my bag and closing the gap between us in two steps I felt overwhelmed. I knew exactly what I was doing for the first time in a long time. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her towards me and holding her there.

"Ems...talk to me."

**Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing, and just a brief note to say the sex scene was REALLY difficult to write in first person so I apologise if it sounds odd! :) There is still a load more in the old nogging so I will update ASAP! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much for all the comments and I know you're all itching for some Naomily action but please bare with it! :)**

I would never forget this feeling, holding onto her waist so tightly with the wind rushing through my hair and a lit cigarette in my mouth, speeding down the roads on the back of Emily's scooter. I had absolutely no idea where she was taking me. She hadn't said much, just that she wanted to show me something. She kept glancing back at me every so often as if she was just making sure that I was still there. I was more worried than I had been in a long time but managed a smile every second our eyes met at traffic lights or briefly at a roundabout.

About fifteen minutes after leaving the Fitch house we arrived at a rather derelict building. I hopped off the back as Emily expertly put the stand up. She slipped her arm through mine and led me around the back of the building. We managed to bundle our way through an almost open door and I found myself staring at a lot of concrete. It looked cold and empty. Emily was stood a few meters in front of me and I could see her shoulders shudder with tears. I walked up behind her and crossed my arms around her chest pulling her towards me once again. Her back rested slightly against my front, I put my chin lightly on her shoulder.

"Ems, where are we?" I whispered into her ear and loosened my hold on her so she could wipe a tear away.

"This..." she moved away from me "used to be my dad's gym." She turned around to look at me, eyes filled with a million things that she couldn't find the words to say.

"He's bankrupt." She continued trying everything she could to avoid looking vulnerable. "We're bankrupt, mum drove him away and now I am stuck in that fucking house with a selfish cow of a mother that keeps telling me that I should settle down and find myself a nice boy." I could feel the anger grow inside Emily, the only other time I'd seen her remotely this angry was the day our relationship ended. Anger didn't really suit Emily, she was too perfect, too pure. All I could do was stare at her, mouth half open wanting to find any words that could help her.

"How could he just leave me with her Naoms? He was the only one that remotely understood how I fucking felt. Everything is just falling apart." Her tear filled eyes just looked at me; every fibre of my heart wanted to run over to her and kiss the tears away. Tell her that everything was going to be fine, she could move in with me at university and we could just live in our own little bubble for the rest of time. And I would have done exactly that had my brain not managed to persuade me otherwise, mind over matter, she was with Mel. I felt completely selfish and guilty as for a brief moment in the complete silence I found myself feeling disappointed that she wasn't upset about me and Faith. But this wasn't about me.

"Hey...Ems, it sucks, I mean I wasn't consciously aware of my dad leaving but it sucks. And growing up with your mother telling you how much of an arsehole he is wasn't fun either. But look at you, you're stronger than this. And I'm pretty sure that's thanks in a large part to your dad. He wouldn't want you to crumble, he'd want you to look after James and Katie, you know they'll both take it so hard. And as for your mum...it's her loss that she doesn't appreciate the beauty of you. Heck I was hooked from the moment I met you and couldn't say anything because I was so afraid. I can't believe I'm saying this but maybe your mum is just scared of losing you to something she doesn't completely understand. Maybe you need to let her know that you love her and you're still Emily, you're just a hot gay version and that's not likely to change so she needs to get used to it or lose you too." Emily's eyes met mine and I recalled my mini speech. I think I may have said more than I had wanted too but I swallowed the fear back down into my stomach and just smiled at her. The corner of her lip turned up slightly and I melted in response to her cheeky smirk. I walked over to her for the third time and took her hands in my own.

"Ems, he'll always be your dad and I'm pretty sure he will always love you. You've just got to be strong and believe that everything will sort itself out and that if something is meant to be then nothing will stop it." I wondered whether I was talking about Emily's dad or whether I was divulging something that I only just realised myself that I was thinking. _If it's meant to be it will be._ She just looked up at me with those big brown beautiful drowning eyes. I was lost momentarily.

"Ok?" I asked in an attempt to get her to speak. Emily sat down and dragged me to the floor with her, I guessed she wanted to stay here a little longer but the concrete was annoyingly cold.

"Why are you so good at making sense of things?" She leant into me, her perfect red hair ticking my neck so I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"I don't know, guess I just know how you work." We stayed cuddled together for some time and gradually, lying down on the cold hard floor we drifted into a faultless sleep.

* * *

My eyes slowly opened, I felt Emily cuddled into my neck the deep slow breathing of sleep still resonating from her. I didn't know what the time was but judging by the vanishing light it must have been early evening. My arm had gone numb underneath Emily but I don't think I could have cared less as I felt her arm twitch over my stomach. She was awake. Whether she had forgotten where she was or had been taken over by her deepest wishes I don't know but I froze completely when her lips touched my neck briefly before the realisation of the situation hit her and she sat bolt upright. Probably a good thing considering how fast my heart was beating. I could see her brain rush in all directions trying to find the words to explain what had just happened.

"Forgot where you were and who you were with?" I smiled as I sat up next to her, heart still trying desperately to override the maturity I had found in the last few months. Emily just nodded and crept to her feet before helping me up. I took her hand in my own and pulled her out of the cold concrete prison and back towards her scooter.

"Fancy taking me back to university?" I asked cheekily as Emily started to put her helmet on.

"Sure, it's the least I can do after you pulled me back from the brink of despair." She smiled at me as I jumped onto the back and tentatively put my arms around her waist. Within moments we were off into the darkening evening air. The journey didn't take nearly long enough and the stupid university sign appeared in front of us. I sighed slightly as Emily slowed and eventually brought the scooter to a stop. I gracefully got off this time and handed her back my helmet which I suddenly realised that she had kept for all these months. I scratched my nose slightly in an attempt to hide the unnaturally large smile that had spread across my face. I looked up to see Emily remove her own protection and balance them both on the back of the scooter. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

_Hey babes, hope you didn't work too hard. Looking forward to tomorrow night. Miss you! Faith xx_

I just stared at the text and then waited for the guilt to hit me as I recalled the fact that all I had felt last night, the glorious feeling of Faith's skin, had been completely overshadowed by Emily's lips on my neck for a millisecond. I cared for Faith, deeply, but what I had said in the bathroom was true and even though part of me wanted to at least try with Faith I was overcome with the feeling that she would never be good enough. For the simple reason that she would never be Emily.

"Everything ok?" Emily's voice snapped me out of my downward thought spiral and I nodded slowly before returning my phone to my pocket.

"Yea, just Faith." I smiled and hugged Emily again, taking in the feeling, breathing in every essence of her, relishing in the moment before saying mandatory goodbyes. I started to walk away but I summoned up just enough strength to face her for a few more seconds.

"You know, my number's still the same...if you ever need to talk or just wanna see me." The way she nodded and put her helmet back on before driving away didn't give off much. It was the fact that she hadn't needed to ask for my number again that really made me smirk. She hadn't deleted it in the first place.

Mel was in her room with some sort of weird music blaring as I returned, I managed to rustle myself up a quick sandwich before retiring to my room myself. My bed seemed to look so comfy, although after spending the last few hours sleeping on concrete I would have relished just sleeping on the carpet. I took off my hoodie and then my joggers, rummaging around in the pocket for my phone before throwing them somewhere over near the window. I highlighted Emily and once again smiled at myself but I couldn't persuade my mind to call her. I didn't want to seem too desperate and she was probably still driving home anyway. I pulled my bed sheets back and collapsed in a big cosy heap and wriggled around only slightly before I was completely comfortable.

No more than a few moments passed before my phone buzzed next to me. I grabbed it quickly in anticipation.

_Hey, didn't get a reply from you, just checking all is ok for tomorrow. Still missing you. Faith xx_

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a tiny bit disappointed, but still Faith was my girlfriend now. My brain kept reminding me of that as I typed out a short 'yea still up for it, miss you too babe, talk tomoz, xxx' in reply. I turned over and saw that my clock was winking 20:08 at me, it was just gone eight o'clock and I was already thinking about sleep. Actually I was thinking about tomorrow and the annoying fact that I had a lecture at one in the afternoon tomorrow. It felt so long since I had actually done some work but I knew that I was prepared. _Wasn't I? _I made up my mind just in case to look over the notes I had made on the reading that Prof had left for us to do and I decided to call Jake just to see if he had come to different conclusions than I had. The phone was already ringing when I realised that he would probably be drunk or stoned or both.

Voicemail, typical. I left a message asking if I could meet up with him briefly before the lecture just to talk stuff through. I was sure he wanted to avoid looking like an idiot just as much as I did. After all he was actually quite clever. Looking at my notes now I realised that I had doodled more than I had written down actually coherent sentences. I sighed as I realised I should probably re-write them. I was attempting to find a pen when I heard a knock at the door and saw Mel fall into my room. Her eyes gave away the knowledge that she was completely off of her face and if that weren't enough she had a spliff hanging out of her mouth. She handed it to me and I took a long drag. I could almost feel the happy smoke flow into my brain and before I knew it my work was all over the floor and Mel and I were giggling like maniacs.

"So I texted Emily and she agreed to go out again with me to 'Cherry' tomorrow!" She said through the bursts of laughter. I nodded slightly in an attempt not to recognise the annoying coincidence. Faith was probably going to be pissed if Mel and Emily appeared on another date with us. It was for that reason that I decided not to tell her that I was planning the exact same thing with my girlfriend. I frowned slightly as my brain instinctually called Faith 'my girlfriend'. We were completely mellowed out and the evening drew on, each burst of chuckling taking me closer to being really tired for my lecture tomorrow.

Somehow I managed to get Mel to go back to her own room, I think the excuse I used was that I was going to call Faith and that it might get a little messy. It was a lie but it had worked. I wriggled back down into the covers and found myself starting to drift slowly into the realms of sleep. I was so very close to my desired state when I felt that my face was vibrating and found that my phone had somehow made its way underneath my pillow. Moving as little as possible I grabbed my phone and held it almost too close to my face noticing that I had a new text. The light illuminating from it blinded me slightly and I clicked view.

_I knew exactly where I was and I knew exactly who you were. Xx E xX_

**This chapter was tricky, I hit quite a few walls but I hope you enjoyed it! Once again thank you to everyone reading and please continue to review. It makes my day! :) Loads more to come!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all so much for your awesome comments, they are all so lovely! This chapter is where things start to get interesting...if you catch my drift!**

No surprises for guessing that I hadn't slept a wink. I hadn't been able to listen to Jake as he babbled on about what his notes meant. I hadn't even paid any attention to anything said in the lecture, the only thing I could think of was the text I had received last night. In the past five hours I had read it through about a thousand times, each time thinking of a different way to react. If there was one thing I absolutely couldn't do, it was read too much into it. From what she had told me she had been through a few rough days and couldn't hold in her tears any longer. Maybe she had just got caught up in the moment. Whichever conclusion I came to there was always one situation that I found myself returning to...me running into Emily's arms and never letting her go again.

However hard I tried to drown out the voice in my head that kept telling me I would only hurt her if we got back together, it remained permanently in my mind. I had been trying to do the mature thing, I had let her move on and moved on myself...in body if not in mind. I was trying with all my strength to let her be happy despite how I was feeling. I wasn't sure where her emotions were coming from, I wasn't sure my heart cared much. But my stupid brain that I couldn't shut up kept prodding at me to find out. Whether it was a love that she hadn't let go of or whether it was just simple jealousy rearing its ugly head.

I had been sat in my room, in complete silence for all of the afternoon and most of the early evening. Three missed calls and four texts, all from Faith, asking me what I was wearing tonight, what time we should meet up, whether I wanted to see her before 'Cherry and why I wasn't replying. I couldn't. I really cared for Faith and without knowing what I was going to do about Emily's sudden confession I didn't think I could talk to her. I'd feel too guilty about the afternoon I had spent completely wrapped up in all things Emily Fitch and that the moment her lips touched my skin I knew that Emily was not only the first person I had ever loved but she would also be the last. It was then that my brain came to a vaguely helpful conclusion. _I had to talk to Emily. _

"Come on Blondie!! We're going to be late for our girls!" Mel's voice made me jump out of the trance I was in. Glancing at my clock I realised that it was nearly half past eight. I had a million things left to do before we left; the first and most important was to text Faith and let her know I would meet her there in about half an hour and a slight attempt at an apology. The second was actually change my clothes, it didn't take me long to settle on some black fitted jeans coupled with a grey t-shirt and black waist coat. Mel was screaming occasionally with impatience. So I fluffed my hair slightly with some dry wax before charging out of my door and falling into Mel who looked as though she was just about to knock. Laughing a little as I helped her to her feet I grabbed the bottle of vodka from where it had landed and took a long swig before curling my face up in disgust as the liquid burnt down my throat.

Half a bottle, a spliff and some weird powder later Mel and I were stood outside 'Cherry' waiting patiently for our dates to arrive. At least we were waiting patiently for Mel's date to arrive; I didn't know what I was going to say to Faith. If I was going to say anything at all. I wasn't even a hundred percent sure she was going to turn up after I had spent all day ignoring her. I looked across at Mel whose face lit up slightly and I followed her eye line and saw Emily walking in our direction with that ridiculously sexy smirk on her face. My eyes couldn't help but look over the entire length of her body which I am sure she noticed. _Start at the bottom and work up._ She wore ankle high yellow converse leading into black tights. Reaching her lower thigh I noticed a royal blue pencil skirt making its way up towards the blue and yellow checked shirt that I had seen her wear a few times. But never like this, never open enough to show the top of a blue lace bra and the perfect curve of cleavage. Looking up further my eyes settled on her flawlessly made up face. Deep black eyeliner encased her perfect eyes and her hair had the slight quiff to it that I had seen when we finally got to talk a few weeks back. She looked so grown up and completely gorgeous. My mind imagined her in a slow motion walk. _I hated my mind. _

Emily stopped a few steps in front of us and I glanced across at Mel whose expression must have been very similar to the look I'm sure I had on my face. She stepped forward and greeted Emily with a swift kiss before taking her hand and leading her inside the club. I watched Emily leave, ok so I was watching how the skirt made her ass look nice more than I was watching her leave but I did manage to catch Emily's quick glance back in my direction before they vanished inside. I was left out in the dark waiting for Faith. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and the lack of texts made me wonder if she was actually coming tonight. Surely she would have let me know if she wasn't going to be able to make it. My thumb was already searching for her number when I heard the familiar voice.

"You waiting for someone?" Faith's voice echoed behind me and as I turned around I was pulled into a fast and hungry kiss. The smell of alcohol was heavy on her breath so I figured she had probably already been inside. She took my hand and lead me through the entrance and into the bar area where Emily and Mel were waiting at a booth. Something told me that Faith was ok with Emily being here. It was a good thing she couldn't read my thoughts, it was all about Emily.

The next hour or so passed with quite a lot of conversation that I didn't really care about. I was far too busy counting the glances that Emily threw in my direction. _Eight so far. _Every time our eyes met I smiled slightly and had to hide the want in my entire body. I was aching for her, it was getting harder to persuade myself I was doing the right thing. I still needed to ask her about that text, but I was a little too drunk and we weren't exactly alone so I decided it would probably wait. Even though I was merrily drinking away I couldn't escape my own thoughts so I excused myself from the table muttering something disjointed about needing a cigarette.

The cold air hit me in the face, my drunken blanket working wonders as it kept out the obvious chill. I found my packet of cigarettes and struggled to get my lighter to work, it didn't, but thankfully a friendly flame appeared from my right which allowed me to light my fag. Taking a deep drag I turned slightly to say thank you and was met with the stupidly grown up and completely breathtaking Emily Fitch. _Shit, we were alone. _She said nothing, just stood smiling at me, a crooked smile that meant she knew exactly what I was thinking. She flicked her freshly started fag to the ground and turned to walk down the alley that ran parallel to the club. I followed without uttering a word.

The very second we were out of the light I pushed Emily against the wall, my hands placed either side of her shoulders and pushed my lips against hers. I felt her hands creep around my back and lock together, pulling me closer. She kissed me back hungrily and our lips parted allowing tongues to reconnect. Her hips were pushing up against mine as I broke the kiss and my lips followed her jaw line before clasping around her soft neck. Biting ever so slightly I smiled as she let out a soft gasp against my ear. My hands were no longer pressed against the wall, one held her left leg up against my waist and the other was feeling its way up her opposite thigh.

"Fuck..."She just about managed to let the word escape her mouth before I encased it in my own. Her hands that were now underneath my shirt brushed over my shoulders and her nails dug in slightly as I did something she appreciated. I unbuttoned her shirt a little and knelt down letting my kisses run all over the newly exposed skin near her stomach. Completing the undoing of buttons I moved slowly upwards nibbling slightly on the soft skin just above her breast. My hand returned to her legs running quickly upwards to the band at the top of her skirt. Our lips once again met hungrily as I slipped my hand down the front of her skirt and found her warm and completely wanting core. Hips thudding carefully against my own I allowed my hand to maintain a steady rhythm as her breathing increased. She was close. My skin was ablaze from her touch. The muscles in my arm started to burn but I continued and sped up my fingers slightly. Letting out a few moans here and there she started to shudder as she fell over the edge, I held her there for as long as possible before allowing her to fall back towards me. Her body felt amazing against mine. I pulled back momentarily giving her the space to readjust the clothing that I had attacked. She did her shirt up an extra button in light of a bruise that was starting to appear on her left breast. _Woops. _I must have smiled slightly as I noticed and she put her hands on my hips and pulled me in towards her, kissing me softly and passionately.

The average cigarette, if enjoyed properly, takes about five minutes so technically our time ended ten minutes ago. Emily's breathing had returned to normal and I was still just staring at her in the disbelief not only at how amazing that had felt but that I had allowed myself to do it.

"Wow, that was...different." Emily grinned at me, I don't think she quite believed what had happened herself. But she just kept gazing at me until the tears started to form behind those beautiful eyes.

"It was just the drugs right? A moment of weakness." It wasn't I didn't believe it for a second. It was one of the strongest things I had felt since the last time Emily and I had completely been together. Emily smiled slightly as the memory of Panda's part washed all over her. She was stunning in every single way, but her eyes still shone with immanent tears.

"The text I sent you, now this...where are we going?" Emily's far too blatant question knocked me back slightly. I had two answers to pick from, the right answer for me and the completely wrong in so many ways answer. But it was the wrong one I had to pick, I couldn't bear more heartache.

"We...can't do this. It's not fair on three people, Mel, Faith and you Emily." _Damn you Naomi, stop being so damn mature and tell her that she is your only reason. You're everything and that without her nothing fucking makes sense._ "We've got new people in our lives now, people who care about us and I'm sure you'll agree that you wouldn't wish the feeling of heartache on anyone." I tried to smile down at her. I held her for the briefest of moments, held onto the feeling we had just shared, covered myself in the very essence of her. Wiping the tears from her eyes I held her gaze before kissing her gently, her lips smiled against my own.

"If something's meant to be...it will be, right?" She asked as her hands released the grip they had on my side.

"Yea, but we owe it to the two people waiting for us inside to at least try." I didn't even believe myself, I was just too scared of losing her again. I was petrified that I was going to mess it all up, after all I cheated on her to begin with and here I was cheating **with** her. Not the best track record. She didn't say anything just wiped the few remaining tears away and took my hand to start leading us back inside. Not another word was uttered. I made up some lie about queues for the toilets and an annoying bouncer to try and cover up the moment of ecstasy that Emily and I had shared. Faith held my hand tightly under the table and kept winking at me as the little conversation we had left died completely. It was getting late and I just wanted to crawl under my duvet and beat myself in the head with something heavy.

Mel tried to persuade Emily to come back to the room while I tried to persuade Faith that she couldn't. I guess we were both a little warn out and just wanted to sleep, waking up in a world where I wasn't such an idiot and could be with her knowing that I wouldn't screw it up. Thankfully the persuasion paid off and I accompanied Mel back to the room, trying to ignore her rambling on about how frigid Emily had become recently. I was relieved when I shut my bedroom door and she was left moaning to herself.

Left alone with my thoughts once again. All of which focused on Emily, I didn't think I had the strength to forget about tonight. But more importantly I couldn't lie to Faith, she has been nothing but amazing having only one fatal flaw that really was nothing to do with her. But all of the maturity I had shown that evening would be for nothing if I told Faith and she let it slip to Mel. Fuck my life was a complete mess and the only person who could make it all just go away was probably sat in her own room thinking exactly the same as me.

I had no idea what I was going to do.

**Thank you all for reading and please continue to review...also dont get too dis-heartened after all if it's meant to be. It will be!! ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**I have had some very positive feedback!! Thank you all so much I love reading your reviews and had no idea that I would get this far into it. I had some wicked writers block with this chapter however so I'm sorry if it sucks! **

Nothing. A week had passed with no word from Emily, I had only text her once and when I got no reply I couldn't bring myself to try again in case I seemed too forward. I just wanted to know if she was ok. But I guess the fact that Mel had been out with her pretty much every day answered my question for me. I'd seen Faith a handful of times, it was strange how quickly we realised that we knew absolutely nothing about each other. After all except for the first time we'd met we'd only ever gotten together when Emily and Mel were present. So we had spent most of our time over the last week just talking about ourselves. Thankfully we found that we actually had a few things in common. It was nice just being with her, sitting, holding hands, talking. She made me laugh, made me feel wanted and above all for a few brief moments made me forget about Emily. If I was going to move on properly any time soon I needed that.

I decided ultimately that I wasn't going to tell Faith about the thing with Emily, too many repercussions. I'd just keep it locked away inside and remember it as the way Emily and I said goodbye, a final release of all of the feelings we had shared. That it was just a freak moment where we'd both said everything that had remained unsaid for so long. At least that's what I kept telling myself. Faith didn't seem to care much about the history I had with Emily, the fact that she was my first girlfriend and the fact that it was due to Emily that I realised who I was. I guess she was just happy that I was with her. It was nice being trusted so much even if everything was based on a giant lie. The way that Faith had opened up to me so much was alluring. I could sense that she had had a rough past from the way she skirted across the topic of family life and how she hid her eyes whenever I mentioned my mum. I didn't pry, I knew that she would tell me if she wanted to. I guess Emily ignoring me was enabling me to get on with things. All in all it had been a lovely week.

Wednesday 31st October, it's Halloween. I don't care whether it makes me a big kid, I love Halloween. There was a massive uni party in the grounds tonight. I had invited Faith and I was nearly positive that Mel had invited Emily. But I had already decided that it wasn't going to be awkward, after all it was me that had said what happened between us had been a mistake. It was fancy dress and Faith and I were dressing up as sexy pirate wenches, I looked over at the costume led out on my bed. Perfectly ripped fishnet tights, black short shorts, a puffy white t-shirt with an extremely low neckline, a belt that held it all together and a few accessories including a plastic sword, a fluffy parrot and of course a pirate hat. I didn't know what she was going to wear but I was hoping it would be as little as possible.

Emily and Faith were both coming to our room to get dressed before we left for the party where we were meeting Jake and Carly, who I was reliably informed were dressing up as Gomez and Mortisha Adams. It was going to be a right laugh. Mel and I had decided to start drinking stupidly early so by the time our girlfriends arrived we were both a little drunk and stoned and therefore giggling like maniacs. Faith arrived first and I dragged her into an eager kiss before letting her put her clothes in my room.

"You are drunk!" She laughed at me as she pulled me down with her on the sofa. I just chuckled insanely before I was pulled into another kiss as the door opened and Emily walked in. She instinctively bundled her crap into Mel's bedroom before joining me and Mel who were now sat on the floor laughing at nothing in particular.

"Hey, Emily you want a drink?" Faith asked from the kitchen and I couldn't help but smile which I'm sure Faith noticed.

"Yea, great, thanks." Emily replied before leaning in and kissing Mel. I was trying not to notice but I still couldn't take my eyes off of her. And it was for that reason I noticed what came next, Faith and Mel were jabbering on about something I didn't quite understand, but Emily just looked across at me and licked her lips slightly with the same glint in her eye that she had in college. The one I always saw before we spent the rest of the college day wriggling around in my bed. I raised my eyebrows in response before returning my attention to Faith. _Did that just happen?_

I figured now would probably be the best time to go and get dressed for the party considering that the look from Emily had sobered me up slightly and I was sure that my outfit would have an impact. Faith followed me into my room and took her outfit from the bag, it was similar to what I was wearing but topped off with some annoyingly gorgeous knee high leather boots. I was almost speechless, looking her up and down as she took my hand and led me out into the living area. I was faced with Mel who was dressed as Lock from Nightmare before Christmas and Emily who was dressed as a 'bad' fairy. Black ripped tights, a very short black dress that angled far too neatly down towards her chest and some black fair wings. I was completely speechless but tried to hide it as we made our way down towards the sports hall. Emily and I lagged behind a little as I helped her to re-tie the ribbon on the back of her dress.

"You look ravishing by the way." Emily whispered as she walked past me and took Mel's hand causing Faith to drop back towards me. Faith took my arm, I was grateful just for the stability as I was still rocking from the beer. The few people that were just standing around seemed to stare at us as we arrived. I noticed Jake and Carly stood over by the stage and started manoeuvring in their direction. Unfortunately as I glanced back I noticed Emily being dragged towards a group of Mel's leering guy friends.

"Hey guys." Faith regained my attention by squeezing my hand, I looked over to the Adam's family and smiled.

"Hey Naomi, you ok?" Jake asked; I was a little too drunk to respond properly so I nodded briefly before pulling Faith onto the dance floor. It was a slow song and I felt a little self confident at the fact that most of the guys in the building were staring at us. As we danced I managed to swerve around and look over in Emily's direction, she looked so bored and uncomfortable.

"I need the loo, be back in a mo." I smiled a little at Faith before disappearing into the crowds of people. Completely by coincidence Emily seemed to be on my way to the bog but unfortunately Mel noticed me and pulled me into their lame conversation about what turns on women. I suddenly realised why she was so friendly with them but I could also feel the tension coming off of Emily.

"Naoms, got anything to add?" Mel looked over at me and I felt the gaze of five pairs of male eyes as I reached through my brain for an answer.

"Well what really turns me on is spontaneity...excuse me." As I turned to walk away I leant a hand lightly on Emily's arm and grinned to myself as I could almost feel her shudder. Stumbling into the toilet I found that there was only one booth. It seemed stupid but I was glad that it was empty. As I was about to walk in I was shoved from behind. I fell and ended up sitting on the thankfully closed toilet seat looking up just in time to see Emily lock the door and straddle my legs with her own. Our lips met and my hands melted into her back to stop her falling.

"I can't stand it." She whispered between passionate kisses. I found my tongue making its way down her neck and across her chest before I could stop myself. I did stop however when I saw the vague outline of the love bite I had given her the previous week.

"How did you explain that?" She just smiled down at me. I was lost instantly. I continued kissing over her superbly soft skin and my left hand was softly moving up her thigh. She moaned slightly and my lips encased hers again to silence it. _Why am I letting this happen? _I stopped and ended up pushing her hair out of her face and encouraging her eyes to meet mine. She cupped my face lightly with her hands and pulled me in for another kiss, this time soft and slow and filled with emotion. It was breathtaking. A brief moment later and she was gone, without a word. Her touch still on my skin and her kiss still on my lips and every second replaying through my brain. She was playing with me, the fucking bitch was playing with me. Part of me thought that she knew how I was feeling, part of me realised that she dressed like she had for me. She still ached for me as much as I did for her.

I almost hated her for the way she made me feel every time I saw her and as I walked back out into the hall, there she was draped over Mel as if nothing had happened, smirking at the oblivious expression I was sure my face held. I wanted to kiss the smirk away and she knew it. Instead I just kind of scowled at her and walked over to Faith and Jake. _Way to be mature. _

"Where's Carly?" Faith seemed to jump back into me slightly as I spoke. Jake however just shrugged slightly. I took his hand and bundled him towards the bar, Faith looked a little dumbstruck but I don't think I could handle her just yet. I needed a distraction from the large grin I had on my face as a result of toilet time with Emily. Four shots later and I was buzzing merrily again and almost didn't notice as Faith's arms wrapped themselves around me. I was far too drunk to pull away now and found myself craving nicotine.

"I'm going for a smoke!" I had to yell slightly to beat the music. But she nodded and let me go as once again I pulled Jake with me, he was mashed so couldn't complain either. As soon as the cold autumn air hit me so did the reality of the whole situation. Jake lit up a spliff which I immediately stole and took a long drag allowing the smoke to roll all around me. It felt so very good and had an instant calming effect. I blew the smoke up into the air and instantl took another drag, Jake didn't seem to mind as he had somehow produced another joint. He was so easy when he was 'mellowed out' and I loved him for it. We smoked in silence for a bit until I felt like I just needed to open up to someone, not that he would be much help.

"What would you do if you loved someone but were in a relationship with someone else and somehow you kept getting into certain situations with this person where you did things that you couldn't stop yourself doing but felt amazing?" The words just poured out of me, I couldn't stop them and was somewhat comforted by the fact that in our current conditions the likelihood of either of us remembering this conversation was slim.

"I dunno, maybe your only having fun with this other someone coz it's not allowed. It's an affair." However much I loved him he was far too deep when he was fucked.

"I just don't know anymore, I guess I'm just scared that I'm going to end up hurting someone no matter how I play it." I smiled over at him and took another drag.

"Unless you keep doing what you're doing...a sordid affair is always fun." He laughed out the lung full of smoke and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Look, babe, if you're having fun then what's the big deal?" I found myself being pulled into his shoulder and found it remarkably comfortable. He was an idiot sometimes but he was still a really good friend.

"The big deal is I've only ever had two girlfriends in my life and I've cheated on them both." I felt a tear start to run down my cheek which he expertly and without much effort rubbed away with his sleeve.

"Did it feel like a mistake?" His eyes pierced into mine.

"The first time I immediately knew it was a complete mistake but this time...no, it just feels like it's supposed to be, you know?" I couldn't breathe at the admission that escaped my lips.

"Then you've got your answer right?" At that moment I hated him, he made so much sense but it hadn't answered my question. It had just made everything so much more difficult. Letting Emily be happy meant that I was going to end up miserable and that was just something that I was going to have to get used to.

"You still haven't told me what you would do?" I smiled back up into his eyes and smoked down the rest of the spliff.

"I'd keep going until I knew for certain what needed to be done and if that meant having awesome sex with two beautiful women then I guess it would be awful." He kissed me lightly on the cheek before returning inside. Goosebumps trailed up and down all of my exposed skin and I shivered slightly against the cold. Even in my happy drunken state a million things whirled around my head. Would it be really selfish of me to continue dating Faith knowing that every time Emily and I were alone something magical would almost certainly happen. I hated choices, especially ones where no matter how I played it someone was going to get hurt. I put my head in my freezing cold hands and continued to think. A whole week and I was still no closer to what I was going to do, suddenly Jake's 'play it by ear' advice seemed pretty good. No one had to get hurt if I was discrete about it, did they? _I'm a selfish idiot for even thinking about it. _

Sitting out in the bitter night air wasn't doing me any good at all so I wandered back into the hall where everything was slowly winding down and everyone was making their way back to their rooms. Faith, Mel and Emily were all over by the bar and I decided that was an incredibly good idea. I downed a couple more shots of god knows what and figured that I would go back to the room where at least the alcohol was free.

"I'm going to head back, we've still got some booze in the fridge so I figure it's better than paying for it!" I smiled over at Mel who nodded in concurrence taking Emily's hand and started out towards our room. Emily took my hand throwing me a 'who's going to care we're drunk' look as her fingers laced between mine. Faith in turn took my other hand and we headed back to the room in a giant lesbian chain. Emily occasionally looked over at me and smiled gently, knowing full well that I was stupidly nervous and my hand was sweating like crazy. Her thumb moved teasingly over my skin, every move against me made my skin blaze with an uncomfortable heat. I kept taking deep breaths as I tried not to let it bother me.

It was just gone two in the morning when we all stumbled back into the room and I immediately made my way over to fridge, admittedly not in a straight line, and fumbled out four beers. Emily helped me open them in silence, each chance for our hands to meet she took, she was teasing me, seeing how far she could push me before I jumped her and made sweet love to her in front of our girlfriends on the kitchen counter. I kept telling myself that I was a stronger, more mature Naomi. It wasn't working.

Faith looked rather tired when Emily and I finally turned back to them. Mel took a beer lovingly from Emily and I tried to prop Faith up using my shoulder so I could sit down. It didn't work so I settled down on the floor and started demolishing the two beers that I had left. Mel and Emily just seemed to laugh at me.

"Someone fancy helping me get old sleeping beauty into my room?" I asked openly.

"To be honest babes I don't think I can move without falling over right now, are you ok to help Ems?" Mel looked over at her girlfriend who seemed all too happy to help. I took her arms and Emily sort of fell over her legs a few times as we practically dragged her into my bed.

"So this is your room?" Emily started looking around, she had done the exact same thing when she was allowed into my old room at home.

"Yep. This is my pit as mum would call it." Emily appreciated the joke with a little chuckle before turning back around to face me.

"Oh and by the way, you are so going to pay for tonight." I purposefully elongated the word so and gave her my best sexy grin before walking over to her and giving her a quick yet passionate kiss. She opened her lips slowly to let my tongue in and the kiss deepened for a few brief moments before I pulled away this time. I headed back into the living area where we had left Mel who had taken the moment alone to completely pass out. I felt Emily's fingers caress slowly up and down my back and I heard her slow intake of breath before she spoke.

"So...what do we do now?"

**I just love my cliffhanger endings!! :D and good news for everyone who is enjoying my work there are a few more chapters of this one left and I am already planning the sequel! And again a giant thanks to everyone who stuck with the story through the lack of Naomilly action. **

**Once again please review it makes my day!! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter kinda flowed in a different way to what I was expecting but still, hope it is vaguely enjoyable. The next chapter is well on the way and should be up tomorrow! A big thank you to everyone reading and reviewing you all make my day! :D**

So I was knee deep into a sordid affair with my ex girlfriend who I was also still madly in love with, but I would be lying if I said I didn't love it. The sneaking around, the silent glances and the hidden smiles were all driving me crazy. I couldn't sit still when I was around Emily and I was making every excuse in the book to get her by herself. Surely cheating on your girlfriend shouldn't feel this good, there were still a few moments when the guilt of the whole situation hit me but it was easily stopped by a text or a smirk from Emily. I hated the way that she could turn me on so much without even touching me, a glance here, a smile there and I was completely gone. It had been going on for six weeks and I was still surprised that we hadn't been caught.

Rolling over in my bed I noticed the light that was beginning to float in through the small crack in my curtains and my head instantly began to throb. I wriggled a little before I remembered the girl sleeping beside me and decided I probably shouldn't wake her just yet. Faith was incredibly cranky in the mornings, especially on a Sunday. As gently as was physically possible considering my incredibly hung over state I clambered out of my bed and grabbed some clothes and my phone. Two missed texts so I slid it open and tried to focus on the screen.

_Mel: Hey, missed you tonight...sorry if Ems and I keep you up! :D_

_Emily: I think we should talk. You know the place - 1pm. _

That wasn't particularly what I wanted to wake up to, she was getting cold feet about the whole cheating thing. I wasn't sure I blamed her after all she knew exactly what it was like to be on the other end of it all. I closed my eyes tightly and mentally yelled at my own brain for once again reading too much into a simple fucking text. 'The place' was a bandstand just outside of the university grounds we had met there a few times when we couldn't stand it any longer. It had become our little sanctuary away from everything somewhere where we could escape whenever we wanted to. But I had a feeling the trip I was taking today was for a different reason.

Wandering out into the kitchen I noticed that Mel was busying herself making breakfast, was Emily in her room or had she already gone? I wasn't sure which was worse on one hand did I want her to be that exhausted after sex, on the other if she'd already left it meant that she was thinking over what she wanted to talk to me about. It was a complete lose/lose situation but I needed to know.

"Breakfast for one?" Mel seemed to jump slightly in response to my voice.

"Yea, unless you want some? Emily ran off earlier this morning after looking at her phone." Mel seemed slightly disappointed at the fact that whenever Emily stayed the night she seemed to disappear early. In that very moment I realised that Mel had some serious feelings for Emily, for the moments Emily and I were together I could forget the fact that it affected more than just us.

"Yea, would be nice if there is some going, thanks babe." I had no idea why I was still trying desperately to be quiet if the pots and pans rattling didn't wake Faith up I guessed my voice wouldn't either. In no time at all Mel had dished up some scrambled egg on toast and we ate in silence. I could sense that she was upset and couldn't think of anything to say that didn't involve Emily. I felt like I had taken candy from the baby, eaten the candy and given the baby back the empty packet. I had to make it right.

"Look, I've got somewhere to be, if Faith wakes up tell her I'll be back later if she wants to hang around." With that I all but ran out of the door towards something and someone that I didn't really want to face but my brain told me I had to.

I took the scenic route to the bandstand, through the park. The air was freezing and I was starting to regret not taking a few extra minutes to find a coat. Every breath I took melted the air around me and I stuffed my hands in my pockets to stop them turning the bright shade of pink that sets in with cold. My teeth chattered automatically and the few small tears that were already building in my eyes started to sting with the bitter wind. I hated winter. Rounding the final corner I shrunk back into myself as I noticed her flowing red hair moving slightly in the winter breeze. Emily was sat down on the steps waiting for me looking a lot warmer than I was, she hugged her knees tightly into herself and rested her chin elegantly on her arms. I just stood there in silence for a few moments taking it all in, the guilt, the pain but most importantly how wonderful the past few weeks had been. I wondered to myself how selfish that sounded and quickly found that I didn't care much. I took the few small steps towards her and sat down close enough to feel the warmth resonate off her body. The sweet smell of weed met my nostrils as she handed me the spliff I hadn't noticed. Taking it gratefully I took a long drag and allowed the smoke to flow effortlessly through my body, a few small draws later I handed it back to Emily and waited patiently for her to speak.

"You're early." I didn't have to wait long. She turned to face me and I flinched against meeting her eyes.

"Yea, did you expect anything less?" I saw Emily smile a little before finishing off the spliff and flicking it into the bushes to our left.

"No, you always did come a little early." I felt my mouth gape with shock at the blatant sex remark and immediately we were both creased with laughter. It seemed like the calm before the storm as silence descended quickly.

"Ems, I think I know why we're here." I took her hand in mine as some sort of comfort against whatever was about to happen, she didn't speak, she didn't pull away, she just looked up at me with pain filled eyes. We understood each other instantly.

"I know you Ems, you can't bear to hurt anyone, let alone someone who cares about you. We've been lying to ourselves with this whole thing and it's got too out of hand. I can't stand seeing you like this so I guess that's why however much it hurts, I've got to stop this. We've got to stop this." I squeezed her hand so gently I was afraid she wouldn't feel it but as her tear filled eyes met mine I knew she had.

"Naoms...thank you." I wasn't sure exactly what she was thanking me for I was too busy fighting back all the emotions screaming around in my head. Our reconnection however brief was going to stay with me forever and I took immense comfort at the fact that Emily didn't hate me. In fact the opposite, she still liked me, I was glad I can't imagine my future without her in it somehow. If the six weeks we had spent messing around was good for nothing else, it reaffirmed my feelings that no matter how I felt for Emily, her happiness was the most important thing. I don't think it hurt as much as I thought it would but maybe I was just numb from the weather.

We just sat there freezing our tits off for what seemed like an eternity, neither of us really wanted to let go and I guess each of us was hoping the other would make the first move. I stood up and dragged Emily to her feet holding her in my arms for as long as I could without crying. It felt like our final goodbye, when I said that no matter how I played this situation someone was going to get hurt...I didn't think that someone would be me. _Fuck sake Naomi you giant pathetic lump of shit, pull yourself together. So you're still in love with Emily, you don't trust yourself not to hurt her so you'll always be scared, you will always run!!! _

I dropped one final kiss onto her forehead, smoothed the hair out of her face and as my eyes started dissolving into hers I turned and started to walk away.

"It's all fucked Ems, but Mel really cares for you, promise you'll be happy!" I shouted, turning back momentarily in time to see her nod and almost force a smile. I took one deep breath and began making my way back to university. I didn't cry...I couldn't, if I got going I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop. Instead I smiled, I thought about the strength that we had both shown in saying goodbye. I thought about how even after all this time Emily still helped me to do the right thing; it wasn't only me that showed maturity in the situation. It was the one moment that made me see just how much the last year had changed us, she was no longer scared little Emily Fitch hiding in her twins shadow. She was sure of herself and so clued in to everything, it was endearing to see how much she had opened up. And I was no longer the Naomi completely emotionless and afraid of letting anyone in. We had both grown up immensely and even though I'm sure my heart was never going to recover from this, I took happiness from the strength that came hand in hand with doing the right thing. And it was then that I knew what I needed to do.

It didn't take me long to get back to the room and as I fumbled through my pockets for the key I managed to finally make my way inside. Mel was nowhere to be seen but there was a roughly scribbled note lying on the coffee table.

'Faith/Naoms, Got bored so have gone to actually do some work. Naoms...Faith hadn't left before I did and Faith...Naoms will be back soon! Much loves. Mel xx'

She was such an idiot but she was an awesome friend, almost like a sister. I figured the fact that the note was still here meant that so was Faith. Breathing deeply I made my way into my room and sure enough Faith was still sat in my bed reading one of my politics books with a lit fag hanging out of her lips.

"Took your time, I considered actually getting up!" She smiled at me which made what I was about to do so much harder.

"Yea, um...can we talk for a sec?" Her smile immediately faded and she stubbed out her half smoked cigarette in the ash tray by my bed. She didn't say anything though, she just sat there waiting for me, and so I sat on the end of my bed facing away from her. This was going to be tough but it **was **the right thing to do.

"Look, I've been doing some thinking and I, uh... really, don't see this working. I'm only just figuring out who I am and I don't think I can be with anyone right now. I just need some time by myself to do some thinking. And I'm sorry it had taken me this long to realise it, but I need you to know that even though it's a cliché...it's not you, it's completely me." I let out the breath I had been holding and let a few solemn tears flow down my cheek.

"You're fucking kidding me?" Her harsh tone wasn't a surprise I don't know why I expected anything else.

"No, part of me wishes I was because you're an amazing girl, but I'm not kidding. I just need to be alone and I can't do that with a girlfriend. I'm sorry." The apology just crept out, I knew it was like poking a bear with a stick and regretted it instantly.

"You're fucking sorry? That's all you can think of to say? You're sorry, you leave me lying in your bed for the entire morning and you come back from wherever the fuck you went and have the nerve to break up with me and let me know that's it's all fucking rosy coz you're SORRY!?" She was screaming at me and I think the fact that I didn't show any signs of remorse made the whole situation so much worse.

"Are you just going to sit there staring at the door? You're not even going to **try **and talk things through with me? Fuck Naomi!" She was grabbing all of her clothes and just bellowing at the top of her lungs. I deserved it, but it was means to an end, I couldn't be with her knowing what I had done and I couldn't tell her what I had done because it would all come out into the open and Emily would lose Mel. It was all going to shit.

"I can't think of anything to say, I just can't be with anyone right now...I need to figure out what I'm going to do before I can ever really throw myself into a relationship. I just hate that it has taken me this long to realise that." Her face was red with anger and tears were streaming down her face in that moment I hated myself.

"Well fucking great, just don't expect me to be around after you find yourself you fucking bitch!" Faith was just looking at me and I was so uncomfortable I could have died on the spot, she was steaming.

"Anything else you want to fucking apologise for?" Her words cut through me like a knife and even though there was, it wasn't something that I could never admit to her. I didn't have any more words left to say so I just shook my head as I looked into her tear filled eyes. She began to leave to before spinning on her heels and within an instant her fist plunged into my face a few times.

"Fuck you!" She yelled as she left me in a bleeding heap on the floor, as I heard the outside door slam I clutched my face which I could already feel swelling. I wiped the blood away from my lip and could already feel the beginning of a bruise appearing beneath my left eye. I probably deserved it, and it was a little reassuring to know that I wasn't completely numb, I could still feel something. And right now that something needed ice.

**I so hated breaking them up AGAIN but it seemed to fit, but I promise the next chapter will leave you with a giant smile on your face! Once again please review! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**The response from the last chapter was incredible and my what a demanding bunch you are! Ok so I couldnt stop writing this chapter so it's going up earlier than I expected which is probably a good thing! :D Enjoy...**

I didn't want anyone to see me like this with a very black eye and a split lip. So I had spent the past four days cooped up in my room only leaving when I was sure that Mel wasn't around so I could use to loo. I knew that seeing my face would provoke a number of questions, all of which would be better if they remained unanswered. Every time someone barged into my room I just pretended to be asleep as if I was suffering from flu or something. So far so good. The only person who I had actually engaged in conversation was Jake; he kept me up to speed with the work I was missing so that I didn't fall too far behind. I think I trusted him, that and I had threatened to kill him if he told anyone about what I was really hiding.

The bruise had subsided slightly but the cut on my lip was as prominent as ever, it didn't really hurt anymore but was still annoyingly obvious. Thursday morning so Mel will be at a lecture I think I am safe to go and get a drink. Bundling my way out of my room I waited momentarily for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the kitchen area due to the fact that I had been living in closed curtain darkness. The light didn't help the headache that had been in my brain ever since my face got smashed in. I groaned slightly, it didn't help the pain at all but it made me feel a little better about it. _Where are the fucking pain killers? _If there was something that I hated more than having a headache it was not being able to find something to combat it.

Eventually after several swear words and half a cigarette I managed to find some nurofen which I swallowed without bothering to wash it down with some water. Immediately I realised it was a mistake as the disgusting taste melted into my tongue, it tasted like a mixture of metal and sand. Something I could have really done without, so I poured myself some orange juice and settled down on the sofa for a brief moment while I sipped it gently trying to make sure the acid didn't burn into the cut on my lip. After taking a few swigs from the glass I polished off the fag and stubbed it out in the ash tray on the coffee table. Nurofen and a fag I can't think of a better way to attempt to get rid of a headache. I was completely relaxed so I returned to the cabbage-like state that I had been in for the past few days.

"Long time no see." _Shit I had nodded off._ Mel was wandering around making herself something to eat so I don't think she had seen the state of me.

"Yea not been feeling too well, should probably go back to bed." I gulped down the remaining orange juice and the pain erupted on my lip. Wincing I got up and placed my cup quickly into the sink before attempting to escape before Mel had a good look at me.

"So, you going to tell me what happened to your face?" I stopped mid step and shuffled around to face a rather concerned looking Mel. I looked firmly at my feet for a few seconds whilst I decided whether to tell her the truth or to make up some weird lie about falling repeatedly into something. I decided the truth was probably the way forward.

"I broke it off with Faith and she wasn't too happy so she took all her anger out on my face." I looked up at Mel who was suddenly closer to me than I had remembered. She shook her head a few times before pulling me in for one of her rib breaking hugs. I felt as though my head was going to explode so I managed to pull away slightly and make my way over to the sofa to collapsing in a small heap. Mel seemed to follow me, completely forgetting about whatever it was she was trying to cook. It took a few seconds for the silence to be broken.

"Why did you break up with her, you both seemed so good together." Mel looked towards me and I stumbled over a few words before coming up with an appropriate twist of the truth.

"I decided that it would be better if I wasn't with anyone at the moment, after all I'm still discovering who I am. I didn't think it was fair to keep dragging Faith along, but I guess she didn't see it that way." I managed a smile which Mel quickly reciprocated before running to the kitchen to calm a boiling over pot of something. She didn't bother dishing anything up she just kind of threw it into the sink before returning to our conversation, this time sitting in the chair opposite where I was perched on the sofa.

"That's bollocks!" Two words that I was in no way expecting caused me to look up at her with an entirely confused look upon my face. I needed clarification.

"Sorry?" I was still looking into her eyes just to make sure I didn't miss anything and have to ask her to repeat it again.

"I said...that's bollocks! It's got nothing to do with you wanting to be alone; it's Emily, isn't it?" I was totally dumbfounded was it possible to hide anything from Mel? I found myself suddenly unable to speak so I just sat there waiting for the oncoming anger about me still not being over the person that Mel was currently dating.

"Look, Naoms...you would have to be blind and pretty stupid not to notice the tension between the two of you. The way you can't help but smile every time Emily looks at you. The way that you're both so much happier when you are together. I'm not an idiot babes." It wasn't anger in her voice, it seemed like a mixture of concern and complete understanding, I was expecting her to add a few bruises of her own to my complexion but she didn't. In fact she was smiling at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I didn't much like the question, it meant that I had to answer and it was probably time that I started telling her the truth considering it seemed she could read me like an open book.

"I, uh...didn't say anything because you both seemed happy. I guess that's all I ever wanted for Ems, her happiness and if I was no longer able to give her that happiness then I took comfort in the fact that she was with someone that I was really close to and knew was a good person." I hadn't taken my eyes away from Mel's so I noticed the slight smile that escaped her. But I still had no idea why the hell she was smiling. Here I was declaring my undying love for her girlfriend and she didn't flinch, it was slightly disconcerting.

"You're a twat, you know that?" Even Mel's insult wasn't remotely insulting, it was almost funny, I was completely and utterly baffled. So thankfully Mel continued.

"Through all of your maturity did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, Emily would only ever be truly happy if she was with you?" There was a faint hint of laughter in Mel's voice and I still couldn't believe that she was being so collected about all of this.

"No, I guess I just didn't trust myself not to hurt her again." The sentence escaped my lips before I realised what I was saying. Mel was still staring at me with that awkward understanding in her eyes, it was like she knew exactly what I was going to say before I even thought of it myself.

"You do realise that it's Emily that needs to trust you, the trust in yourself will come with time. And besides if you did get back together you have something you didn't have last time." She had gotten up off of the chair and had sat herself down next to me, legs touching and her hand resting lightly on my knee. I just looked up at her with what I presumed was a renewed strength in my eyes.

"What's that?" I didn't want to suggest that I was trying to steal Emily away but I was curious as to what Mel had meant.

"Me..." I returned to my confused look before she continued. "...kicking your sorry blonde arse if you ever remotely hurt her, she is an amazing girl and you're right she deserves happiness but hows-about we let me stand aside. Let me get out of the way of obvious soul mates, personally I think you're an idiot for not doing anything before now. I would have already jumped her." Mel just laughed, her contagious laugh and soon we were both holding our sides whilst tears streamed down our cheeks. But then it hit me, I had jumped her, I had been with her while she was still with Mel, I needed to come clean.

"I slept with her while she was with you." The laughing stopped and Mel's eyes returned fixedly on mine. _Here comes the anger. _

"Duh, I know...please, I told you I'm not an idiot no one takes half an hour to smoke a cigarette, I think there may have been a little part of me that was hoping it would all just blow over and you could both be happy. But Naoms, you're a prick, was it really obvious to everyone but you that you're all Emily wants?" I started recalling all the time Emily and I had spent with our respective girlfriends and I began to see all the glances and all the smiles meant more than I allowed myself to see.

"Yea, guess I didn't want to fill myself with hope." Mel just smiled at me.

"So instead you filled yourself with Faith?" It didn't take long for us to both be bent double in laughter yet again, I don't think I could have loved Mel any more than I did right at this moment.

"That's disgusting." I managed through bursts of laughter. Eventually as the happy tears subsided we were faced with one simple question which I couldn't help but ask.

"So, what happens now?" Mel got up and grabbed us both a beer from the fridge, the ice cold liquid felt like heaven against my lip.

"I'd arranged to meet Emily in the park at three, which is an hour away. Now I'm not going, in fact dead on three o'clock I'm going to send Emily a text message to break up with her. So it's up to you to be there and pick up the pieces." I found tears sting my eyes again, but this time not through laughter or sadness, but through utter elation at how understanding and completely amazing Mel was.

"Why would you do that?" I babbled.

"Because you're my best friend, shit Naoms I have never had a friend like you and I guess I like playing cupid, I like giving what is so bloody obviously meant to be a good shove in the right direction." She hugged me tightly, this time I couldn't care less how many of my ribs broke because my heart was so full I didn't think it would matter. I almost didn't want to let go but that choice was made for me as Mel pulled away and shouted something about me only having an hour to get ready for the rest of my life. I sat completely dumbstruck for a few moments just holding onto her hand so securely that I thought I would break it. She punched me playfully in the arm before dragging me into my bedroom and helping me pick and outfit that would 'rock Emily's socks off!' _Her words not mine. _

The next twenty minutes flew by in a blur of utter joy. Mel had finally settled on a combination of my white skinny jeans and a red vest top that exclaimed "Problem?" in giant shiny lettering. My white Doc Martins, white scarf and a black jacket so I didn't die of hypothermia completed my 'sexy' outfit. It was roughly half past two when she was shoving me out of the door. She could be so pushy sometimes but at that moment I was so very glad she was. The park wasn't a long walk away but it would take a good fifteen to twenty minutes so I should have a few seconds to plan what the hell I was going to say. The fact that my entire life rested on what I was going to say to Emily hit me hard and I faltered slightly and stumbled a little to regain my balance. I caught my reflection in a glass window and cringed at the fact that even with Mel doing my makeup the bruise and cut were still far too obvious. I fluffed up my hair slightly in an attempt to hide my black eye before hurrying on towards the cafe in the park.

Glancing down at my watch, ten minutes to three, I found myself wondering whether this had all been a hoax and some of Mel's nearest and dearest were about to jump out and beat the crap out of me. Looking around nervously I sat down on a bench about twenty meters away from the cafe. Wrapping my scarf carefully around my neck I was staring almost too intensely towards the meeting place so I didn't miss the arrival of a certain red-head I was hoping beyond hope would actually show up. Within five minutes of waiting my prayers were answered and a rather gorgeous looking Emily Fitch parked up her scooter and got herself a drink. I waited, figured I would let her receive the text first. I worked out that it had taken her approximately forty seconds to get from her scooter to the bar. _Plenty of time_.

I was staring at the second hand on my watch urging it to go faster which I knew was stupid but guessed that there was no harm in trying. I was filled with the steady buzz of excitement as it neared three minutes to three, carefully I got out a cigarette and took a few long steady drags to try and calm the incessant shaking that had overcome my body. I found a countdown begin in my head and flicked my fag into the nearest bush after stubbing it out on the sole of my boot. My eyes didn't move from Emily, I kept telling myself that a million things could go wrong with this plan. The most prominent of which was Mel turning up and them both laughing at me, I hoped I was wrong.

It was then my heart leapt into the back of my throat, Emily wriggled slightly as I assume her phone vibrated. _Shit, shit, shittedy, shit, shit, shit! _Trying to drown out the voice in my own head I attempted to gage Emily's reaction, she seemed to stare at her phone for a long time but eventually she put it away and downed the rest of her drink before collecting her bag and starting to make her way back to the scooter. She had her back to me and even though I thought I was going to be frozen with fear it was remarkably easy for me to get up and close the gap between us to about ten meters. What did I do now? A million things flashed through my brain and I knew I didn't have long to make a decision, Emily was always a little annoyed that I didn't like PDA, glancing over once again at the cafe I counted maybe twenty or so people. _Perfect. _I took one deep breath.

"Emily Fitch I fucking love you!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs for once in my life I couldn't care less about the number of eyes that must have flicked in my direction. There was only one pair of deep brown perfectly sparkling eyes that I cared about. But she hadn't turned around, she had just stopped dead. _Try again you twat!_

"I know I messed everything up but I've never stopped loving you, I need you so much." Still she didn't turn around, I become conscious of the fact that my eyes were streaming with tears and it seemed so was the sky as heavy rain began to encase me.

"I'm not scared anymore! I know who I am and I am nothing without you!" I was still shouting, all of the emotion I had in me, every single ounce of strength, every inch of my heart and soul was pleading with her to turn around. I was drenched, head to toe covered in the rain that mirrored my tears. I looked up into the sky and closed my eyes. _One last shot._

"I love you more than life, more than the fucking universe, more than anything and I don't think I could stand losing you again!" I grimaced slightly as the rain began beating down harder on my bruises and cut but I didn't care about anything. I tilted my head forwards and was totally afraid of opening my eyes in case she wasn't there. So I just stood there with my eyes tightly shut, in the pouring rain wanting nothing more than a hand to touch me and tell me everything was going to be alright. Every second that passed seemed like forever and every breath I took felt like it was going to be my last.

"Why are you still shouting?" My eyes clicked open and found themselves gazing into the deep chestnut, mascara running eyes of my one true love. Her quiet voice only just clear above the beating rain.

"You came back." Three words were all I could manage as her hands took mine and pulled me in closer.

"I came back three months ago. It's always been you, you fucking idiot." I brushed the now soaking hair out of her tear flooded face and pulled her chin up towards me. Leaning in ever so slightly until I could feel her warm breath against my lips. We held each other there for a few heart wrenching moments before I couldn't stand it any longer. Our lips finally met and fireworks exploded through my brain, stars crossed in my vision and the kiss deepened. Tongues, hearts and souls reconnecting after an agonising wait.

We stayed in that moment for almost an eternity, completely intertwined. Everything laid out on the line and nothing remaining unsaid, we kissed completely honestly for what seemed like hours. Before I finally pulled away and pinched myself slightly to make absolutely sure I wasn't dreaming. Emily's smile was breathtaking and all I wanted to do was stay in this moment forever. I didn't care that my lip was stinging like a bitch, I didn't care that my head was throbbing so much I feared it could at any time actually go pop. All I cared about was how perfectly Emily's hands fit into my own and even though her perfect smile had been taken over by obvious worry at the state of my face all I could do was grin and say five annoyingly non-specific words.

"I've always loved the rain!"

**So...yeah! Guess this chapter is your reward for sticking with my story! :D A huge thank you to everyone reviewing, without you I probably wouldn't have continued much past chapter 3! :D Keep reviewing and there is more to come! **


	14. Chapter 14

**So this chapter was actually quite tough to write...I wanted to make sure I got the right feelings in there! Hopefully it is enjoyable and fulfills expectations! :D**

I was soaked and the rain didn't look like stopping. My clothes, which were so lovingly picked out for me, were drenched and I had a funny feeling that even my bones were starting to shiver against the cold. But the only things I could feel were Emily's hands in mine and her gaze locked towards my eyes. I was searching in all directions for something to say to her, something that would let her know just how much I loved her, but how can you put something so...magical into words? How can you tell someone that they make you quiver all over just by the faintest touch, or, every time your eyes are drawn towards them your heart beats that little bit faster? How are you supposed to tell someone that they really do mean everything to you? There was nothing I could say that would even come close to how I was feeling, so I decided to say absolutely nothing and just stare into Emily's beautiful eyes for as long as possible.

"What happened?" her hand reached up and her fingertips moved ever so gently over the bruise I had been trying to hide. I could feel the worry resonate from her voice and even from her touch. My seventeen year old self that was hiding somewhere inside of me was yelling to just drag her away somewhere and take full advantage of having her back. But I was older now and I was going to make sure that I was never afraid or worried about talking to her. She was my life and I certainly wasn't going to avoid letting her in.

"I broke up with Faith and she took it worse than I thought she was going to." I smiled down at her trying in some small part to let her know that I didn't care about the past, that all I cared about right now was her. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine, softly and precisely over the cut that I had completely forgotten about.

"She just got a little angry and punched me a few times. It's really no big deal" I whispered against her lips before she pulled away and scowled up at me.

"Fuck, Naoms...it's not ok! She punched you..." I could feel the anger rise up in Emily and I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly turned on by it. The amusement must have showed in my face because Emily gave me a look that told me I was in trouble. Where Emily was concerned I think I liked being in trouble.

"Ems, it's nothing, honestly I'm fine and all I really care about right now is getting you out of the rain and into something a little more comfortable." I couldn't hold in the massive grin that had spread across my face and thankfully Emily didn't seem to care much. She let go of the whole me being punched thing and wrapped her fingers through my own and started leading me to her scooter.

"Where are we going?" I squealed after her, I didn't really care where we were going; the only thing I cared about was Emily and how after months and months without her I knew that I would never let her go again.

"We're going back to mine." I stopped and she jolted back towards me when I didn't let go of her hand, she must have sensed the angst in me about going back to her house. The house that contained her mother and twin sister, both of which I'm absolutely positive would kill me at the next available opportunity.

"Relax would you, mum's gone to visit her parents with Jamie and won't be back until Monday and Katie is staying with some guy she met a few months back. You're perfectly safe and besides we've never actually...you know...done anything at my house. I thought it would be nice as our first time actually properly back together." I melted at her smile, it meant more than any words and I found myself being comforted by strength that I had never seen in Emily before. I didn't say anything else, just kissed her swiftly before hopping onto the back of her scooter and wrapping my arms tightly around her waist. She smiled gorgeously back at me before putting on her helmet, kicking the scooter into gear and starting the, thankfully not too long, journey back to hers.

Pulling up outside the familiar Fitch house that contained a few not so enjoyable memories I was hit with a sudden wave of uncertainty. I'd only ever been alone with Emily in her room a few times, never for more than a few moments as we were generally joined by Katie making absolutely sure that it was homework we were doing.

"Are you going to just sit there or are you actually going to come inside?" I was snapped out of my trip down memory lane as Emily yelled at me from the doorstep. I attached my helmet to the front of her scooter and ran towards her and in out of the rain. As soon as the door was shut behind me I found myself being pushed up against it as Emily's lips met my own. It was a passionate kiss that meant so much more was to come. My heart felt like it was going to burst as the kiss deepened and Emily's hands brushed my jacket and scarf to the floor, her mouth and tongue made their way down my neck and then up towards my ear. I found that I was tilting my head back and giving her the room she needed, her lips felt so good against my skin. She pulled away momentarily and my hands busied themselves removing her of all immediate items of clothing until she was just in her shirt and jeans the same as me. She took my hand and started leading me upstairs.

As the door to her room opened I was shocked to notice that it looked like Katie had been gone for quite a while as where once had stood two single beds was now inhabited by a double bed with a leather headboard. The posters of Emily's that had once been all scrunched up were now spaced out lovingly along the walls and I couldn't help but cringe slightly as I noticed a photo of us back in college. Emily must have noticed.

"I kept it because I always wanted to remember the good times we had shared." I pulled her in towards me and placed my hands on her cheeks before kissing her gently.

"You don't need to explain, I took a photo of us to uni, guess I didn't want to let you go." Her hands made their way agonisingly down my back and up underneath my shirt. Her eyes were just delving into mine, making their way into my soul and I let them. I wanted her to be close to every part of me, I had never had such a comfortable silence.

"Maybe we should have another one of those 'good times'..." her lips smiled back against mine before she kissed me hungrily and pulled me down onto her new bed. We had a brief fight to be on top which I eventually won and ended up pinning her arms gently above her head. I managed to manoeuvre one of my hands free and when she had stopped wriggling I moved my other hand down and removed her of her top. She drew me in for another kiss, this time our lips parted allowing our tongues to explore. The kiss seemed to last forever until I pulled back slightly allowing my lips to slowly move down her neck towards the newly exposed skin. Emily's back arched slightly as I breathed over black lace. I smiled to myself as I could see her nipple harden beneath her bra, swiftly one of my hands reached around and undid the clasp. Our lips returned to each other as she was left half naked. I rolled her nipple slightly between my fingers and as she let out a gasp of appreciation I replaced my hand with my mouth and started kissing downwards towards her stomach. _God she felt good!_

Her hips were thudding up into my own as my tongue flicked its way over all the freshly revealed skin. One of her hands was tangled in my hair and the other was laced within my own. My free hand fiddled with the button on her jeans before I found I had to let her go to remove them completely. She took the opportunity to push me backwards slightly so her knees fitted neatly either side of my waist, unfortunately for her I took advantage of her new positioning as I sat upright and my hand slid beneath her girl boxers and found her throbbing core. She moaned lightly against my lips as I slid two strong fingers inside her. She arched backwards and I wrapped my free arm around her to stop her falling. Her hips started to rock back and forth so my fingers mirrored her own rhythm. Somehow I managed to roll over so I was back on top, using my now free hand to remove her of her last piece of clothing. Our lips met again and she gasped as I slid a third strong finger inside. She pressed her body up against mine as I started to speed up. She was nearing the edge so I moved my mouth downwards and my tongue joined the assault on her most sensitive area.

"Fuck...Naomi....hmmm....fuck me, right there....ah, shit..." she managed a few brief words between heavy breaths and sexy little moans of pleasure. Her hips continued rocking in time with my own movements and one of her hands found its way to pull slightly on my hair as she tumbled towards her peak. I held her there for as long as possible before pushing harder and allowing her to shudder as she climaxed, removing my fingers and pressing one strong thigh in between her own. I travelled my way back up towards her lips and encased them in my own before smiling to myself at the soft sheen of sweat that glowed upon her skin. The muscles in my arm were pounding slightly as I collapsed back down onto the bed beside her, laughing a little at the fact that I was basically still fully clothed.

"Jesus..." Emily rolled onto her side so she was facing me and pulled me close enough to her so our lips could meet with ease.

"Where did that come from?" I remembered the considerably timid way I used to fuck her and smiled contentedly to myself for having seemingly improved in the sex deprtment. She kissed the smile off of my face before removing me of my shirt.

"Think its funny...just you fucking wait!" She kissed me hungrily before turning the tables on me; I don't think anything had ever felt so good.

***

We were at it like rabbits for the entire night and most of the early morning, stopping momentarily to eat something or drink something before falling back into bed. Emily's soft movement from beside me woke me up every so often so I lay there and watched her sleep, taking in every inch of her beautiful and completely body. Every breath that she took made me realise just how lucky I was.

The light started to filter into her room and I figured it must be about nine o'clock, gently creeping out of her bed and throwing on her dressing gown, I wandered downstairs to make some coffee. As the kettle was boiling I stepped into the freezing outdoors and had a quick smoke. It really was far too cold to cherish but it was still nice to have a nicotine fix after a night of world shattering sex. Through the open door I heard the kettle click in completion and fumbled around trying to find the mugs. Eventually, after falling over my own feet once or twice as my legs still slighty resembled jelly, I found two mugs and made the coffee to perfection. _Even if I do say so myself._ As I crept back into her room I couldn't bring myself to wake her as she looked so incredibly peaceful in her sleep. Instead I just set her cup down on the side and sat down in the small but comfy chair that resided in the corner of the room and just continued to watch her.

No more than a few minutes later her eyelids started to flutter and she stretched out her arms and yawned herself awake. As her hand met the vaguely 'me' shaped dent in the mattress she seemed to wake quickly and sit bolt upright. I chuckled a little and her attention focused on me.

"Did you think I had gone?" She noticed her nearly warm cup of coffee and sipped it gratefully before nodding.

"Like I would go anywhere, I'm never leaving you again..." I put my now empty mug down on the windowsill and sat on the end of the bed. "Ems, I promise...I love you so much." I could feel the beginnings of tears in my eyes as I leant forward to kiss her. She tasted like sweet coffee and I quivered slightly as her hand tickled down the back of my neck. She pulled away slightly and I moved myself so I was sitting next to her and her head was resting on my chest.

"I know...I love you too Naoms." Her husky after sex voice was as amazing as I remembered it and I dropped a soft kiss onto her head. She took my hand in hers and rubbed her thumb teasingly over my knuckles so I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and moved my fingers over her very naked rib cage. She snuggled down underneath the covers slightly and I fell in with her, the sensation of skin on skin returned as she helped me out of the gown I was wearing. We just held each other, neither one of us daring to move more than a few inches in fear of losing the other. Emily's phone was vibrating on the floor in her jeans but she didn't care. The only thing we both cared about at that moment was each other. Slowly our breathing neared the steady rhythm of sleep.

That was until we were shot boldly awake by the front door being unlocked and the sound of voices that started to travel up the stairs.

**I'm going to say it again...a GIANT thank you to everyone reading. Please review, it completely makes my day! And any requests for Naomily scenes will be considered! :D as you can probably tell when reading the reviews I do listen to what you guys want, after all it's because of you lot that I continued with this story! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**So they are finally properly together!! YAY! I almost hate myself for allowing it to take so long for them to get back together! But I'm sure it will be worth it! :D Let the Naomilly fluff commence...but I have to keep a little angst running around! It's just no fun without it! Enjoy...**

Footsteps echoed up the stairs and I fumbled around trying to find my discarded clothes. It's funny how quickly you can get dressed when you need to. What wasn't funny however was how Emily was just sat in her bed laughing at my panic, after all it wasn't her that was going to get buried under a heap of Fitch. And not the good kind. The footsteps had thankfully diverted off in a random direction giving me a few extra seconds to try and shake off the 'after sex' look I currently had going.

"Babe, calm down and come back to bed, remember...no more running." Emily's husky voice was as sexy as ever and I considered her offer very carefully. Her eyes begged me and I knew it was useless to even try and resist her so I sighed before clambering onto the bed and laying so that my head fitted neatly into her lap.

"If your family kill me, I just want you to know..." I didn't get to finish the last three words as Emily's lips encased my own and I was softly drawn upwards. Her hand played gently with the back of my hair and I smiled slightly against her perfect lips.

"I know, I love you too Naoms." I remembered her saying that to me before and knew that it would always sound just as good as it did right now. I found myself momentarily being lost in her eyes; until her bedroom door opened.

"Fuck Em, put a sign up or some shit!" Katie shielded her eyes with her hand after seeing us together on the bed. The door was swiftly shut again and I wondered if she had actually noticed who I was. I sat upright and found every fibre in my body start to twinge with that little bit of fear, dangling my legs over the side of the bed for quick getaway. I didn't get chance to move as the door quickly reopened, I felt more pain erupt through my head and I felt hands dragging me onto the floor. I was pretty certain she knew it was me. All I could remember was a fresh pain as the back of my skull slammed onto carpet and my ears caught the faint sounds of Emily shouting before everything went dark.

.......

My eyes fluttered open and I recognised my surroundings as Emily's room, I seemed to be propped up in her bed. Good start, so I wasn't dead...although I'm pretty sure that Emily's bedroom was close to my idea of heaven as long as Emily was there with me. I blinked, looking around me and the light made the new pain in my head much worse. I tried, and failed to get up, every movement I attempted to make hurt like hell. I sat there completely beat for a few seconds as my eyes adjusted a little so that everything wasn't quite so blurred and I quickly realised that I was alone.

As I tried desperately to stop the room from spinning my ears picked up on voices but from where they were coming, I couldn't tell. I groaned slightly in one final attempt to haul myself upright and out of bed. I knew it wasn't the best thing for me but at that moment all I wanted to do was find Emily. To my surprise I had managed to stand up, just, and I fell towards the door. Opening it carefully the voices seemed to resonate from downstairs and they sounded angry. _Shit!_

"You can't fucking do this, not again! Remember the shit she put you through last time? You're a dozy bitch Emily!" Katie's voice was harsh with hatred of me, I knew I deserved it but she had no right yelling at Emily. I suddenly felt so protective so started to hobble slightly down the stairs.

"I love her Katie...that never changed. For fuck sake, why can't you just get over it? I did!" I was halfway down the stairs as Emily emerged from the kitchen clutching what looked like a bag of ice. She noticed me immediately and wrapped her arm reassuringly around my waist and draped my arm around her shoulders before helping me down the few final stairs. I was still a little unsteady.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me Emily..."Katie stormed out of the kitchen and I could feel the anger as her dark eyes met mine.

"Just Fucking great, didn't hit you hard enough obviously. Fuck off why don't you...I told you you're not welcome here!" The look on Katie's face flashed with something new, something that perhaps she hadn't meant to say. I guessed immediately that Katie hadn't told her sister about my visit before the summer had ended but I couldn't think of anything other than sitting down. I could almost see the birds flying around my vision.

"Ems, babe, think I can sit down?" I asked timidly and Emily just looked up at me, eyes full of concern, before leading me into the lounge and lowering me onto the sofa. She sat down next to me and I still found that I shivered as her leg ended up touching my own. She took my hand in hers and laced our fingers together before using her other hand to put the ice pack soothingly on the back of my neck. Instantly it helped calm down some of the pain.

"Why the fuck did you hit her?" Emily's attention had turned back to her twin and I noticed that Katie was just stood, arms folded, with the same look in her eyes that she had had at the end of summer. I don't think Katie had a reason she just needed a release, something that I knew far too much about, I decided at that moment that I had to try and build a few bridges. Besides I think it would be for the best if I had another member of the Fitch family that didn't actually hate me.

"Don't Ems...she is just angry, I understand...I hurt you, she just wants to protect you from getting hurt again. It's fine really." It wasn't fine, my head hurt like a bitch and everything was still a little fuzzy but I think I still managed to see Katie's expression soften slightly. Emily just squeezed my hand tightly.

"Look, Katie...you have to believe me. I didn't mean to hurt Emily and I have never stopped loving her. Neither of us planned for this to happen we just, sort of found each other again and I promise that if I'm a complete cock again you can punch me all you like." Emily gave me a gentle peck on the cheek and glanced up at her sister, pleading with her to just be nice for once.

"Yea, well, don't expect me to be fucking ecstatic or anything." I guessed that was the best I was going to get out of Katie Fitch so I just smiled up at her before collapsing back into the comfy sofa. The ice pack was melting against the heat of my skin and to my surprise Katie disappeared in search of a towel. Maybe she was feeling a little guilty for flooring me. I think I was making some headway into getting Katie on our side. It was certainly going to help when I came face to face with Jenna, which I figured was a certainty at some point. Emily snuggled into my shoulder as Katie handed me a towel to wrap around the speedily melting ice pack, the immediate pain was starting to turn into a dull ache which would eventually disappear completely. I was going to be fine but round one definitely went to Katie and the smug, if not slightly concerned, look on her face meant she knew it. _Fingers crossed that there is no round two. _Silence descended for a few moments before Katie felt the urge to speak.

"So how did all this..." she gestured towards Emily and me curled up on the sofa, "...happen anyway, last thing I heard you were happy with Mel!" Katie's voice twisted around the last part of the sentence trying to take a shot at her sister but Emily didn't seem to care. We just smiled mutually at each other as we silently tried to think of an answer.

"I guess it's when you stop looking that you actually find the thing that you are looking for." My eyes didn't leave Emily as I said it so I couldn't see Katie's reaction but I would have bet money on it being a rolling of the eyes and a swift shake of the head. The next few moments passed with very little interaction and I found myself thinking that the atmosphere could not only be cut with a knife but could probably also be sculpted into a big statue of awkwardness. The only sounds that met my still buzzing ears was an occasional heavy breath from the twin curled up in my arms or the pattering of hands on knees emanating from the other twin across the room.

"So you back together for good then?" I don't think Katie much liked silence, either that or she liked the sound of her own voice far too much. But her voice had softened slightly, so much so for a split second she sounded like Emily who had sat up without letting go of my hand so we could face the question together. I searched through my mind for something to say but was thankfully saved the trouble.

"I don't know, just taking each day as it comes...right babe?" She looked up at me and I turned my head to face her which I was immediately reminded was a huge mistake as the pain crashed around in my head.

"Yea, I'm just so happy that you're back in my arms." I directed my response to Emily in the hope of avoiding more questions being thrown at us by Katie. I found myself wishing that I could have said something along the lines of, 'hell yes we are back together FORVER, I never want to let you go again!' But figured that I didn't want to scare Emily off and if she wanted to take each day as it comes then that was absolutely fine with me. As long as each day I woke up next to her and each night we went to bed together, not necessarily to sleep mind you. I smiled at my own libido and realised that in my current state I wouldn't be much use in bed anyway.

"Mum is going to fucking kill you!" Katie laughed, interrupting my amazing train of thought with a startlingly accurate remark; that was until I realised that she wasn't just directing her statement at me.

"Yea well, let her try!" Emily smirked back at her sister and clasped my hand tightly. I liked the fact that nearly all the animosity in Katie's voice had gone and she was just a little uncomfortable but seemingly glad about her sister's happiness. I knew that Emily had never really gotten along with her mum after coming out and I also knew that her mum hated me enough to kill me, but her own daughter?

The ice had all but melted and Emily took the now soaking towel away from me and went to hang it up to dry in the kitchen. I hunched my knees underneath me on the sofa and found myself staring into the eyes of my least favourite of the twins. She scowled back momentarily before her face cracked into half a smile.

"You've grown up fashionable..." her eyes looked over the parts of my outfit that I had managed to find on Emily's floor. "...You're hair's nicer longer too." I shifted uncomfortably under Katie's sudden praise. I remembered how she had been in college, all leopard print and makeup, I found renewed hope in actually getting her to like the 'new me' but I did draw the line at animal print.

"Thanks, yea, guess Mel helped me find a look that suits!" I smiled at Katie briefly before realising that I had let the cat out of the bag, had she known that I was friends with Mel? _Bollocks! _My thoughts must have spread across my face as Katie seemed to chuckle slightly.

"Don't worry, Emily told me that she was you're room mate...she ok with you two going at it?" I attempted to fight back a smile as Katie's own words about me and Emily 'going at it' made her look disturbed. The smile won the battle as Emily wandered back into the room and patted her sister reassuringly on the shoulder before sitting back down with me.

"It was her idea." Emily's voice had lost all edge of nerves so I assumed she overheard Katie almost being nice to me. I slipped my hand over her thigh and was rewarded with tiny inescapable gasp from Emily's lips which hopefully Katie missed. _Wait how had she known it was Mel's idea?_ I looked up into her eyes with confusion in search of the answer she looked as if she has guessed I wanted.

"The text she sent me..." She took her phone out of her pocket and bleeped through a few buttons before handing it to me.

_Ems, Don't take this the wrong way but I'm breaking up wiv ya...oh and don't smile at the news there is a certain blonde waiting for you in my place. Naomi loves you, you twat...be happy! And not too much sex, she has a lecture on Monday! :D ... Mel xx_

I read it aloud and found an uncontrollable laughter creep over me which unfortunately made my brain hurt but it was completely worth it. Emily was massaging the back of my neck ever so gently which felt amazing and Katie was just looking completely dumbstruck filled with the thought once again of me and her sister.

"Ok, ok...I've seen and heard enough thank you! Fuck it! I'm going home...oh and I suggest you hurry up and do the same. Mum's coming home a day early." She got up to leave and was quickly followed by Emily, I assumed to say goodbye so I decided I should probably do the same. Waiting out in the hall as the sisters hugged at the doorstep and Katie turned to leave; I walked up behind Emily enveloped her waist with my arms and rested my chin on her shoulder. Katie turned around briefly before getting into her car and turning on the ignition, winding down her window she stuck her head out towards us.

"Oh, by the way Naoms...seriously I'll accept this for now but if you turn out to be a cunt again...I will hurt you!" With that parting gift she was gone. All I could think about was how happy I was that Emily had someone who would go the ends of the earth to protect her and that someone was also warming to me, even if she didn't like it much.

I let go of Emily so she could shut the door and leant in to kiss her as she turned around. Her lips felt so good against my own, I had almost forgotten the stabbing pain in the back of my head. She wrapped her arms around my hips and I rested mine on her shoulder and smiled in the knowledge that everything about this moment was amazing. I was back in the arms of the love of my life and we had won our first battle as a couple against her well meaning if not annoying twin sister. I held Emily as close as I possibly could and couldn't stop my fingertips from brushing softly over the naked skin revealed as her shirt hunched up slightly. She decorated my neck with a few soft kisses before pulling me back through into the front room and motioning me to cuddle down into the soft sofa. Emily smiled at me as she left momentarily before returning with some water and the small little white tablets that would help the throbbing. I gulped them down gratefully and just stared up at her noticing her eyes were still filled with worry.

"Ems...babe, honestly I'm ok. Katie was just pissed, I can't blame her for wanting to protect you and besides, she gave us the heads up about your mum coming back so we can enjoy ourselves today and run like hell tomorrow." Emily's face softened with a breathtaking smile and I held out my hand towards her. As soon as her hand was in my own I pulled her down onto the sofa and leant up taking her into a deep and hungry kiss. Her thigh wriggled until it was between my own and I found myself catch my breath, her lips smiled against my own and I was damn sure she knew what she was doing. Her lips were moving down my neck and soft kisses were replaced occasionally with a supple biting of my skin. Pleasure roamed around my body and as my back started to arch uncontrollably I felt the pain rise up the back of my neck and into my skull.

"Ah, fuck..." Emily stopped and her eyes were instantly back on my face and one of her hands was swiftly at the back of my neck.

"Sorry Naoms..." Ignoring the pain momentarily I leant forward to kiss her reassuringly, letting her know that this was in no way her fault.

"No, it's fine but...in no way forget what you were doing, but maybe give it five minutes for the pain killers to set in." She smirked at me before removing her hand from my neck and just cuddling down into my chest. I felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket and Emily delved in to try and retrieve it for me. I shuddered as I felt her fingers through denim. After a lifetime of rummaging her hand finally emerged with my phone and held it out to me. It had been ringing for quite a while so I didn't bother to have a look at who it was, I just slid it open.

"Hello." I decided on the formal introduction just in case it was someone important.

"Oh, you are there..." My ears were met with Mel's surprised voice.

"Yea, usually am...it was my phone you rang!" I shot sarcastically at her before realising that it was largely because of her that I had my Emily back. The thought of an apology formed in my brain but I didn't get the chance.

"No, what I meant was I thought it would go to voicemail...figured you'd be in a sex coma!" Mel chuckled down the phone and I debated with myself about hanging up. My eyes flicked to Emily and I decided instead to put her on loud speaker.

"What do you want Mel? Coz if it's not important Emily and I have some...things to take care of." I stroked my hand lightly over Emily's thigh in light of the fact that her mother was going to interrupt our 'love in' a day early. Emily's eyes met mine in the understanding that we needed to make the most of our time completely alone together.

"Ok, no need to go rubbing it in...Just wanted to let you know that Jake has invited us all to Carly's surprise birthday bonanza tomorrow but he needs to know numbers, you in?" Emily nodded at the chance to get me out in public as her girlfriend again and I thought about how much I liked the sound of it too.

"Sure sounds cool, count us in. You taking anyone?" I couldn't help but be curious as to the love life of my roommate, it was just common decency. _And I'm nosey, so sue me!_

"Maybe...gotta go, talk later babes!" She seemed like she was in a little bit of a hurry so I thought it would be better not to bombard her with questions.

"Sure...see ya babe!" With that the phone went dead and I suddenly realised that my legs had gone numb where Emily was still sitting on me. I fidgeted so that I was in a more comfortable position and tucked up my knees which pushed Emily towards me. I met her lips with mine and kissed her longingly, she slipped her tongue inside to let me know what she was going to do with me later. I must have been smiling like a small child on their first visit to Disney land but I didn't care because at that moment, for the first time in a long time, I was completely happy.

**Aww, how sweet! :D Once again a big thank you to everyone reading and reviewing...Keep the reviews coming I really do appreciate every single one! They make me so happy!! :D Next chapter is well on the way! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry it's taken so long! Have had some major issues with this chapter! Hopefully it surprises you all though! :D Also a HUGE thank you to everyone that has added this to their favourites and to everyone reviewing - I LOVE YOU ALL!! Anyhoo...Enjoy!**

Early evening. We were sat wrapped up snugly in her duvet. Every part of us was so intertwined that I wasn't sure where I ended and she began. Inhaling the soft red hair I could feel every fibre of my body tingle. The sun slowly descended leaving a soft orange glow shining perfectly off of her skin. Softly I brushed my lips over her shoulder blade and smiled lightly as she shuddered, rolling over until her eyes met mine and I was drawn into a faultless kiss. I was completely overwhelmed by the feeling of her skin against mine and the fact that I got to enjoy the sensation completely honestly made everything even better.

"What are you thinking?" I don't think I'd ever noticed that fact that her eyes contained so many wonderful colours, they were so deep and seemed to contain complete happiness. I couldn't help but feel a big stupid grin cross my face. I was far too in love to think of a romantic answer to her question.

"Not a lot." I guess the stupid smile I had was answer enough as she just cuddled into me and dropped a kiss on my neck. Her hands were running gently down my spine causing me to let out a deep breath against her skin. This time...we made love. The previous times we had been together it had all been about a release of emotion or finally giving in to a world of temptation. When I think about it, it was still amazing but it was never us truly allowing our feelings to wave over each other. This time was different, it was soft and slow and completely awe-inspiring. I saw stars, I felt like we were floating so high above everything that nothing else existed, there was no one else in the world but us.

The following morning I woke with a start as I thought something was moving downstairs. Sitting bolt upright I crept over to the door and listened intently praying that I had been imagining things. Thankfully whatever it was seemed to have stopped so I figured it had just been my brain playing tricks with me. I turned around to look at the warmth of Emily's bed and felt my heart skip a beat when she smiled up at me. Her eyes were begging me to come back to bed but if I did I wasn't sure I trusted myself to be able to get up and get going in time to avoid her mother. Wasn't sure I could handle being attacked again, I think I had taken all the punishment I could suffer for a while.

"As much as I would _love _to baby, I think we had actually better get up and start heading back over to mine and get ready for the party!" I chuckled a little as her eyes rolled over my still extremely naked body and her cheeks flushed. Triumphantly I wandered over to the bed and kissed her delicately for a few seconds before pulling away and attempting to find my clothes...again. _I really should be more careful where I throw them during sex._

"Besides, I don't think I can face your mum just yet!" I smirked towards her and she returned it without question, she understood which made my heart swell with adoration. I was nearly dressed and ready to leave but Emily was still moping around packing a bag full of clothes and make up so that she could stay with me for a few extra days. Neither of us wanted to be apart just yet and seeing as my room was a lot closer to the party and didn't contain people who would quite happily beat the crap out of me it seemed to be the perfect choice.

I found myself pacing, I had always been a little impatient but I would wait an eternity for Emily, guess she is just the answer and antidote to all of my annoying habits. Pacing towards the window, something caught my eye and made me take a closer look, immediately I was glad I was slightly impatient.

"Baby, your mum drives a red people carrier right?" I couldn't take my eyes away from the window as I heard Emily trudge back into the room.

"Yea, well more, sort of, maroony...why?" She glanced over at me and I could feel her body tighten with the same nerves that were running through mine.

"Because one just pulled up out the front and your mum is getting out of it!" I think I had frozen solid...I had meant what I said; I was in no way ready to be bitched at by Jenna Fitch. I needed a few hundred cigarettes and at least half a bottle of vodka before I could even consider it. Emily grabbed my hand and before I knew what was happening we were running down the stairs two at a time and legging it through the kitchen towards the back door. We couldn't help but laugh, an exhausted chuckle as Emily fumbled trying to open the door. It was then that I heard the front door click open and a thick Scottish accent roam towards us.

"Emily, you home?" I frowned slightly at the fact that there was little if no emotion in her mother's voice but I didn't have time to think anymore as I was swiftly pulled out of the door and through the gate. We ducked down to avoid being in the line of sight of the window as we tiptoed around the side of the house towards Emily's scooter. Just as we were about to round that final corner Emily suddenly flinched backwards and I was pushed hard against the brick wall. Her eyes met mine and I couldn't help but laugh as silently as possible which was obviously not silent enough as her finger was quickly pressed over my lips. I pouted against it and she grinned slightly before kissing me gently and once again grabbing my arm and pulling me out into the open. I felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights and if it wasn't for the fact that Emily was by my side I probably would have been frozen to the spot. Thankfully however Emily didn't let me go and before I knew it I was back on her scooter, breathing a heavy sigh of relief on the way back to Uni.

I wasn't concentrating on the journey, I wasn't even concentrating on the cigarette I was attempting to smoke but I was however concentrating on the fact that my left hand could pick up the very faint but completely prominent beating of her Emily's pulse. I couldn't control the urge to play with the zip on her jacket but after a few attempts thought it would be better for us both if she concentrated on the road. A few moments during the trip I had felt Emily's phone vibrate in her pocket, probably a 'what the hell' text or voicemail from her rather disgruntled mother. The rush of the whole situation was incredible, I would run anywhere if I could run there with Emily, despite my obvious lack of physical fitness.

The now familiar journey threw up no surprises and we were strolling hand in hand through the corridors towards my room before I knew it. We'd been here before, once to confront Mel about our past and once after the drunken Halloween party where our affair had began. But now here we were, facing door 213, hands laced together, a permanent grin on our faces and a love that was stronger than ever. Opening the door slowly part of me expected to see Mel lounging on the sofa pretending to read a book but more than ready to give us the bloody grand inquisition. I was a little disappointed that she wasn't but more than happy to just bundle Emily into my room and let her unpack the stuff she had managed to grab before we had made our getaway.

Music was blaring so I guessed Mel either had company or was trying to do some work. _She had company!_ I lay out on my bed and looked around me at the state of the papers on the floor, quickly remembering how I had been attempting to do work whilst hiding the bruising on my face, which I noted from the mirror on my wardrobe, was nearly gone. I grimaced slightly at the fact that I had spent two days without showering but the grimace was replaced by a softer expression when I remembered why I hadn't had time to shower. Emily's arms wrapped themselves around me and I spun to face her giggling like an utter fool. We kissed for a while before I couldn't stand being dirty any longer so I removed myself to the bathroom leaving Emily to busy herself in my room.

A few hours later, Emily and I were both clean and trying desperately to agree on outfits to wear to the party. We weren't sure whether it would be far too gay to coordinate slightly, accessories and such malarkey. I finally caved when Emily persuaded me to adorn my black jeans and plain white shirt with a blue chunky necklace and blue converse to fit snugly in with her royal blue skinny jeans and black tee. She painted my nails blue too, I always struggled not to get nail varnish everywhere but Emily was a pro. After a few touches of makeup we decided we were both as ready as we were going to be so we left the sanctuary of my bedroom and waited patiently for Mel and her inhabitant to emerge. We were both sat on the sofa, already half way into a spliff when Mel's door opened and we were met with a voice we were not expecting.

"Jesus, fucking again already?" Effy's voice was unmistakeable and her tone was as bland as ever, she had been pretty shut off all through college yet here she was coming out of my gay roommates bedroom. _What about Freddie? When had she decided she liked girls? Had she decided she liked girls or was she just experimenting? _A million unanswerable questions flooded through my brain and instead I just stood up and followed the example of Emily and hugged her.

"Long time no see Eff, what's been happening?" I didn't know why I bothered asking Effy anything, I always got the same answer.

"You know, not much..." Yep that's Effy, completely bland but in a ridiculously mysterious and alluring kind of way. I didn't bother asking anymore questions and instead just listened to Mel drone on and on about how they had met and how they had so much in common. Emily and I just seemed to sit there baffled by the whole thing; I could sense that she had the same amount of questions busying themselves around in her brain as I did in mine. I couldn't help but keep sneaking glances at Emily just to make sure she was still keeping up with the story and smile every time our eyes met. Effy just sat in the chair, one hand wrapped around Mel's, the other holding a spliff and a bottle of vodka. She still knew how to party. Time was dragging on so I expertly interrupted Mel's waffle about her new girlfriend and we all jumped into the pre-arranged taxi with Jake and Carly to the club that Carly's, far too rich, parents had booked for her birthday bash.

'Revolutions' was further into town than I had remembered, although I had been here only once whilst I was trying to drink myself to death in the months after mine and Emily's breakup. Swiftly pushing that thought to the back of my mind I took Emily's hand and we followed Mel and Effy inside. The place was already packed and I had a feeling that it was going to be an eventful evening. _Hell it already was. _

Making my way over to the bar with Emily in toe we got ourselves a few drinks before sitting down on one of the many pink decorated tables. Emily grimaced up at me with her 'I fucking hate pink' look in her eyes and I couldn't help but choke back a laugh. Jake had been dragged away to be introduced to all of Carly's family and Effy and Mel had disappeared somewhere, I wasn't too sure I wanted to know where but I was DAMN sure I would be getting more information out of Mel at the next available opportunity.

"Dance with me..." Emily had stood up without me noticing and was already dragging me out onto the dance floor. We started dancing, quite far apart at first, but as the effects of the weed and the few shots we had already consumed started flowing we drifted in towards each other and gave everyone a show. I could feel the uncomfortable glares from many people that I didn't really know and at this precise moment in time didn't give a fuck about. I had Emily in my arms, the night was still relatively young and we had just bumped into a face from the past that we didn't expect to see. _All in all...so far so good. _After more than about fifteen minutes of constant dancing I needed a drink and dragged Emily over towards the bar. Finding a couple of empty stools we sat down and waited to be served. I couldn't decide what I wanted so Emily ordered us a couple of interesting coloured cocktails that I couldn't pronounce the name of but I still drank it down without question.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Someone had grabbed Emily from behind us. My first thought was to protect her but my second thought was not falling on my arse. So I settled for a less than convincing attempt at pulling Emily back towards me which went rather well. I looked around her for the individual that had formed the question and was rewarded with another familiar face.

"No offense Katiekins but seeing you twice in a matter of days is a little weird!" I shouted over the music, ignoring her question entirely. She rolled her eyes in an almost friendly manner before grabbing the hand of a black haired guy that resided behind her.

"This is Kyle...he's Carly's brother..." she trailed off as he pulled her into a kiss before doing the whole, 'twin threesome' thing by raising his eyebrows as he noticed Emily. He obviously hadn't seen the fact that one of my hands was playing with the hem of Emily's shirt and the other was resting on her thigh. Or maybe he had and was about to invite me into a foursome. Either way I didn't like him. Katie must have guessed that Emily and I knew Carly through university, and Jake, following a rather meaningless conversation. Emily had gone to the loo and I was left with Katie and her boyfriend who couldn't stop looking at my tits. _Perfect._

"So, you seen Effy and that girl?" Katie was talking to me...she was actually talking to me about something that didn't involve Emily. I was dumbfounded.

"Y, uh, yea...that's Mel." I stumbled over myself in response, I was just still a little shocked that Katie was being so nice. Maybe I had got to her back at the house, I felt a little proud of myself and smiled to show it. Katie's face however had dropped to the floor on realisation that the girl her sister had previously been going out with was so blatantly gorgeous.

"So how longs Effy, you know...liked girls?" I don't know why I assumed Katie would know, she and Effy never really got along in college, actually that's an understatement. They hated each other. Katie didn't speak, she just shrugged in response and I found a smirk pass over my face as Emily returned and kissed me passionately.

"I think it's time for one of our famous half hour long cigarettes..." She whispered against my ear as she grabbed my hand and started to pull me out into the cold night air.

**Hopefully it didn't suck too much! Please review and let me know what you all think! It really does make me so happy to get your comments...also, what do you all think of Effy's appearence?? Lol I wasn't completely sure myself but decided to throw her into the folds anyway! :D**


	17. Chapter 17

**Loved and couldn't stop writing this, so it is up earlier than I thought it would be...enjoy!**

It was nearing one in the morning and the club was still pretty packed, I was trying to have a good time but that was made incredibly difficult thanks to Emily and her consistently sexy biting of her lower lip. She was such a tease but unfortunately good manners were all too prominent in the front of my brain telling me that it was rude to leave until the party looked like it was winding down. I was perched at the bar watching Emily dance with Katie. A few times some twat had tried to put his arms around Emily and I caught my heart in my throat because every time Katie had pushed him away and yelled something like 'she has a girlfriend back off!' I had decided it would probably be a good idea o stop drinking so heavily as I figured one of us needed to remain vaguely coherent in an attempt to get Emily and I back to mine. I smiled as I thought about the concept of 'Emily and I' I needed to cherish it considering I had fucked it up last time...I wasn't going to take a single second for granted. I knew what I had to lose.

Ordering another glass of water from the bar I glanced round the buzzing room hoping to catch a glimpse of Effy and Mel but still nothing. I wasn't worried they can take care of themselves, I was actually thinking if they can disappear and not be missed so could me and Emily. I attempted vaguely to get her attention but it was no use, she was too busy bouncing to the music. _Up and down, look at the way her...snap out of it! _Attempting to regain my focus off of her chest I guzzled down half the glass of water and endeavoured to stand. Taking a deep breath as I regained an upright position my legs felt a little stronger than they had before and I grinned slightly in pride. I took one nervy step forward and found that I had most of the control over my limbs, I hadn't even wobbled. I centred my vision on Emily and was about to step forward when someone barged into me, causing me to stagger for a second but impressively regain my balance.

"What the fuck...Naomi?" My attention snapped away from the gorgeous red-head into the fuming green eyes of Faith. I must have frowned slightly as I was quickly shoved again, both of her hands pressing on my shoulders causing me to fall into the bar. _At least she wasn't punching me...yet._

"Don't fucking frown at me, I said what the fuck... Emily? I should have known!" I was trying to take it all in, trying to think of something I could say to make it all vanish. I wasn't drunk, but I wasn't sober enough to deal with this right now. She was about to shove me again when she seemed to jerk backwards and fall to the floor. Emily appeared beside me and I guessed she had been responsible for Faith's collapse, she took my hand and stood slightly in front of me. I put my hand gently on her shoulder and was suddenly filled with a strength that was just pouring off of Emily. I felt so secure.

"You've had your fun, now just fuck off!" Emily shouted, glaring at Faith as she managed to crawl back onto her feet.

"You have no fucking right telling me what to do you little bitch. We were fine before you started hanging around us like a bad smell." This time she slapped Emily who immediately went for her, pulling her hair, hitting her wherever she could land a blow. Katie swiftly intervened and dragged her very livid sister off of Faith.

"You said you couldn't be with anyone, said you needed to be alone...yet here you are fucking her." All the anger in her voice had been replaced with sadness and I felt a pang of sympathy rise up within me. Emily must have noticed.

"No...Babe, you don't owe her anything...she fucking punched you!" I didn't know if what Emily said was true but I definitely needed to sort this out. I flashed my attention to Katie who nodded in answer to my silent question of 'watch Emily for me?' and before I could stop myself I was dragging Faith out of the club. The early morning was thick on the air and the cold breeze that blew was enough to sober me up almost completely. Faith was stood with her back to me and I wracked my mind trying to think of something to say, I think she deserved the truth.

"You had no right slapping Emily." I startled myself when my voice erupted furiously and wasn't filled with the calm sympathy I expected. She didn't move a muscle so I continued.

"She had nothing to do with this..." So I was still lying but I could save Faith the heartache of knowing that I cheated on her. Still nothing, she was just stood looking up at the street light; the only movement that escaped her was her breathing.

"Look, the reasons I gave you at the end were true, I didn't think I could be with anyone, I couldn't throw myself into anything...let alone a relationship." Faith clenched her fists before turning around to face me, I was unsure whether she was angry or upset...probably a mixture of both.

"You are already fucking Emily, yet she had nothing to do with it...what the hell?" Faith just stared at me with hollow eyes and I hated myself slightly that I didn't feel anything, except the fact that she was starting to piss me off.

"I've always loved Emily, when I was with you and every second we were apart I was thinking of Emily, I've tried doing this the nice way, so now I will try the truth...I broke up with you because all I could think about was Emily and that wasn't fair on you." I realised that my voice was completely bland, emotionless, like it had been so many times in college, before Emily.

"How fucking chivalrous, I'm so glad you saved me all this heartache and tell you little conquest that if she ever does that to me again she'll regret it." Faith turned away and I could feel the anger well up inside me until I couldn't contain it, I strode after her and grabbed her arm as tightly as I could.

"Look, leave her alone, let me tell YOU something, you ever talk about her or threaten her or physically hurt her again and you will see that I'm not all sugar and teddy bears." I glared own at her so hard my own head started to hurt, I'm not sure whether it was the look on my face or my intelligent use of metaphor but I think my point landed as she shrugged and walked away. I felt the tears I had been keeping within myself start to trickle down my cheeks as I let out a giant breath. I tried to release all the tension from my body and regain a little bit of composure before going back to see Emily. I should feel relieved that I had gotten rid of Faith but I felt completely empty and then I felt worried at the fact that Emily was waiting for me in the club. Turning as quickly as possible without falling over I made my way back inside and looked for the glowing red hair of my girlfriend. A massive smile crossed my face as I saw Katie and Emily stood next to the bar, I crept up behind Emily and wrapped my arms around her so my hands were pressed flatly against her stomach. Her hands fastened over mine and her thumb played with my knuckles.

"It was so hot the way you protected me..." I whispered in her ear and felt her chuckle slightly against my body. I plunged a few soft kisses on her neck and grinned to myself as her nails dug into my hand slightly. I loved that I still had that affect on her.

"Yea, well...I couldn't stand the thought of her hitting you." She spun around in my arms and leant up pressing her lips against mine, it was a frantic kiss at first but when she deepened it with her tongue the passion hit the roof. We were interrupted by a loud cough from Katie; guess she wasn't completely comfortable with this whole thing just yet.

"Sorry Katiekins...got carried away." I grinned towards her and to my surprise she smiled back without a hint of sarcasm. Katie and Kyle said their goodbyes and headed back home so I was left with Emily swaying slightly in my arms and before we knew it we were giggling like maniacs about nothing in particular. Finally the party was winding down so Emily and I managed to escape into the nearest available taxi. Fifteen minutes later after getting stupidly turned on from a make out session in the back of the cab we were back in my room.

Emily almost wrestled me over to the bed and pushed herself on top of me, slamming passionate kisses down my neck and unbuttoning my shirt, pressing her lips over all the newly exposed skin. I shuddered against her touch, and let out a few soft gasps. Emily wriggled me out of my jeans and allowed her lips to meet mine again before her fingers arrived where I needed them most. I dug my hands into her back and she removed herself from me briefly so I could remove her of her top. I leant upwards slightly and took her skin into my mouth hard enough to leave a mark, she bit her lip as she let out an incredibly sexy groan. Pushing me back down onto the pillows she proceeded kissing down the length of my body, flicking her tongue agonisingly over every part of me before dropping downwards. Her fingers held a steady rhythm and I toppled slightly, gazing up at the stars that were beginning to float around my brain. Legs twitching slightly, she pressed harder against me and as her speed increased I plummeted over the edge. Her lips met mine and as my body writhed beneath hers she pressed her thigh down in between my own to prolong the sensation. She held me there momentarily before allowing me to come crashing back down to earth.

"Fuck...Jesus, wow..." was all I managed to say as she collapsed next to me breathing almost as heavily as I was.

"Guess I just know what you like baby..." She kissed me again and I pulled her in deeper before muttering something about it was her turn now and eventually we both passed out.

***

I don't think there is anything more rewarding than the sleep after sex, unless it's waking up wrapped in the arms of the person you truly love. Emily was still breathing heavily in her sleep, I don't know what it was about going to bed with her, I always woke up earlier than usual. I didn't mind, back in college I had used the few extra minutes to scarper so I didn't have to face her, now I spent it just watching her sleep. I loved the way even when she was in a deep sleep she still responded slightly when I brushed my fingertips over her skin. At this moment Emily was snuggled into my neck and I found myself playing with the back of her hair gently enough not to wake her. I could almost feel the electricity as my fingers hovered over her skin. It was like a static energy that filled me with the most intense of emotion. Dropping a tender kiss onto her forehead I wriggled out to keep up mine and Mel's tradition about after sex coffee.

"Morning stranger..." I knew Mel would be in the kitchen and I was rewarded by a grunt in reply and got handed a cup of coffee. Taking a sip I felt the warm liquid fall through me instantly getting rid of most of my hangover. I didn't take my eyes of off her as she wandered over to the sofa and slumped down, I smiled over the tip of my mug.

"So...you and Ef, how did that come about?" I couldn't hold in my curiosity any longer so I sat almost on top of her just to make sure there was no way she could escape. She looked a lot worse than I did, so I thought I should go a little easier than usual with her. Mel gulped down some of her coffee before clearing her throat.

"I was just walking through the park and smelt weed, I looked over and saw her so figured I would take a plunge. Before I knew it she was back here with me, we had polished off a bottle of Bacardi and well, one thing led to another so we ended up in bed." She looked up at me and noticed the insanely large grin I had on my face, I wasn't sure whether she had been told about Emily and I knowing Effy.

"Sounds like love at first sight..." I trailed off attempting to think of a less obvious way to ask 'are you her first girlfriend?' but failed miserably.

"Yea, everything just clicked...I'm the first girl she's been with so I'm trying to take things slow but all she wants to do is get in my pants." I couldn't hold back my laughter but tried to choke it back down, Mel just looked up at me and it didn't take long before we were both giggling.

"So, trying to break through Effy's shell then huh?" Mel just nodded at me so I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and she leant into me.

"What was she like in college?" I sighed carefully at the fact that all of the questions I couldn't figure out how to ask she had answered on her own. I didn't know what to say about Effy, even though she had helped me loads when Emily and I had gone our separate ways, she still didn't really let me in.

"I honestly don't know babes, she has always been pretty cut off. I don't think she likes letting people in, she's scared that she is going to get fucked over." I nudged her gently in a reassuring manor and was rewarded with a smile. She looked like she was falling hard, I recognised the look as the one I had had when I realised that I was madly in love with Emily. So I continued...

"You just have to find a way to prove to her that you're here for keeps. Ok babe?" She smiled up at me before standing up and washing the mug that she had polished off almost too quickly, kissing me softly on the forehead before returning to her room. I heard muffled voices before everything fell silent again, it was a beautiful silence that made me recall everything that had happened. I don't think I could still believe the fact that Emily was back with me, I guess after every shit emotion I have been through I was reluctant to let myself feel completely happy again. It was selfish, but I just didn't want to get hurt again, losing Emily had almost killed me and even though she trusted me not to do it again, I just wanted to be sure. Shaking my head to interrupt my downward flourish of thoughts I threw my mug into the sink and returned to my room. Emily's deep brown eyes looked up at me from my bed and her lips smirked in the way that makes my heart melt completely.

"Hey babe, I was thinking, it's only a week and a bit away so...do you want to come over and have Christmas dinner with my family? Katie's bringing Kyle and I'm fed up with having to sit at the table without anyone." I think my heart stopped, if there was one thing I didn't want to do on Christmas day it was face Jenna Fitch. _No more running!_

"As long as you hide all the knives and scissors...yea, besides I think Katie is reluctantly starting to like me..." I trailed off as her very naked body emerged from my duvet and pulled me towards the bed.

"I love you so much Naoms..." Emily's eyes were gazing up into my own and I kissed her gently before removing the really large shirt I had put on to face Mel and regaining the feeling of my skin against hers.

"I know..." I don't think I could love her anymore than I did right at this moment, except for the fact of the ensuing meeting with the Fitch-monster.

'**Fitch-monster' courtesy of HyperFitched...sorry had to borrow it! Hope you don't mind!! :D**

**KairiM – You need to get out of my head!!! Lol you seem to guess where I am going with this!!! Love you for it though!! :D**

**Once again please review it really makes my day to read all of your comments!!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Second chapter going up within a matter of hours! As soon as I posted the last one I started work on this one and havent been able to stop...hence it is going up now! Enjoy...I LOVED writing this! **

So, university had ended for Christmas and I was still up to speed with most of my work despite the building distraction of Emily. She hadn't really been home much in the past two weeks, only to get clothes and have her bi-weekly argument with her mum. The Christmas dinner was arriving all too quickly; in fact it was tomorrow.

I'm not really a big fan of Christmas, it's a giant corporate event that had progressed only having one purpose, to make money. Ok, so the whole Christ's birthday thing doesn't sit too well with me either but I don't hate the messiah as much as I hate the fact that stores everywhere use it as an excuse to take us for every penny. I don't understand the point in celebrating something that we are not even one hundred percent sure actually happened. I'm cynical like that.

I hated Christmas more this year as unfortunately it was a big family oriented thing for the Fitch's so Emily had to leave earlier this morning. She had been gone for maybe two hours but I already missed her like crazy. The way her hair smells, the way I go so very weak at the knees when she so much as smiles at me. But more than anything I missed the way her skin feels against mine and the way our hands fit perfectly together. Mum had been surprised to say the least when we had shown up hand in hand although it hadn't taken much explaining before my mum was hugging Emily so tightly I was a little scared she would burst. I don't think mum had stopped smiling since...it was a little disconcerting that my mum had treated Emily more like a daughter than Jenna, but I think they both liked the relationship.

Emily and I had made a rough plan for Christmas day, the morning we would spend with our own separate families, then the dreaded dinner at Emily's before heading back to mine and snuggling in front of the fire and a movie. It all sounded so lovely, except for the fact that I would rather stick pins in my eyes than spend quality time with Jenna Fitch. It wasn't that I hated her, it was the fact that she hated me and treated her own daughter like shit just because she was gay that made her so unbearable. And to top off the already pants sounding trip, James Fitch would more than definitely be there and would undoubtedly be staring at my tits. I did however find myself wondering if Rob was going to be there. I hadn't really got to talk to him that much but I'm guessing that I had him to thank most for the way Emily was.

Most of Christmas Eve, mum, Kieran and I played random card games and indulged in a glass or two of sherry. Or in Kieran's case five pints of Guinness, three glasses of sherry and something he liked to call 'The Luck of the Irish.' It was some kind of weird cocktail involving far too many spirits...He had passed out by around nine o'clock. I cuddled up next to my mum on the sofa and we watched the nightmare before Christmas. It was sort of a tradition of ours and as the night dragged on I felt myself caring less and less about the whole Jenna situation tomorrow, if it would make Emily happy then it was really a no brainer. After the film mum and I attempted to drag Kieran into bed but decided he was too heavy so we left him where he fell on the recliner.

"So what do you want to do now?" Mum asked as she draped a blanket over her snoring boyfriend.

"I dunno, I was going to call Emily but I think she needs family time before I disturb the peace tomorrow." Mum and I laughed, I had told her about the only meaningful conversation I had had with Jenna back when Emily and I were still in the process of getting together for the first time. She had warned me off, telling me that I needed to leave Emily alone. I'm so very glad I didn't listen to her.

"Ok so I think a few more glasses are in order and maybe we could look through some old photographs, we haven't done that in a while." I smiled and nodded before cuddling back down onto the sofa and waiting for my mum to return with more alcohol. I decided silently that this would be my last glass as I needed my wits about me for tomorrow's dinner...Three more glasses and I had passed out on the sofa with a book of photos from my childhood.

So...drinking heavily the night before Christmas and the night before spending time with your girlfriends horrible mother is not the best idea. I woke up with a splitting headache and was swiftly handed two paracetamol and a cup of milk, gulping them down I managed to sit myself upright and throw my arms around my mum.

"Happy Christmas darling..." She muttered as she wandered into the kitchen to presumably make breakfast.

We never had many presents at Christmas, one or two carefully picked out gifts that just finished off the day nicely. I managed a vaguely surprised face as I got my token bit of jewellery and the envelope of money that allows me to get whatever the hell I wanted. That was all I really was expecting and all I got, so I was happy. Emily and I were going to swap gifts later so I still had a surprise to look forward too.

You know those moments when you're facing something that you really don't want to happen, time just flies bye. This was one of those moments and before I knew it the clock was approaching noon, I found myself just staring at the circular face, watching as each second disappeared before my eyes. Tearing myself away for a brief moment I went to have a shower and get changed. I had no idea what I was going to wear so I decided on something that wouldn't give James a lot to perve at. White skinny jeans and a black jumper that was decorated with rainbow splodges here and there was what I ended up going with. Throwing my white Doc Martins on at the door my mum gave me a reassuring kiss goodbye before I was walking towards the Fitch house...Even the journey didn't take long enough.

I shook my head slightly at the fact that I had spent so much time recently stood outside of this front door. I smoked down around four cigarettes before I even took one step closer to their front door. There is nothing like chain smoking to give you no more courage than usual...I was clicking my fingers against my belt buckle and I nearly didn't notice the door open.

"Hey you..." Emily pulled me towards her and dropped a swift kiss onto my lips, I suddenly felt calmed, like I could go up against the world. I wanted to just drag her away somewhere that didn't involve her family, but l knew that wasn't an option.

"Let's get this over with." I muttered against her lips before taking her hand and shuffling her back towards the door.

"One thing before we go inside..." she paused and dragged me back towards her, I was slightly worried about the fact that she wasn't looking me in the eye.

"I didn't exactly tell mum who I was bringing to dinner." My eyes went as wide in shock as they could possibly go and I just stared at my girlfriend. Dinner seemed bad enough when I thought Jenna was expecting me; it just got a whole lot worse knowing that I was just going to be a terrible surprise. I took a deep breath to steady everything that was going around in my head.

"What the hell Emily?" I didn't sound as angry as I thought I was going to, more confused and completely scared.

"I'm sorry, it was hard enough to persuade her to let my _girlfriend_ come round for Christmas dinner. If Katie hadn't stuck up for me, she would have probably said no." Her eyes were burning into mine, I couldn't stay angry or upset at her, she could override all of my emotions with a single glance.

"Right...fuck it; let's get it over with shall we?" Her perfect smile returned and she took my hand in hers before leading me inside. I could hear rummaging coming from the kitchen and voices emanate from the lounge. Emily and I just stood beside each other, silently preparing ourselves for the onslaught of her Family. We were interrupted when James ran through from the front room, nearly falling over his chin as it hit the floor after he noticed me standing hand in hand with Emily.

"Phwar, Naomi's still as fit as ever..." He shouted as he bounded up the stairs two at a time, stopping momentarily to see if his height advantage enabled him to see down my top; thankfully it didn't.

"Did someone say Naomi?" The thick Liverpool accent streamed out from the living room and I was quickly greeted by the smiling face of Mr Fitch.

"Yea dad, you remember Naoms right?" Emily nudged me forwards so I could attempt to acknowledge her dad properly. He offered me his hand which I shook with as much vigour as possible which he seemed to appreciate. He gave Emily a quick look of 'your mum isn't going to be happy' before vanishing into the kitchen.

"Now or never, right?" I muttered before pulling Emily into the kitchen and regarding Jenna as she put the finishing touches to the table settings.

"Hello Jenna, you're looking lovely as ever." Even Emily seemed taken aback by my sudden burst of confidence and I found my breathing quicken as Mrs Fitch's eyes met my own. _Shit shittedy shit shit shitification._ _God I sound like fucking JJ._ Jenna hadn't said anything, she was just staring at me, probably planning which of the number of potential murder weapons she was actually going to use to kill me.

"What...the...hell...is...she...doing...here?" She had to pause between every word to, I assume, make absolutely sure she didn't raise her voice.

"She's Emily's girlfriend mum, get over it already...let's just have a nice dinner...k?" Katie bustled past me and shot me a quick smile as she sat down on the side of the table nearest the window. Jenna didn't say anything further and looked just as confused as Emily and I did over Katie's sudden support. Eventually after an extremely long and awkward silence we all took our places at the table and started eating Jenna's weird take on a traditional Christmas dinner. Thankfully I was sat opposite Katie and next to Emily and Rob, completely out of Jenna's reach. Rob was blabbing on about some sort of new fangled gym equipment he was designing, I nodded and smiled in all the right places to let him know that I was listening intently. I wasn't, I was too busy trying to eat Jenna's lentil and lentil soup with added lentils for flavour; dishwater would have probably tasted better but I was definitely not going to complain. _One course down, two to go..._

Emily was holding my hand tightly under the table and everything was going surprisingly well, if I ignore the glares that Jenna keeps throwing in my direction. Katie, Rob and I were getting along swimmingly, chatting between mouthfuls of something that I couldn't even recognise as food. I found that as long as I could take some interest in the world of 'don't get fit get Fitch,' Rob and I were going to be on good terms. Katie was muttering something about Carly's birthday party and how amazing it was to be together as a family again but I could sense that Jenna was about to explode.

"Have I been warped into some alternate reality where everyone has forgotten just how much heartache this..._girl..._has put us through?" Everyone went silent and the smile I had on my face fell as Jenna's eyes burnt into my own.

"She didn't put anyone through heartache except me mum..." Emily laced her fingers through my own on the table so that everyone could see we were united before she continued. "...and I forgive her, I love her...can't you see that. I am so happy that we are back together, isn't that enough for you?" I could feel Emily's heart reach out to her mum, every part of her was wishing that Jenna would just nod and everything would be wonderful.

"Don't you think a nice young, boy, would make you happier sweetheart?" I felt all the strength drain out of Emily as her attempt at reasoning with her mother failed miserably; a new emotion filling the empty space within the seemingly rigid Emily beside me...anger.

"I'm fucking GAY mum, you know, tits and fanny, girls...not boys or men or anything with a penis!" James automatically laughed and Katie found it difficult to hold back a smile, I was too busy squeezing Emily's hand to do anything and both Mr and Mrs Fitch looked completely dumbfounded. Jesus, Jenna was actually going to implode.

"Now you listen to me young lady, you are going through a phase! An attention seeking phase that was started because of this...girl!" She gestured at me, she couldn't even say my fucking name. _Right my turn! _

"My name is Naomi...Naomi Campbell...and I have had just about all I can stomach. You have no idea just how much you are hurting your own daughter by not accepting or even listening to her...do you? She isn't going through a phase and no matter how much you want to, you can't _fix _her. She is gay and I am madly in love with her. I love how she takes forty five minutes, pretty much bang on, to get ready...I love how her smile makes me feel completely invisible...I love how she fiddles with anything she can get her hands on when she's nervous...I love how she insists on holding hands, without gloves, even though it's freezing outside. I love absolutely everything about your daughter Mrs Fitch, yet you can't handle one simple thing about her life and you say that I'm causing her heartache. At least I know when to hold my hands up and apologise; instead of pretending that I am doing nothing wrong." Silence, the room was in complete silence and I realised just how much I was crying. _Shit I need a smoke._

"Excuse me, I need a cigarette..." I pushed my chair out and all but ran out of the front door, fumbling around in my pocket for my fags I finally lit one and took a few long steady drags in a vague attempt to calm myself down. I'm pretty sure Jenna was going to be extremely pissed at me now but for once I couldn't have cared less. I know she is Emily's mum but she is also a cold hearted cow who would rather disown Emily than accept her for who she is. It was just so fucking frustrating. My breathing returned to something near normal and I debated just running away, it seemed so easy...just a few steps and I would be away from the angst and the muted opinions. But I would also be leaving Emily prey to her mother and that was something that I certainly wasn't going to do again.

"You...where...when..." Emily stuttered behind me, she seemed utterly speechless about my sudden burst of emotion. Instead she just pressed her lips against mine and held me as close to her as was physically possible. I threw my second cigarette over into the hedge and clasped my arms tightly round her back. A few yielding tears ran down my cheeks and as I glanced upwards I noticed the demon herself standing on the doorstep unable to keep her hands still.

"Can you both come back inside and finish eating please?" Emily scowled slightly and showed visible disdain from having to return to the idea of happy families. Jenna just stood looking at us, I wasn't sure what emotion was written all over her face but it certainly wasn't the hatred from before. I fought with myself and thought of what was best for Emily before coming to my decision.

"Come on babe, pudding's the best bit right?" I took Emily's hand gently in mine before pushing elegantly past Jenna and back into the kitchen. Katie looked up at me and smiled, James wolf whistled at us before being smacked around the back of his head by Katie and Rob stood up and pulled out our chairs for us. The rest of the dinner flew bye with not a lot of conversation, no surprises there really. I wasn't really very hungry but decided to show some effort and push the food around on my plate a little. Before we knew it, the clock was chiming five o'clock, Emily and I had endured four whole hours with her family and I was still standing. _It could have been a lot worse._

Emily, Katie, Rob and I left at the same time, I just watched as they said their goodbyes and couldn't help but cringe at the obvious tension as Emily hugged her mum. Katie had hugged me tightly before getting into her car and vanishing, a car was always useful for a speedy getaway. Emily's hug with her dad lasted lovingly and I could feel the pain as they had to pull away, Rob waved at me which I appreciated and waved back in return as his banged up old car also pulled out of the driveway. Emily walked over to me and seized my hand before we turned to walk away.

"Goodbye Emily...Naomi..." I turned around just in time to see the door shut.

**So, yea...please review and I love you all for reading! Only a few more chapters of this one left methinks! :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry it's been a while since my last update! Some of us have actual work to do! But hope this makes up for it...let's shake things up shall we..?? ENJOY!**

It's amazing just how much fun you can have without leaving your bedroom if you remain cooped up with the love of your life. I don't think Emily and I had been further than the living room in the past six days, it was brilliant. I was beginning to forget what the outside world looked like but all the beauty I needed was cuddled up in my arms, so I was happy. Emily hadn't spoke much about my sudden outburst at the dinner, which was probably a good thing, I had no words to explain why it had happened.

The past few days had followed the seemingly reoccurring pattern of morning sex, coffee, Emily watch me attempt to do some of my Uni work, more sex (my fault usually as I am far too distracted to work), dinner with mum and Kieran, movie in front of the fire and then back to bed. I liked my routine. But unfortunately today was new years and it was a requirement to go out and get completely wasted. Emily and I had arranged to meet up with the old gang at the club Cook was pretty much running now...I always did have high hopes for him. He had been my best friend throughout all of the breakup fiasco; after all he was still pining after Effy at the time, so I guess he knew roughly what I was going through. I wonder if he knew that Effy was now batting for the same team as me and Emily. I could just imagine the look on his face when Effy walked in, hand in hand with Mel...god he was going to have palpitations.

"What are you smiling at?" Emily was propped up on her elbow looking over at me with her hair sticking out at random angles, our lips met briefly as she ran her fingers along my cheekbone.

"Nothing, just Cook's face when he sees Effy and Mel!" Emily erupted into uncontained laughter and I giggled slightly, she looked breathtaking when she laughed so I pushed myself on top of her. She always smelt so good in the mornings and the hungry morning kiss was just as good as I remembered. Looking over at the clock however I noticed that it was just after lunch, I wasn't really hungry and I didn't want to move away from Emily but I knew that mum would disturb me if I hadn't shown my face before one.

Emily wriggled around to get comfortable beneath me, I moved my legs slightly so they fit perfectly between hers and smiled down at her somewhat blushing face. I wanted her all to myself for the brief moments before we went out and joined in the random fun with the rest of the group. As much as I loved the other guys, right now I just wanted to cherish every moment alone with Emily. Every breath she took made my skin shiver against her own, every smile made me lean into a passionate kiss. I felt completely selfish as the fact that I really didn't want to share her ran around in my head, but seemingly I really did want to see how Cook was dealing with everything. My train of thought was interrupted by something I thought had remained unspoken.

"Babe, at dinner, did you mean it?" I cringed at the thought of the Christmas dinner that had been annoyingly awkward and particularly gauche, although I did feel slightly comforted by the fact that Jenna hadn't been a complete bitch. My rant about how much I was in love with Emily was still clear in my mind, even if the reason behind it was a little fuzzy.

"Yeah, I really did, I don't want anything to be a secret between us..." I paused for thought as her deep brown eyes met my own "...besides, I love completely everything about you Ems and I don't think I could be without you in my life." We smirked at each other in perfect silence for what seemed like forever, my hands pinned above her head and no part of me wishing for anything other than what I had at that moment. As she leaned up to kiss me yet again I heard the voices of my mum and Kieran resonating from the kitchen, if there is one thing that can kill as mood it's a very hung over Irish accent asking where his socks are. Part of me hated the fact that Kieran was on holiday from college all this time, although every second I looked at my mum and noticed she was happy was completely worth it. _So much for wake up sex today!_

"Babe, do you want to go out tonight? I would rather welcome in the new year, you know, just the two of us!" Emily winked at me, never in my wildest dreams had I imagined her wink at me...part of me agreed with her, I wanted nothing more than to curl myself around her and to meet the New Year with no one except the two of us. However, this whole get together had been planned for quite a while so it was going to be tricky to get out of. In the end we decided that we would go for a little bit and then return to my bed and greet the New Year completely enveloped up in each other.

I had arranged to meet the rest of the crew at the club at around nine thinking it would give Emily and me the complete day to be alone. However when I made these arrangements I wasn't counting on Kieran's want to take me out for a while and give me 'the talk!' I mean what the hell, it's not like I am going to accidentally get Emily pregnant and I sure as hell am not going to cheat on her again. One mistake that I learnt the hard way, building in crescendo until Emily left me; I was never going to put myself, or her, through that again. Kieran and I had taken a brisk afternoon walk, I was wrapped up in as many layers as possible and he was wandering around in nothing more than a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Idiot. It had been nice to get out of the house for a while, but I found myself aching after Emily, I smirked to myself as I reminisced about how in love I really was. When we had returned to the house, mum and Emily were sat in the kitchen, drinking down some hot chocolate and talking about something that I'm sure it's better if I don't know. They both jumped up to welcome us home and I melted as Emily's hands played with the back of my shirt, between the gap where material met skin. We had retired to my bedroom just after lunch and fallen into my sheets for a few more hours.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by ever so quickly, a few brief kisses here and there, a few heart warming embraces and before I knew it, we were getting ready to go out. This time there was no slight embarrassment about dressing to match, Emily and I wore our own thing...we hadn't really told our friends about the fact that we were back together so we assumed they were all bricking it about how we would behave around each other. Only Katie and Effy knew, but I'm sure when we arrive together everything will become blatantly obvious...well, maybe not for Panda, but she always has been a current short of a fruit cake.

I didn't have anything that I looked good in and kept me warm enough to face the elements, so I decided to put on my drunken blanket to make my way to the club. Thankfully Emily had no objections so we indulged on a bottle of vodka to ward out the cold. I held my breath as I looked up and down the outfit that Emily had chosen to adorn for this evening. So much of her skin was on show and I couldn't quite take it all in, I just wanted to enclose her in my arms and never let her go but her eyes seemed to say the same about my setup. It didn't take long before we were saying our brief goodbyes and 'don't wait ups' to mum and Kieran before I ended up trying not to stare at the way her hips swayed underneath her dress as she led me out of the door. A few hungry kisses later and we were on our way to the club for the New Year's party and a well deserved get together with the old gang.

"Naomikins...and who's this...Emily, where have you been all my life, you back on cock yet?" Cook stumbled at us, past the line of people queuing to get into the club. He didn't seem to say anything else as I threw my arms around him and buried my head firmly into his chest. He saw that I was happy and didn't pry...I loved him for it. He did however raise his eyebrows suggestively which both Emily and I playfully slapped him for, he was a complete dick, but if you knew the softer side to him as I did; he became less of a wanker.

"Look who I found outside!" Cook announced our arrival to the rest of the group that were already there. Katie, Kyle, Freddie, JJ, Panda and Thomas all looked up from their respective drinks and stood one at a time to say hello properly. As I had presumed everyone had grasped the fact that Emily and I were back together, probably having something to do with Katie and her big mouth, but I didn't really care. It was less awkward than I thought it was going to be and I was filled with adoration that no one seemed to care about the annoying route Emily and I had taken to finally be together again. It just remained unspoken; something you could quite clearly tell everyone was thinking but was far too nice to say.

Cook looked to be on his fourth pint of the night already and Emily and I joined in with everyone else and ordered our dinks quickly, we were roughly three rounds behind. Emily's fingers laced through my own visibly on the table causing a few smirks, Panda just sat staring at us for a while...I think we had all managed to guess when she had finally twigged what the hell was going on.

"Whizzer, you two been making monkey!" She almost jumped back from the table with glee before hugging the smile completely off of our faces. Emily choked back a laugh and I just found myself staring longingly into her eyes for a moment, however brief, before a voice crashed through from behind us.

"Never took you long to catch on did it Panda?" Even the sarcasm in Effy's voice was hard to pick out, if you didn't know her as well as we all did, you would have sworn that she still had no emotion in her voice whatsoever. I glanced up to see Mel wander in behind her, looking..._embarrassed? I had never seen Mel embarrassed...this was weird._ Looking back over at the table I counted six smiles, Freddie had taken the opportunity to disappear somewhere, guess he wasn't completely over Effy yet, and losing her to the fairer sex had to be a complete kick in the crotch.

"This is Mel, we're together..." Effy certainly had a way with words and once again everyone around the table stood up and welcomed the newcomers. Mel took a seat next to me and I squeezed her knee slightly in reassurance, letting her know that she was going to be fine, we were all happy people who didn't give a flying monkey about who she was. The trip out had been a success just for the look on Cook's face, if his eyes were any further out of his head he would probably have been able to remove them completely.

The atmosphere had changed entirely, moving from an anguished conversation to something a lot more relaxed. I almost thought I saw Effy's face crack with something that wasn't just a routine smile. As much as I loved her, she was worse at sharing her emotions than me.

Four rounds of drinks later and we were all pretty fucked, Cook had wandered off to a table of girls dressed like rabbits and the rest of us were having a random conversation about impotence. Nothing makes a party go with a swing more than discussing the lack of child making ability with a group of your mates.

"I can't have kids..." Katie's admission made everyone else fall silent, Emily just looked over at her with sorrow welling up in her eyes. No one knew where exactly to look, it was one of those situations where a million things fly around in your head but you can't voice any of them. I decided my best course of action was to nudge Emily and encourage her to take her twin away for a little chat, even if it did leave me without her. I'm sure I could cope for a few minutes. With a brief parting smile Emily took Katie's hand and led her out towards the front of the club and as I glanced around the now silent table I noticed the frozen look on Kyle's face. _God, he hadn't known either. _

"Kyle...you ok?" Stupid question I know, but I had to make sure that he was still conscious or at least breathing.

"Yea, just grand thanks...oh except for the little fact that my girlfriend just exclaimed that she can't have fucking kids instead of telling me, you know...privately!." I always manage to put my foot in it, it's a gift...no matter what or how bad the situation is, I have an innate ability to make it worse. Kyle just wrenched his seat backwards and stormed off in the direction of the toilets, my cheeks flushed slightly as I stared at what was left of my pint before downing it in one. I decided it was time for another drink, or six, so I made my way over to the bar...Freddie was sat on one of the stools with a glazed expression on his face. We had never really been that close, he'd always been too wrapped up in Katie or Effy but he was a friend and he seemed broken. Something I can relate to, so I threw my arms softly around him and plunged his face a little too close to my cleavage in an attempt to get him to lighten up a little.

"Thanks..." He muttered as he pulled me a stool so I could sit down next to him.

"So, still not over Effy?" The music wasn't quite so loud over by the bar so we could communicate adequately without hafting to shout like crazy people.

"Nah, did you ever...you know manage to get over Emily..." I assumed he was going to go on and say, 'before you got her back' but his words just trailed off as if he were asking something he had no right to know. I debated lying, telling him that it is just a matter of time before everything would seem ok again but I don't think that would do him any favours.

"Freds, I honestly, don't know...there were times when I thought I was going to be ok, but there were also times when I couldn't think of anything except Emily, those times were tough. You've just got to believe that..." I took a breath and thought back to the words of encouragement and support my mum had given me.

"...If you are really meant to be with someone, then nothing will stop you, not even their sudden discovery of just how enjoyable muff-munching can be!" Freddie laughed slightly, hugged me and bought me a drink. _I could so be an agony aunt! Ask Naomi...it can only get better!_ I smirked slightly as the thought snowballed in my head and I came to the conclusion that I would actually be pretty rubbish at it!

An hour or so passed and eventually Emily ambled back into the club, I was still sat at the bar talking with Freddie, so I was just observing. Effy and Mel had disappeared once again probably popping pills or something. I took pity on the fact that Emily was stuck talking to Panda and JJ, from the look on her face she was being battered with words that didn't really make any sense and a magic trick that was still in progress. I gave Freddie's shoulder a reassuring squeeze and motioned that I was going back over to the table if he wanted to join me. He didn't, muttering something about how it was a mistake to come out tonight, so he thanked me again before leaving.

"Hey you, didn't think you were ever coming back..." I welcomed Emily with a quick peck on the lips before barraging my way into a conversation about metamorphosis. _I could bullshit with the best of them._ I couldn't completely relax due to the agonising truth that Emily's hand was playing with my house keys that were currently residing in my jean pocket. The smile that had appeared on her face suggested that she knew exactly how horny it was making me feel. Five minutes until the new year began and almost everything was perfect, except for the whole Katie's outburst and a heartbroken Freddie situation. I felt slightly helpless, I don't like seeing anyone upset, even if it is someone that I don't really talk to or someone that previously hated my guts. Everyone had the right to be just as happy as I was.

The music stopped as it neared midnight, everyone seemed to fidget with expectation. All I could think about was just how productive the last year had been, heartbroken...in the process of being fixed...random but amazing affair...realising I was still madly in love AND getting back with the love of my life. I felt exhausted just thinking about it but at least all was right with the world and my new year could start off on such a high. Mel appeared from nowhere and grabbed my arm, she was giggling like a maniac so I knew that she was on something. I was spun away from Emily before Mel jumped on her and shook her hand in a slightly confusing manner.

"Mel...what the fuck?" I found her laughter contagious so I chuckled slightly as the countdown began.

"Ha, Ef just told me...good on ya girl!" Mel was still talking to Emily, she hadn't even acknowledged my question.

"MEL!!" I shouted as loudly as I dared without making the entire room stop and stare at us, it was bad enough that everyone in the vaguely near vicinity was doing just that. But I didn't care, I was confused. She stumbled over towards me and took both of my hands in her own to steady herself, she was completely out of it. It would have been funny if I wasn't finding myself being slightly concerned at what she was thanking Emily for. The look on Emily's face wasn't giving much away either but her smile had disappeared, which made a small knot appear in my stomach.

"What is going on?" I asked Mel as slowly as possible just to make sure that my question sunk in this time.

"Seems like Effy and you have got something in common babes!" Her voice was far too loud for my liking considering how close her mouth was to my ear; Emily walked up behind her and took her arm in an attempt to pull her away from me.

"Come on Mel, fresh air might do you some good..." Emily trailed off but I didn't let go of Mel's hands, in fact I held her as tightly as possible and yanked her slightly so she faced me. I didn't have to say anything, my eyes were asking the question for me. Mel didn't seem to notice the completely negative affect her outburst was having on me as she continued to laugh, I needed to know what was going on and I needed to know NOW! I held my breath as she started to speak.

"Ha, yeah. You and Ef...Emily had her wicked way and managed to turn you both! That's impressive babe!" She rolled away laughing, not knowing that she had just made my entire flawless existence come crashing down around my ears. Maybe everything just isn't meant to be perfect.

**Uh oh...trouble in paradise! Please review, it really makes my day to hear what you all think...THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!!! :D**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ok, so...not a lot to say here, just that AGAIN I couldn't stop writing so you have another chapter to enjoy!! XD**

Emily had fucked Effy, I shouldn't be angry, I didn't have the right to be angry, but I was...I couldn't help myself. I hadn't gone home; I had spent all of last night just wondering around, unable to sleep, unable to even think about anything other than Emily and Effy. Bodies touching, lips, skin...I had punched a brick wall to make myself think of something else. Blood trickled over my knuckles, pain erupted through my hand but it still didn't help me to forget. I had no idea what the time was, my phone had died at four this morning after I had ignored three calls and countless texts from Emily, although judging by the light it must have been about seven. I was shivering, every bone in my body seemed to be frozen, drunken blankets are fun and all but when they wear off...it's colder than ever.

My face was stinging with the tears that had dried on my cheeks. Every gust of winter wind cut through me like glass and it didn't take long before I felt completely numb. Everything whirling around in my head was making me feel sick and the thought of going back and facing Emily was making everything so much worse. Although if I really thought about it, going back and finding her gone was probably even worse than that. I wasn't running, as such, more wandering around in circles until I found what I was looking for. The only problem being I don't think I even knew what that was. But I just kept walking, shivering and replaying the moment when my world tumbled down around me. I kept telling myself that I was blowing everything out of all proportion, so Emily had slept with Effy, we weren't together at the time. But I kept thinking that she should have told me, one of them should have told me. I thought we were having a fresh start, a clean slate where we had no secrets, where nothing remained unsaid and we were completely open and honest with each other.

"FUCK!" I just screamed into the air, hoping that it would relieve every single measure of emotion I was feeling. It just made my throat hurt against the cold.

"You, sound angry...maybe I should come back later..." Freddie was stood behind me, hands in the pockets of his dirty jeans with a half smile on his face. I guessed he had heard about last night; probably from JJ, there was no shutting him up when he got going. I didn't say anything; my brain was unable to change the thoughts whirring around to actual coherent sentences. So I just stood there, teary eyes gazing up at him without saying a word. He cleared his throat and walked towards me, wrapping me up in his arms and I just released my tears into his chest. He took my hand and led me away from the open road we were stood on; we walked for a few minutes before collapsing onto a bench near the fields. He draped one of his many jackets around my shoulders and my shivering slowed against the warmth of his body that remained in the material. His hand was still holding my own firmly, and for once I didn't pull away from the feeling of someone else that wasn't Emily. His hand seemed strangely soft and I didn't mind just sitting there in silence for a while until he took a breath and spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew...it's why Effy and I broke it off. They dated for a while at the end of college and went travelling together in the summer, I would have told you but I thought Emily already had." I gazed up into his eyes and could almost feel the remorse pour off of him, he felt so protective.

"It's in no way your fault, I wish she had told me, but she didn't and that's something I have to deal with...it shouldn't fucking hurt this much should it Freds? We were apart..." I paused for breath and found every fibre in my body shut down, my barriers were starting to build back up, I was closing myself off again and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"You love her, so I guess it is going to hurt no matter how you look at it...but you have a strong relationship, I'm sure you will sort it out." He did seem sure, if only I had half the confidence in Emily and I that Freddie did. My mind drifted briefly, away from everything, where a world existed where I didn't have to go through heartache, where Emily and I had never become Emily and I. Weighing up the options silently I tried to disprove the phrase 'it is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.' I couldn't, no matter how I thought about it there was only one thing I kept coming back to...I loved Emily and I would eventually hate myself if I didn't go and try to talk things through with her.

"Sorry about Effy..." I sniffled into his t-shirt and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Yea, me too..." He seemed to stare straight ahead, unblinking, I couldn't even read his expression. It seemed like he was thinking about nothing when I guessed there were more things going round in his head than there were in mine. I wanted to help him, reassure him like he had reassured me, but I didn't know what to say...I didn't think there was anything I could say.

"How did you know where I was?" I decided on an attempt at changing the subject, maybe that would make it easier for us both.

"I didn't, I just remembered where I used to go when I didn't feel anything...walking around like a blue arsed fly. I just followed my feet and found you." He smiled down at me before taking a spliff out of the tin he had in his pocket, lighting it and taking a few drags before passing it to me. Instantly calming, but I still couldn't forget.

"So I guess JJ let it slip..." I breathed out the lung full of smoke I had and handed Freddie back the spliff, he just shook his head.

"No, Emily texted me, I phoned her back and she told me what had happened, so I decided to come find you. Figured you could use a friend." His expression didn't change; neither did the tone in his voice but he shifted slightly in the bench. I moved away from him, giving him some sort of physical and mental space. He took my bloody scraped hand in his, looking it over he shook his head and smiled at me, showing me his own hand I noticed the few small white scars on his knuckles where I'm assuming he had done the same thing.

"Look, do yourself a favour, go find Emily, tell her that it really isn't that big a deal. Fuck sake Naomi, you're lucky you've got someone like her...not everyone would forgive you for what you did." I'd almost forgotten Freddie could be so dry, but he did make sense. I was overreacting and I was going to lose Emily again if I didn't do anything about this current situation.

He walked with me towards the road, took me almost all the way home, maybe his subconscious was telling him I was going to run again. When we eventually went our separate ways I found myself almost running towards home with the knot in my stomach tied so tightly at the thought that Emily wouldn't be there. That my bed wouldn't have been slept in and that the cold feeling would return. It wasn't until I was stood outside my own doorstep that I realised I still had Freddie's jumper. I figured I could return it to him when I went to thank him for saving my relationship...if there was anything left to save. _I hoped there was. _

"Naomi...is that you sweetheart?" My mum's voice streamed towards me from the front room, I didn't really want to talk to anyone except Emily, if she was even here.

"Yea, bit busy right now..." I loved my mum for being concerned but there was only one door left for me to push through. I pressed my palm lightly up against my bedroom door and listened intently just on the off chance I could hear her breathing. Nothing stirred, not even one of those adorable moans she sometimes lets out during sleep. I reached forward and paused slightly as my hand met the cold brass door handle and pushed it gently open. Emily's side of my bed was empty and cold. However red hair was draped all over my pillow and I was mesmerised by the way her eyelids fluttered slightly and her back effortlessly rose and then fell with each perfect breath. I debated waking her, but she looked so at peace, so magnanimous that I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Throwing all my clothes in a heap on the floor, I grabbed a giant shirt and slid myself into the bed next to her, her very essence seemed to linger on the pillow and I snuggled as close as I could without waking her. My eyelids grew heavy and as the sleep deprivation caught up with me, I started to drift off into an uninterrupted sleep. The last thing I remember was Emily moving backwards until my knees were tucked behind her own and my arm fell faultlessly over her until my hand brushed against the skin just below her stomach.

I didn't sleep for long, maybe a few hours, I couldn't really recall what time I had gotten in, but as I glanced at the clock it was just after noon. Everything in the house was quiet so I assumed mum and Kieran had gone out somewhere, the only sound I could hear was Emily's every breath. I listened for a while, smiling at how even in our sleep, we had managed to rearrange ourselves so that I was lying on my back with Emily's head resting on my chest. My arm was still wrapped tightly around her and I didn't stop myself from freeing a single kiss onto her forehead. With a slight smirk she awoke.

It took her a while to adjust to the fact that I was in bed with her, something she probably hadn't expected to wake up to. She sat up; I caught my breath as I started to see more of the perfect figure lying beside me. I had almost forgotten what I had been so adamant to do.

"I'm sorry..." I apologised so quickly, Emily just gazed up at me, with a rush of emotion in her face that made me feel terrible.

"...I didn't have any right to leave, we weren't together and just because I was being a pathetic moron doesn't mean that you had to. So you slept with Effy, then went travelling...I would be lying if I said I didn't care but, I overreacted...I'm so sorry." It all came out of me so fast, everything that had been buzzing around in my head cultivated into a few sentences, I was just left waiting for a slap or some form of punishment from the red head beside me. Nothing, she didn't move, she didn't attack me physically or mentally, she just sat up further. I was scared, a million horrendous thoughts filled my head and I chewed the inside of my lip in an attempt to postpone tears. It didn't work, I was ashamed of these tears, after all if I had trusted Emily more then I wouldn't be in this position and as such I wouldn't be crying. _Stupid thought cycles..._

I was looking at my hands, my legs, heck I even stared at the scab on my knee I had gotten from God knows where just so I didn't have to look at the hurt in her eyes. I had fucked it all up...AGAIN! I was expecting her to leave, but she didn't, in fact I felt her thumbs brushing back the tears that were crashing down my cheeks. She pulled my chin upwards until I was forced to look in her eyes but she was smiling at me, gently she leaned in and our lips met in a kiss that quickly deepened. Before I knew what was happening I pressed myself up against her and turned her onto her back, kissing my way down her neck and over her collarbone. I started biting ever so gently, with enough force to leave a small red mark. Emily writhed and groaned beneath me every time I did something she particularly enjoyed, her nails were digging slightly into my back and I was quickly relieved of my top. She was hunting for the sensation of skin on skin and as I removed her remaining items of clothing the desired state was achieved. I kissed down the entire length of her body before slipping my fingers inside her, a steady rhythm, speeding up ever so slightly as her legs began to twitch. My mouth and tongue were playing with her, flicking over her raging body before settling on her most sensitive point. Her back arched as she stumbled towards her high, shoving a third finger in I continued at an even pace, mouth, tongue, arms, fingers, my entire body working as one to bend to Emily's every desire. Her hips thudded up against me as she fell over the edge, holding her there for as long as possible I returned my lips to hers before collapsing down beside her as our breathing matched and finally slowed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..." Emily turned to face me and I brushed the hair out of her now gleaming face. She took my hand as she noticed the obvious bruising starting to appear on my knuckles. She brought my hand to her lips and kissed each knuckle as gently as possible making me tingle slightly.

"It's ok. I mean it Ems, I'm in this for the long haul...and besides, I learnt something today..." I paused again as she managed to push herself on top of me, straddling my waist with her knees.

"...I trust you completely." Emily kissed me, all the angst I had felt fled and I was left feeling nothing but elation. She started kissing along my jaw line, stopping briefly to nibble at my earlobe.

"Happy New Year." She whispered before continuing her assault on every single one of my senses.

**Please review it makes me happy...also to anyone who was wondering why Naomi reacted the way she did, I guess I just felt it would be what I would do...it wasnt just the fact that Emily had slept with Effy it was the fact that Emily hadn't told Naomi that made it even worse!!**

**All is well that ends well...A big thank you to everyone reading. Only a few chapters left of this one methinks!! :D**


	21. Chapter 21

**I ended up writing a little too much into this one so decided to delete half of it and save it for the next chapter, so hopefully this keeps you all satisfied until the next chapter is up later on! :D**

I had spent far too much of my 'beauty sleep' time staring at the very bland ceiling of my room. Every time Emily moved beside me, I shuddered and smiled into the darkness. I found myself just lying there, running my fingers gently over her skin and wondering how the hell I got so lucky. A few weeks had passed since the whole Emily and Effy scenario and I had managed to put most of it behind me. Being back at university helped a little, giving me an adequate distraction in the form of mind numbing reading. The only thing that kept niggling at me was the fact that it wasn't just a brief encounter; they had dated; and gone travelling...it was supposed to be me. I guess the knowledge that someone else had taken my place hurt more than anything but I wasn't going to let it destroy everything I'd managed to regain. I was just going to keep it bottled up inside me and never let it see the light of day...ever.

"Morning babe, I made coffee..." Emily wandered back into the room with two cups of steaming goodness; I sipped it carefully before giving her a peck on the lips. She cuddled back into bed beside me and planted a few more soft kisses along my neck.

"Hey you..." I always struggled with words in the morning but Emily always grinned at the effort, at least it wasn't like the old days when I ended up running away after we had spent the night together. Placing my mug down on the bedside table I snuggled myself back up into Emily's arms, it was Tuesday so I didn't have a lecture to run off to and I found myself debating spending the entire day in bed. Emily interrupted me from my thoughts as she walked her fingers up and down my spine.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Emily looked down at me so I momentarily removed my face from her neck enabling our eyes to meet. They always glowed so effortlessly in the morning I couldn't help but lean up until our lips met in a brief kiss.

"This isn't an option?" I whispered against her and felt a very pleased expression cross my face as Emily's skin was raised to goose bumps under my breath. We had been pretty much inseparable for the past two months so I was surprised that we still had such a massive effect on one another.

"Yea, for now...but the sun's shining, there has got to be something else we can do!" However much I disliked the thought of actually getting up, I had to admit that it sounded like a good idea to get out of this room. It was starting to remind me of some sort of prison, but in a really good way and it _was_ particularly warm for January. I don't honestly know what is happening to the good old British weather pattern of rain, rain and more rain but at least it was a pleasant change. I groaned slightly before removing myself from Emily and throwing on my pyjama bottoms and a baggy shirt.

"Right, so...what did you have in mind?" I thought it would be best to get the whole getting up thing out of the way as quickly as possible. But as I stared at Emily, still snuggled underneath my sheets I decided it was a huge mistake. She was just smirking at me with one eyebrow raised, biting her lip; looking completely gorgeous. I shook my head and folded my arms to try and maintain some of my composure, completely determined not to jump on her. It was tricky.

"Maybe, we could go for a picnic...you know to the lake." I gave in, jumping onto the bed and pushing myself on top of her, trailing a few light kisses over her mouth and neck. She kept licking her lips in that annoyingly sexy way that just made me even more turned on. I didn't act on it, I just pulled away, leaving her gagging for more and breathing very heavily...I smiled before leaving to make sandwiches and raid the fridge for beer, although I had no idea what we were going to put it all in. All I could think about was the fact that we were going to the lake...our lake, where we had made one of our first proper memories together.

Mel's room seemed quiet, I assumed that her and Effy had gone off somewhere to make some memories of their own. It was weird, all through college, I never once imagined that Effy would end up liking girls, then again I never once imagined that I would turn out to be as gay as a window. I chuckled as I finished shoving the collection of food I had managed to salvage into an old rucksack I had found in the collection of crap I had brought with me. Emily had already got herself ready and packed a few hundred blankets just in case the January weather crept up on us so I leapt into the shower and before I knew it I was on the back of Emily's scooter.

The lake was as beautiful as I remembered. The autumn leaves that were still scattered on the ground shone in the sun and as welcoming as the water looked I recalled how cold it had been in summer so wasn't even contemplating taking the chance this time. Emily and I just stood, side by side, holding hands, both thinking of the last time we were here.

"You're not going to end up running away again are you?" Emily glanced sideways at me and squeezed my hand slightly to let me know that she was joking.

"Not a chance..." I pulled her towards me and locked our lips together in a deep and passionate kiss. Fireworks exploded throughout my vision and I wrapped my arms tightly around her back as her hand cupped my face.

"Oh my god, babe, this is beautiful..." We were interrupted from our encounter by a familiar voice erupting behind me.

Turning around I noticed Mel and Effy, stood just staring at us and Emily seemed to stiffen in my arms. It felt like it took me far too long to realise what was going on...Emily had brought Effy here. _To our lake. I was so not ok with this._

"What the fuck Em? You brought her here..." I wasn't upset, I was angry...angry and numb, regardless of the fact that Emily and I weren't together at the time, this was still our place. She had no right desecrating it with Effy. She couldn't meet my eyes with hers; she was just staring at her hands, why the fuck was everything so hard?

"I'm waiting, just give me a fucking excuse as to why you thought it was ok to bring her here...to the place where I finally gave in to all of the feelings I had for you. You're right, everything is so fragile, but I do get it...do you?" My words seemed to burn right through her and I felt terrible for saying it but after all the strength I'd shown, I just couldn't seem to let it go. She didn't speak, no one spoke, Mel and Effy just stood there looking at the crazy person making a scene.

"Not saying anything, hun? No one fancy interrupting the loon? I persuaded myself it didn't matter, told myself that I was making a big deal out of nothing but...you've ruined it...you've fucking ruined it!" I threw the bag into the lake, watching momentarily as the ripples flowed before eventually disappearing. Then I stuffed my hands in my pockets and just walked away, she couldn't explain and I think that hurt more than anything. She didn't even shout at me, didn't call my name, didn't try...I managed a brief look back and my stomach tightened as I saw Emily collapse, her legs just seemed to give way. I couldn't stop a tear from gleaming down my cheek and no matter how madly in love with Emily I was; I didn't go back. I just kept walking, listening to each of my footsteps echo on the stoned ground, hoping beyond hope that she would fight for me.

***

Two days passed, I hadn't slept, hadn't eaten anything, the only light I had seen was that from the forty watt bulb currently illuminating my own personal darkness. Emily hadn't phoned, no texts, nothing. Even after everything, part of me kept hoping that she would burst through my door all guns blazing and tell me what a prick I was, tell me that I had no right blowing up like I did but she was sorry. My door remained closed. Mel seemed to the get the picture that I really didn't want to be disturbed as the only time she had bothered me was to push some work under my door that Jake had obviously popped round. I loved that he wanted to keep me up to speed, but I don't think even 'the globalisation of world views' was going to make me feel better. The only thing that was going to make me feel better had a one in a million percent chance of actually happening.

I tried to stop my mind from looking back, tried to stop the thought creeping into my head about how many times I hadn't fought for Emily, how many times I had just run away. But it was all I could think about, why should she fight for me when all I had done was run? Obviously my own self-hate circle ended up in me blaming myself, without the warmth of Emily's touch or the sensation of her lips against mine it was hard to be positive.

It's never good to keep things bottled up, it generally leads to an explosion. In my case every ounce of maturity and strength that I had, accumulated in me flying off the handle at the one person who had ever made their way in through my barriers. I loved Emily, so why couldn't I get over what had happened between her and Effy...why couldn't I just let it go? I was emotionally drained, I couldn't even stare at the blank wall anymore; I needed something to focus on, something to help me regain a little bit of the soul I had lost.

Rolling over I opened the top draw of my bedside cabinet and pulled out the photograph I had kept hidden for so long. I looked at the smiling faces, looked at the seventeen year old me holding onto Emily so tightly. It was before everything, before Sofia, before the breakup, before the affair, before getting back together, before Effy...Memories flooded back into my brain and I found myself wondering about the ultimate circumstance. How different would everything have been if I hadn't been a complete cock and cheated on her, how happy we could be if I hadn't lied. I knew I loved Emily, I think I even knew that Emily loved me but I guess we both had things we couldn't forget, things that we were both too scared to face. Relationships are never easy.

As I sat there completely wrapped in my own self-loathing I managed a glance over to the chair by my dresser, still adorned with Freddie's jacket. I remembered how much help he had been when the shit hit the fan so I managed to persuade myself to take a walk, then a bus, then another walk. I'd only ever been to Freddie's once and I was drunk at the time so I am very pleased with myself that I managed to navigate my way back there. I didn't even know if he was still at home, I'd recalled our conversations and realised that he hadn't mentioned where he was living, whether he was at university or not...but I needed to try.

Knocking gently on the door, I was regaled with silence; there was no one home. I started to walk away before I noticed that the gate leading into the back garden was open. _The shed..._I took it upon myself to wander round into the garden and knock on yet another door. This time it was opened by a clearly mashed Freddie, even in his fucked state he seemed to notice how upset I was so he pulled me into a hug, even if it was at arm's length so he didn't burn me with the spliff he currently had on the go.

"Couldn't let it go?" His voice was barely above a whisper as he motioned me inside. I didn't speak, just shook my head and grabbed his spliff off of him. He moaned slightly with annoyance but let me take a few drags before wrestling it off of me.

"No...She took Effy to the lake, where we...You know, fucked for the first time." Freddie coughed out a lung full of smoke and raised his eyebrows at me before laughing a little.

"It's not funny..." I managed a few words before he slumped down next to me on the sofa and pulled my head into his arms.

"Naomi, I'm not laughing at you...I've never heard you talk like that before, it took me by surprise, that's all." Freddie continued chuckling again which made my head wobble slightly against him. I frowned slightly and he instantly stopped, handing me back the spliff. Taking a few slow drags I felt myself instantly calm and I realised why he had been laughing so much...this shit was strong.

"Look, Nai...It's not going to happen overnight, you need to just give her time to explain. I think that's what you need, you know...a good sit down talk through!" I had no idea how he knew so much about everything or knew just what to say to make me feel so much better about everything._ Where was he when I had all the shit going on last summer_?

"Yea, except it all blew up two days ago, surely she would have..._tried_...by now." My words seemed to ricochet off of his chest, which made me laugh; either that or it was the growing effect of weed. I wasn't sure which.

"Maybe, she was scared?" He was right and I think I hated him a little bit for it. I remembered how scared I had been throughout most of our relationship and was suddenly hit with the realisation of the entire situation.

"I need to see her..." I tried to get up and failed miserably, it took me a while to notice that it was because Freddie was holding onto me quite tightly.

"Freds, let me go...I need to get to her and tell her that I was a twat...AGAIN." I was being a soppy prick, I knew I was but the only thing I could think of was seeing Emily.

"No, you're not going anywhere...you can't keep holding in your feelings, Emily needs to know that you were hurt by what she did. If you run to her now everything you've been through will be for nothing!" He made so much sense so I slouched back into the sofa and grabbed the convenient bottle of sambuca from the table and took three long swigs, feeling the liquid burn down my throat. It didn't take long before we were both completely fucked.

**So...yea, hopefully even with my major editing it still slowed ok...Review please!! I have had some lovely comments so far so keep em coming! A big thank you to everyone reading...next chapter should be up either tonight or tomorrow! YAY**


	22. Chapter 22

**Yup, once again just couldn't stop writing...I'm a sad sack and this chapter almost made me cry but hopefully all you crazy people reading it will enjoy it! :D only kidding...love you all really! :D**

I can't really remember what happened next, maybe something to do with the fact that I had tried to drink my own body weight in aniseed flavoured shit and passed out. I don't know how long I had been out, hopefully a few years and eventually all the crap had been forgotten and I could just get on with my life...alone. But alas, as my eyes adjusted to the new darkness residing in the shed, I could just make out the silhouette of Freddie sleeping in the chair.

Fumbling around in my pocket I managed to locate my phone and as it lit up under my touch my head started to scream and I didn't even have any texts to make me feel slightly better about everything. The date illuminating in the top left hand corner lovingly told me that it was one o'clock, Friday morning. I sighed and debated slumping back into the comfy sofa but quickly realised that I had a crook in my neck that hurt like a bitch. Sitting up I started to rub at it in the vague hope that at some point soon I would be able to move my head without wincing in pain. The faint silver light illuminated through the clear window and I started to see my surroundings more clearly. There was the sofa, an arm chair, a few tables and half a car as furniture but the walls were completely white and there was a rather large mirror across in front of me, with a ballet bar? I frowned slightly in confusion until I realised that even if Freddie was awake he still probably wouldn't be able to see my questioning expression.

My head was still spinning as I hauled myself to my feet and wandered outside, figured I could do with some fresh air. I'm not sure whether it was still the drugs but the night sky was beautiful, not a cloud in sight. The way the moon tipped the trees with silver and made everything look like black and white was striking and as the stars swam around my vision I couldn't help but smile. The street lights had decided not to work which for some reason made it all seem much quieter, much more peaceful.

"It's a lovely night, isn't it?" My eyes snapped down in front of me and I was faced with an Emily Fitch wearing exactly the same clothes she had been when I had seen her last. I had a million words in my arsenal, a million things I could have said but my mind still freezes every single time I see her. _Fuck sake Naomi...grow a back bone!_

"It was..." I tried to sound as pissed off as possible but instead I sounded a little bit too much like a pre-pubescent boy, whose voice was currently breaking. Emily didn't seem fazed, she just looked messed up, tired and as empty as I was.

"Naomi...oh sorry, didn't realise you had company..." Freddie's voice emerged then disappeared from behind me but he didn't move, he just kind of stood there, reassuringly, waiting for me to give him the nod that I was going to be ok by myself. I turned to look at him and smiled slightly.

"No, don't worry...Emily was just leaving." He looked effortlessly back at me with a half hearted attempt at a sarcastic grin before shutting the door behind him and leaving me the enviable task of facing Emily.

"Don't be like that...please; I know you're hurting but..." Emily's voice was quiet and precise so I didn't give her chance to pick out her next few words.

"Don't be like what Emily? I cheated on you and you didn't even look at me for nearly seven months and even when you did eventually look at me...it was a fucking accident. Now I know that I wasn't, with you, when you fucked Effy next to _our _lake, so maybe three months should do it..." I started to turn around, not giving her the satisfaction of seeing the tears begin to roll down my cheeks. Before I got anywhere near to the shed door I felt her fingers digging into my arm and pulling me around to face her.

"You don't get to do this...you don't get to be the one to fucking do this. I was a mess because of you, I had nothing, my sister hated me, my mum hated me, all of my friends, were your friends too...I was left completely alone with nowhere to turn." Emily's face was shining with tears, her hand was shaking against my skin and it took every bit of strength I had left not to just wrap her up in my arms and forget everything.

"You didn't give me chance to explain, you just left and then refused to even look at me, let alone actually let me talk to you. I sent you forty three texts and left you nineteen voicemail messages that day...nothing. Not even a considerate 'fuck off' you just let me keep trying and trying." A small desolate laugh escaped my lips as I thought back to every single attempt I had made to get Emily to talk to me.

"I wrote, I'd do anything, because I really would have done anything...nothing could have hurt me more than the pain I was feeling as I watched you just walk away. And if that wasn't enough, I kept putting myself out there, kept putting my fucking neck on the chopping block but every time I was faced by you fucking bodyguard of a sister and every time it broke me just a little bit more watching you ignore me." I ran out of words, ran out of strength and just collapsed with my back resting against the shed door and my tears flowing freely. I'd always tried not to cry in front of people, making sure that my emotions stay hidden and making damn sure that no one could use them against me. Only my mum, Katie...and now Emily had actually seen me cry, if I had any strength left in my legs I would be running, but I had nothing, just sadness.

"It hurt me too, walking away was the hardest thing I had ever done, as soon as I got home it was all 'I told you so' and 'we'll find you a nice boy!' It just made everything worse and it didn't take long for me to completely shut off. I was like a zombie for most of that college year, Katie just pranced me around acting like I was some kind of fucking trophy. But I couldn't bring myself to look at you because I thought you would have forgotten me...even though you kept running, I knew how strong you were and I didn't want to see that you had used that strength to get over me." I felt Emily sit down beside me, I shuffled slightly but could still feel her body heat against my own, I lit a cigarette and gulped down as much nicotine as possible in the first three breaths. I was shaking, partly against the cold, partly because I was so bloody hung over but mostly I was shaking because every single part of my body still ached for Emily and it was a physical strain not to act upon it.

"Yeah, well, I didn't, I hadn't...getting over the love of your life isn't something you can just _do_, I still hadn't done it when you came rampaging back into my life via my roommate's bed. I was trying, Mel was helping but I was just swimming around in fucking circles trying to escape the fact that I might never get over you." I finished my fag almost too quickly and ended up coughing out the last drag which made my eyes water even more. _Great!_

"You seemed to move on though, Freddie said you started dating Effy towards the end of college...and went travelling..." The bitterness escaped through my words, the spite and anger I had within me at the fact that Effy had done everything with Emily that I was supposed to, came leaking out and I felt her attention shift.

"Yea, but it should have been you...Effy was just company, and I was just a distraction, keeping her from thinking about Freds, she was actually scared of loving him...so you had better warn Mel..."

"I think Mel can look after herself, and it's not her we are talking about..." I felt bad for interrupting, but I didn't want anyone to get in the way of the fact that we were actually talking about everything. Maybe this was going to let us finally have a new start with absolutely no secrets. I don't think I could handle any more unexpected surprises. Emily continued.

"Ok...I was just compensating, trying in my own idiotic way to recreate some of the things we had, before everything just got fucked up. Every second Effy and I were together I kept hoping that I would blink and suddenly it would be you, but it never was, so I kept lying to myself, trying to force myself to feel something that I was never going to feel for anyone but you." Emily paused and let out a deep breath which melted the cold air around us and imprinted itself against the night sky. I didn't interrupt this time; just let her catch her thoughts.

"Effy was nothing and she knew it, like I said in the park...it's always been you. And I didn't take her to the lake, she followed me after we had a minor argument, got me high off my tits and took advantage...it meant nothing and it's why I ended it. In the process of trying to forget you I had lost something that was so sacred to the core foundation of the relationship we had shared. It was our special place and I had ruined it." Emily seemed so sincere; she had stopped crying and just looked deadened and tired. I guessed she hadn't been home, or slept a lot since the whole argument thing, it hurt me to see her like this. I remained in complete silence, staring at the way the moonlight gleamed off of the bolt on the gate that led back out towards the front of the house.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you any of this, I guess I thought that if it all remained a secret it wouldn't fucking hurt anyone, I'll understand if this is the end Naoms..." Her voice trailed off as she got up to leave, I don't know whether it was the use of my nickname or the fact that everything we had was finally on the table, but I heaved myself to my feet and grabbed her hands in mine.

"You're a stupid cow, I told you I couldn't stop loving you and don't you even think you are going to get to leave me again..." I pressed my nose slightly into the back of her head and inhaled the soft scent of her perfume mixed together with her shampoo, it was dizzying. She moved her arms, with mine, crossing in front of her, my palms rested against the material lightly covering her abdomen and I raised my knuckles gently.

"Are you two done...yet...?" Freddie almost stopped mid sentence in the light of what he was disturbing, but I just chuckled slightly at his cute attempt to avert his eyes. He looked slightly scared of the fact that if he stared for too long he might catch 'gay', Emily and I both turned to face him.

"Nah, you're alright Freds, thanks but Emily and I were just leaving..." I smiled as he finally decided to look at me. He nodded almost immediately at the amount of thanks there was in my face, I couldn't believe just how much he had helped me and wanted him to know that I was grateful. _Maybe I should bake him a cake?_ I smiled as the thought crossed my mind and Freddie excused himself to the safety of closed doors allowing me to return my full attention to Emily.

She had turned around and her eyes met mine again, I crooked up my lips into a half smile and leant in gently until I could feel her breath on my chin. She closed the distance between us expertly and the kiss deepened in a swirling of tongues and emotional release. I pulled away briefly, in desperate need of air and paused as there seemed to still be something niggling in her eyes, something painful, something that she didn't seem to want to let go.

"No more secrets?" I tried once more, knowing that after everything, if it was important she would tell me. I was more than worried when she turned away from me and bowed her head to the ground.

"Ems, you're scaring me, babe, what is it?" I held her hand firmly, refusing to let go of the one piece of contact we had left. I saw her take a couple of deep breaths, each one an attempt to say exactly what was going through her head.

"It's...uh, Katie broke it off with Kyle and managed to tell mum she can't have kids, and James has been bullying other kids at school and..." Emily paused, again, I hated it when she paused, it always meant that something absolutely bloody awful was coming next. I regained her other hand as some form of silent reassurance that I was still here, standing beside her, ready to face anything.

"Mum's moving them both back to Scotland...and they need me..." I think I stopped breathing.

_Maybe I wasn't ready for anything..._

**So...yeah, it's kind of one GIANT conversation, I was going to have some other things happen in this chapter but it didnt seem to fit! Hope it was enjoyable! You all know the drill...review please, it makes me happy! And ta muchly for reading...**


	23. Chapter 23

**Ok, so considering this weeks episode of skins left me feeling emotionally drained and wanting to scream obscenities at the television I thought I would update the next chapter just to give you lovely people something to take your minds off of the whole skins series 4 scenario! Enjoy... :)**

I'm not sure of the technicalities behind how long your heart can actually stop beating before you die, but I am pretty sure that my heart had not functioned properly for a good three minutes. I felt winded, like when I fell off of the swings as a kid and bashed my chest into the ground. It seemed that no matter how many deep breaths I took I couldn't maintain any sort of focus. The only thing I could feel was Emily held so tightly against me that her gradually slowing sobs shuddered against my core. My face was buried in the crook of her neck, her arms fixedly around my shoulder and mine retrospectively around her waist. I wanted to cry, the lump in the back of my throat told me that, but Emily needed strength right now and I just needed a fucking time machine, maybe I could go back in time and solve everything. I remembered quickly that Dr Who wasn't about to fall from the sky and stop a useless, slightly hormonal and completely loved up girl from losing her girlfriend; so I just let Emily cry, holding her so delicately but so precisely, never wanting to let her go.

_Come on Naomi, you've lost her before, so it was fucking horrible, there was a massive emotional gap. This time...it's just distance. Fuck sake, you've only just got her back, suck it up you big lezzer and tell her everything is going to be ok. She fucking needs you. But...you just can't bear to let her walk away can you? You just can't stand the thought of her walking away from you again. So what...are you going to try and persuade her not to go? Try and persuade her that she can't do the right thing as it would hurt you too much. Fucking selfish prick. How many times has Emily MADE you do the right thing? Hmmmmm? Too many to count. I can't believe you're fucking debating this with me you dumb fuck...you know what you have to do. So do it..._

"When do you leave?" My voice cracked under the massive strain that was keeping me from turning into a quivering mess. Emily had ceased crying, she was just breathing heavily into my chest so I moved my right hand up towards the back of her neck and started running my fingers through her hair.

"I never said; I was..._going..._"Emily's eyes were surrounded in the red rawness of her emotions, a significant reminder of the tears she had finished crying. I was numb and as I stared into her pain filled eyes I softened my face as much as possible, took her hand and silently walked her though the night.

Our hands were freezing, but together, fingers intertwined perfectly, facing the elements as one steady unit. I just kept walking almost dragging Emily along in maintainable silence, neither one of us dared to speak as we both knew just how rare the moment was when we were utterly alone. No cars drove past, no random cats walked across in front of us, there wasn't even one of those annoying flickering street lights to interrupt the two of us. It was like the entire world understood just how important this moment was and didn't want anything to ruin it.

I'd forgotten how short the walk from Freddie's to Emily's was, probably because I've never actually walked it before but seemed to have an innate ability to know exactly where I was going. I think Emily knew too because she stopped, poignantly at the end of her street and pulled me around to face her. She shook her head before looking straight down at her shoes. I pulled her hand up to my mouth and let the warmth of my lips wander across her skin, silently telling her that I was right here...noting was going to happen. She yielded slightly and we continued the few short steps until we were both stood staring at the outside of her house.

I noticed her scooter was parked in the drive and still had the numerous blankets attached to it that we _were_ going to use when we went to the lake. I grabbed them and threw them down on the small front garden, sitting there I wrapped the thickest one around my shoulder and motioned for the very confused looking Emily to join me. She sat down next to me and I cuddled myself and the blankets around her and our lips met briefly before I returned my eyes to the stars.

"You know, you've got to go right?" I looked sideways at her and once again laced our fingers together, resting our hands gently in my lap.

"You want me to go?" Emily frowned a little, before staring at her knees.

"I never said I wanted you to go, but you're right, Katie and James, just in there, no more than a few meters away... " I motioned behind me towards the light straining from the lounge window... "Need someone to stop the barrage that is your mother...they need you and the strength you have by not giving a crap what your mum thinks. Maybe it won't be permanent, but for now...they need you." We lead down onto the duvet beneath us, Emily rested her head into my chest and draped her arm over my stomach; I just smiled slightly into the almost dark.

"I don't want to leave you..." Emily's already hushed voice seemed silenced by the material of my shirt, but in the complete quiet of the night I heard every word.

"I know, but your mum can be a right cow, Katie will need her twin more than anything, she will need you to get her through this; besides it's not like we're never going to see each other again...we'll meet up when we can and talk every fucking day. I don't want you to leave but, I think this is something you need to do." I whispered against her hair, hoping somehow that the quiet of the whole situation would mean that it didn't really exist and that tomorrow things would go back to normality. Where Emily and I just existed together and were completely drowned in the moment, but nothing looked further away from reality right now.

"So...I'll ask again, when do you leave?" She shuffled in my arms and nuzzled her nose into my neck, placing a few soft kisses up towards my ear before she was eventually on top of me, staring down into my presumably now hollow eyes. My hands busied themselves around Emily's back and pulled her hips down towards mine, making sure that every inch of our bodies that could touch...was touching.

"Monday...we're leaving on Monday..." I swallowed hard to try and dislodge my heart that had somehow managed to jump into the back of my throat. The realisation that we had just under three days left together hit me hard but I just held her against me.

"So what do you want to do?" I tried to stay positive, tried to maintain as much strength as possible, we needed to make the most of the time we had left. I found myself wondering why everything was coming towards me so quickly, wishing that it would all just stop...or at least slow down. Three days was nothing, seventy two hours, four thousand three hundred and twenty minutes. I started kissing her, hard and fast, trying to dissolve myself into every part of her. I bit down gently across her neck leaving the beginnings of a red mark, I felt her take a deep intake of breath as I continued kissing every available millimetre of exposed skin.

"I want...this; I want you, but not here..." She jumped off of me, sending the warmth evaporating into the ice cold night and offered me her hand with a crooked smile and a very cute wrinkled nose. I took her hand in my own and clambered to my feet. We left the blankets where they were, in a heap on the ground. They seemed so warm and comfortable against the cold but this was Emily's weekend and if she wanted me to freeze my tits off to go somewhere else then that is exactly what I was going to do. In her wisdom Emily left a little note in the middle of the duvet exclaiming 'Emily and Naomi FUCKED here!' before knocking on her own door and running me through the streets towards my home. I laughed at the thought of Jenna finding it and burning the sheets where they lay and then smiled as I thought back to the time I had received one of Emily's notes, I never thought a piece of paper would have meant so much.

"You're a fucking fool...you know that?" I yelled after Emily as we neared the corner of the street that my house was on.

"Yea; but I'm your fool!" She laughed as she ran towards me and rugby tackled me into next door's hedge, I squealed slightly but still ended up falling in a large heap as Emily landed on top of me. I had to move quickly as a branch had lodged itself far to near to my arse than I liked it, so I shuffled my weight around.

"Fucking hell babe...why?" I pushed the now furiously giggling Emily off of me and heaved myself onto my feet, before helping her up so we could both continue chuckling like lunatics until we reached my front door step.

"Sorry, just felt like taking hold of the moment!" She started laughing which I silenced hastily as I pressed my lips hard against her own; she seemed slightly stunned by the force and want behind it but quickly allowed it to deepen. She was shoving me backwards into the door, running her hands all over me, making me crave for the touch of her lips, making me long for the feeling of her naked body against my own. I fiddled around behind me as her lips and tongue burnt their way down my neck, eventually I found the door handle and stumbled inside. Considering the fact that I was going backwards and managed to stay roughly upright I was incredibly pleased with myself. Emily seemed to want exactly the same thing as me, she was pushing me instinctively towards my bedroom door, I was trying to be as quite as possible but when she slipped her hand underneath my shirt I couldn't help but scream a little against her cold skin.

My bedroom door was opened and then quickly shut again, hands ripping off clothing, mouths kissing and biting softly on skin, fingers running down the length of newly naked bodies. She felt so good, heavy breathing and a few subtle moans filled the silence that resonated through my bedroom. She had pushed herself on top of me and her fingertips were tracing down my stomach, agonisingly close to where I needed her. She plunged warm kisses all over my chest, flicking her tongue aggravatingly over one nipple then the other. My back arched and she used it as the perfect opportunity to slip her fingers inside me, moving instantly in that faultless rhythm that got me every time.

Her pace quickened, a moan escaped me that was louder than anticipated but I didn't care, it was ecstasy, she had me close, my body was thudding against hers.

"Fuck...mmhmm, Jesus...Emily..." I let out a few solemn words through my exasperated breathing and she quickly and expertly allowed a third finger to make its way inside me. Her other free hand toyed expertly with my body, nails running lightly down my sides or twisting my nipple between her fingers, every part of me started to tingle and my vision fogged. Her mouth joined the battering of my core and I flew over the edge, gradually slowing until she had eventually stopped completely she just held me, gazing down into my eyes as I tried to focus. A few seconds passed before I was actually able to speak.

"That was...amazing...I mean it's always really good, but that was...wow..." My mouth was completely dry so as I attempted to get my breath back I grabbed the bottle of weird alcoholic elixir that I keep in my top draw at home and took a giant swig. I scrunched up my features and handed it to Emily for her to do the same, waiting as the warmth of everything floated through my body.

"Well, you know...someone once had a huge conversation with me about oils and stuff, but...turns out you really don't need them..." She giggled into the bottle before taking another long swig, I didn't care that she was taking the piss out of me; I just played with the hair that was dangling over her face. She looked so breathtaking when she laughed, she looked bloody gorgeous all the time, but when she laughed, there was just something...magical about the way her eyes squinted slightly or the way her nose crinkled. I was completely in love with every single thing about her.

"What?" She put the bottle onto the cabinet nearest her and propped herself up on her elbow so she could get a better look at me.

"Nothing...you're just...beautiful when you smile, fuck Emily, you're beautiful every second...I guess I just wanted you to know that you're fucking hot!" The almost embarrassed expression that was creeping onto Emily's face was eventually replaced with a smile and she seemed to accept the complement. I pouted slightly and raised my eyebrows in the hope of another kiss. Emily didn't disappoint and we spent the rest of the night cocooned in a bed full of passion, lust and an underlying sense of despair.

**Please dont hate me too much...at least it's going better than series four so far! (And there is only one episode left...I am starting to worry!!)**

**Thank you all for reading, please continue to review...and if you havent yet reviewed...REVIEW!! :D Love, love, love you all! **


	24. Chapter 24

**This was again really difficult to write, far too much emotion, but hopefully you all like it and are happy! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing...Enjoy... :D**

Monday morning, I had always hated Mondays, always, since primary school...it wasn't that I disliked school as such, I disliked the fact that I had to spend a week within the confines of the British educational system, , and Monday signified the beginning of that week.

But this particular Monday signified something else; it was taking away my girlfriend, the love of my life and a good chunk of my heart. I was just sat in the middle of my bed, staring at the wall, trying to contemplate how I was going to be anywhere near ok without Emily. Thinking about it wasn't helping; in fact it was just making it all seem far too real. Wandering over to the limited CD collection I still had at home I shuffled through them to try and find something that might help take my mind off of the clock. Something that would help me try and forget that in a few hours Jenna would be taking Emily away from me. A small smile flashed across my face as I noticed one of the first CD's I had ever bought and still one of my favourites...'Karmacode' by at the time a little known band called Lacuna Coil.

As I let the familiar music wash all over me, I was still just sat there...but it seemed that the sounds and the lyrics were making it all seem more distant.

'There's no time to deny that I need you.  
And I'll be there to repair your delightful days.  
There's no time to deny that I need you.  
That's why I'll be there to relieve your painful days.'

It was the perfect choice, it seemed like they were melodising everything that I was thinking. Music always seems to drown out all the things you are trying to escape; it's something you can lose yourself in.

Emily was coming over as soon as she could; we were going to spend as much time together this morning as possible. Her mum had actually agreed to come and get her from mine which was a little strange, I ended up thinking that it was all an act and she wasn't going to let Emily out of the car or something. I kept telling myself that even Jenna couldn't be that mean, but that was a complete lie, she could be that mean and she had been.

"Lacuna Coil? Is everything that bad sweetheart?" My mum bundled her way into my bedroom with a giant plate of pancakes; she always used food to make me feel better.

"Yea, I'm going to miss her mum..." I'd already told her the ins and outs, I haven't been sleeping much so on Saturday night, when I couldn't bear to watch Emily sleep I had wondered into the kitchen at the convenient moment that my mum was making cocoa.

"I know, but you love her, so I know that you will make it work..." She handed me the plate and I didn't have the courage to tell her that if I ate anything I would probably be violently ill. So I just took it and took a few small grateful bites before setting it aside.

"Do you really think it will be ok?" I looked up at exactly the same shining blue eyes as my own and somehow noticed that the same exhaustion and almost sadness was strewn across her face. She had always liked Emily, loved the fact that I had actually let someone in...Guess I wasn't going to be the only one to miss her.

"Yea, I really do...look at what you have already come through, this is just another step towards the rest of your life, what doesn't kill us..." She kissed me on the forehead and I took it upon myself to finish her sentence for her.

"...Makes us stronger..." She nodded and sat there with me for a while, listening as the CD repeated itself. It was nearly nine when the doorbell rang and we both jumped to our feet. We ended up having our own little personal race to the door, which mum won and I ended up in a pile at the bottom of the stairs. I heard the door open and the slight groan as mum had grabbed her into a hug and was more than likely squeezing the life out of Emily.

"Mum...let her go..." I stood with my arms lightly folded against my chest smiling at the way Emily had embraced my mother's outstretched arms. It wasn't just politeness, they both genuinely cared about each other...it was amazing that we were getting along with at least one of our parents. I smiled at Emily when my mum finally relinquished her and she practically ran towards me, throwing her arms around me and snuggling her head into my chest before pushing her lips against mine. Mum just stood at the doorway smiling like a complete nut, I felt my cheeks flush but I just looked at her and held Emily tightly as I felt the tears start to fall down my cheeks.

We didn't do much, and said even less...we just lay there in the silence, waiting for the inevitable sound of the front door. Emily's head was in my lap and I kept running my fingers through her hair and she just kept brushing her fingers over my knee. My head was full of the words I wanted to say to Emily before she left, it was almost like I was practising...even though as soon as I tried to actually say them I would just freeze. I would just end up staring at her leave, and crying...there would be lots of crying. I'd written her something, a letter, well more like a note, to say the things that I knew I was not going to be able to say. It was mum's idea actually, something Emily could take with her and read over and over again; something to make absolutely certain, that in the brief moments that I wouldn't be on the phone with her, she wouldn't be able to forget me.

We dissolved ourselves completely in one another, joking, drinking a little and just holding each other delicately. Every part of me hurt, every smile was false but every second was perfect. No more than an hour or so passed and the doorbell rang through again, I sighed, Emily froze and my mum knocked on my door.

"Come on...time to face the reaper!" Emily laughed a vacant laugh and I smiled before kissing her longingly, one last kiss between just the two of us. I stood up and took her hand, leading her through to the front door as slowly as possible, hoping that her mum would change her mind and they wouldn't have to go. We hit the fresh air far too soon, and my eyes jumped up to the maroon people carrier. It was Katie at the door, Jenna had stayed within the safety of her 'non gay' car, pretending not to hate me.

"She doesn't fucking hate you; you know...just the idea of you..." Katie muttered towards me with complete sincerity.

"Thanks Katie, I'll miss you too...and sorry about the whole not being able to have kids thing and Kyle...that sucks." I turned towards her and held out my hand, figuring she would really appreciate a hug from the muff muncher. I was wrong and she hurled her arms around me, I returned the motion and gave her a weirdly long hug. She returned to the car without another word, leaving me looking into the equally broken face of Emily.

I've never been any good at goodbyes, it seems so final. Like it's the last thing in the world you ever want to say but it always manages to creep out. But when you have to say it to someone that you really care about; you completely lose all focus. Your mouth goes entirely dry, you start to shake a little and you breathe just that little bit heavier trying to hold back the tears that you told yourself not to cry. Each breath is a strain on your entire body as your pulse makes its way to your clenched tissue filled hands. Sometimes you close your eyes and take one deep, solid, never ending breath but that just gives the tears a chance. And as you look up into the heavens that first glistening droplet glides effortlessly towards your chin. Wiping it away with an unsteady hand you release everything, throw all emotion to the wind and just say it.

"Bye, I'll miss you..." I cried, floods of tears, every part of me was in agony, the knot in my stomach was so big I just wanted to fall to the ground. Emily seemed to mirror my expression, this moment was going to kill the both of us. She took my hands in her own before she spoke.

"Yea, you too..." She whispered, it was hard for her to even speak. Never has so much been said in so few words, it was comforting in some twisted way to know that we knew each other so well no words need to be uttered. That silence was completely acceptable. I pulled her into me, inhaled her perfume, felt her hands against my back and the wetness of her tears started to run through my shirt. Burying my head in her neck for a few brief seconds before kissing her, openly and honestly, I didn't give a fuck about her mum, didn't really give a fuck about anything other than Emily. She kissed me back, passionately yet full of remorse, every part of us was saying goodbye. A couple of pecks later and I pulled away...

"Go...before I change my mind..." I smiled as much as I could as I let go of the only contact we had left, she scrunched up her eyes tightly and swallowed hard before turning and running to the car.

And with that...she was gone, she didn't look back which was probably a good thing because as soon as the car pulled away I collapsed to the ground. Mum rushed over to me instantly, wrestled with me in her arms. I was screaming, tears were in full flow and didn't look like stopping, my heart had exploded in my chest and I felt sick. I pulled at my own hair, cawing at it, trying desperately to feel something, anything, but all I could feel was the rush of complete heart-rending truth of the entire situation. I felt empty, like there was nothing inside me anymore, like I just didn't seem to exist.

The only thing that was keeping me breathing was the fact that I had hope and complete belief in Emily and our relationship. In part I was glad we had gone through all the shit, it gave me trust and renewed confidence in the strength of our relationship. I also had hope that one day, not too far from now I would see her again...after all its hope that keeps us going, without hope...I would have nothing.

***

_Emily, _

_I couldn't find the words to let you know just how much I love you, so I bought myself a dictionary and decided that I would write this. I think I have known for a while that you were the one, I just didn't want to admit it to myself as it would have made me GAY...but you were my first kiss. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel, so I managed to persuade myself that the fireworks and heart wrenching agony when it was over, was completely not how it was supposed to be. And I was fucking wrong. Every guy I've ever kissed felt horrible in comparison but I still couldn't let myself give in to the feelings I had for you...I'm a stubborn cow, we both know that. _

_But then came college and let's face it...you stalked me a little bit. Everyone thought I was gay anyway, despite my best efforts, I was drawn to you. I was scared of how much I wanted to be with you, it hurt...Panda's party, 'it's just the drugs right?' BOLLOCKS was it just the drugs, it was what we both wanted and it was amazing!_

_I ran away though, I couldn't deal with it...so I ran and I'm sorry. I didn't understand the feelings I was having for you and now I realise that they are the best things I have in my life. You are the best thing I have in my life. _

_So...promise me you are laughing not crying! We have had some amazing memories and some really difficult ones, but they make us...us. And I wouldn't change them for the world. This next bit is what I really wanted to say but didn't know how I was going to say it so if it sounds really weird then I'm sorry but I have never done anything like this before. _

_I love you Emily Fitch, more than garibaldis, more than everything...I love you more than the world and the universe combined. Whenever I am not with you, I am thinking about being with you and when I am with you? I am still thinking about being with you. I look into your eyes and I see the future and I don't get scared. You have broken me Emily, in a completely good way. You've stolen my heart and I don't think I want it back, you can keep it...fucking useless things anyway, some red head comes along and poof it's full up of butterflies and all sorts of happy go lucky shit! You mean absolutely everything to me and I would do anything to make sure you never get hurt again._

_We both know I have the creativity of your common garden snail but I tried something, just don't laugh too much..._

_You take my hand within your own_

_And I tightly close my eyes_

_For each moment you are with me_

_My heart is free and flies._

_You have captured my heart_

_And I have given you my soul_

_I hope you keep lifting me higher_

_As for once, I'm not afraid...to fall_

_Don't miss me too much and I will be seeing you..._

_Naoms_

_xXx_

**Sorry about the terrible poetry, it was part of a song I am working on but it seemed to fit nicely in here, this was going to be the last chapter but I decided that after everything in season 4 I owe you guys a happy ending...or at least a happy scene as an ending! So one more chapter to go! :D**

**Thank you all for reading, please review and let me know what you think! It really makes my day when I read them!**

**Love you all!**


	25. This Is It

**Enjoy...**

"For fuck sake Blondie, sulking really doesn't suit you, get your scrawny arse off of the sofa and just...fucking...do something!!" Mel was shouting at me, I didn't blame her; I had been led on the couch pretty much solidly ever since I returned from my mums. I didn't reply just groaned at her, I loved her so much for looking after me these past few weeks, after Emily left I spent a few more days at home just to try and get my head round it all before returning to university. It hadn't really worked but Mel had been there and had let me cry, she had banned Effy from coming round and kept popping out to see her, didn't want to rub her relationship in my face. I love her.

"Seriously, I am going to drag you into town soon...you manage to get up and go to lectures but you don't want to go out and get smashed? Poor logic babe..." I managed a brief smile and Mel seemed pleased with the result of her attack. She was right, I did go to my lectures, figured I would try and distract myself as much as possible with work and seeing as I had a lot to catch up on it was almost actually a success. It didn't take long before I was well ahead of the group; much to Jake's annoyance...my penultimate case study was well on the way.

I'd had a massive conversation with Prof Carter about the whole situation and even though he looked a bit strange and couldn't half drone on in the lectures he was an ok guy and seemed to understand what I was going through.

Emily and I have spoken every day since she left, we take it in turns to phone each other, it had been really difficult at first but now it was just like second nature and instead of crying, I find myself grinning like the Cheshire cat after we say goodnight. I still missed her like crazy; I missed waking up with her next to me more than anything and the way her smile instantly made everything seem ok. I loved her and being without her was obviously never going to be the same as being with her but I was going to try and be ok. Telling myself that it wouldn't be this way for long and that soon, hopefully very soon, Katie would have regained the strength she once had and Emily would be able to leave without feeling too guilty.

"You out with Ef tonight?" I decided it would be polite if I actually engaged my best friend in actual conversation, considering all that she had done for me.

"Nope, staying in...with you, got some stuff to talk about, besides I miss Emily too! I want to speak to her..." She smiled and nudged her bowl of cereal into my knee; we had pretty much been living off of cereal. I couldn't be bother to cook and Mel just couldn't cook, unless it involved eggs of some kind, which I thought was completely weird.

"Aww, thought you were staying in to keep me company..." I smiled and debated kicking her at the exact moment she raised a spoonful of Shreddies to her mouth but decided that was far too cruel so threw a pillow at her instead. _Much better._

"Hey, bitch...so what you doing for the big V day?" _Shit, Valentines day, as much as I hate it, Emily would probably want something._

"I have no idea, not been a big one for the whole romance side of things. Besides it's like a month away..." We laughed, which was refreshing, before Mel put her now empty bowl down on the table and looked at me with far too much sincerity in her eyes for my liking.

"You should go up there...see her and have awesome 'I missed you' sex!" She raised her eyebrows and I frowned sarcastically, I didn't have any more pillows I could throw at her so I sat up slightly and punched her playfully in the arm instead.

"If I went up there...I don't think I would be able to come back, as much as I love you! I would just hide somewhere so I could stay close to her." I shocked myself as I managed to suck all of the enjoyment out of the conversation and ended up turning it around to me pining after Emily...again.

"Maybe...I dunno, maybe...that wouldn't be such a bad thing?" I don't think I can remember the last time I had seen Mel's scheming look, she was planning something so god help me.

***

Valentine's day, another corporate sham to make us spend money on trivial gifts to give to the person we 'love' just to show them we care. It's worse than fucking Christmas, at least Christmas has some sort of underlying storyline (whether you believe it or not) and is not just designed to _make_ us tell someone that we love them even though it is something that we should tell them every second of every fucking day. _Rant rant rant..._

To top of the giant crap sandwich that was my day so far...I hated long journeys, even if it was in the comfort of mum's car after she insisted on coming with me to see Emily and meet this Jenna person I always used to go on about hating. We had left last night, and so far it had been one hell of a shit journey, it had started off ok but after hitting three lots of major road works we were dramatically behind schedule. It was four in the morning and we were still driving, taking it in turns after pulling over at a service station, the driving music had stopped and I was completely knackered but I needed to keep myself awake.

It had killed me ignoring Emily's phone call last night but I wanted showing up out of the blue to be a surprise. I had texted her though, telling her I had a massive headache and needed to sleep, ironically both of those facts were now true. I had been driving solidly for near on two hundred miles so I pulled into the next lot of services so we could swop over yet again, I didn't like waking my mum up, she was always grouchy, but it was my turn to sleep damn it!

I felt the motion of the car as it pulled away but nothing much else as before a few miles had passed the slow rocking of the car had sent me to sleep. I dreamt of Emily and how she was going to react to seeing me...and my mum.

***

The next thing I knew my mum was shaking me awake, we had reached the travel lodge that we were going to be staying in for the next few nights. I had a few hours to prepare myself for the Valentines day attack I had planned for Emily. I had everything, flowers, balloons, chocolates, vodka (champagne was far too expensive and not to mention disgusting!) and the token piece of jewellery. After unpacking, I jumped into the shower and got myself ready for Emily's big surprise. Mum had helped me pick out my jaw dropping outfit, black skinny jeans, yellow vest, white jacket, my white Doc Martins and a black and white scarf. I looked at myself in the mirror briefly just to make sure that I looked adequate for our impending reunion. I had already posted Emily a card; just in an attempt to throw her off the scent, I was positive she would never expect this from me in a million years, she knew how much I hated extravagant things and corporate excuses for public holidays.

"Oh love, you look amazing..." Mum smiled as I walked into the room, her eyes ran all over me and she nodded firmly in approval. I just smiled at her and noticed as tears started welling up in her eyes.

"Mum, I have spent ages on my make up...don't..." I warned her gently and she wiped her cheeks before getting up, walking over to me and pulling me into a hug.

"You are all grown up and in love..." We stayed that way for quite a while, completely silent, just my mum holding me.

I felt the nerves travel into my body as we got back into the car, the sat-nav yelled at us only a few times for going the wrong way and after just under half an hour the people carrier came into sight on a driveway to our left, quickly followed by the familiar scooter which made the biggest smile cross my face. Mum's slightly bashed up old car pulled up down the road, just making absolutely sure that Emily didn't see me before I wanted her to. Grabbing the balloons, the flowers and the rest of the multi-coloured apparel out of the car; I ran, well walked quite fast, towards Emily's scooter and arranged it all out as nicely as possible. When I was completely satisfied I left the little card that proclaimed 'I don't like this shit, but Happy Valentine's Day babe...Love N xXx' on the handle bar before returning back to the car and motioning for my mum to roll down the window.

"All set..." Mum smiled and handed me my bag and my phone from the seat next to her before kissing me gently on the cheek.

"Well, that's me off then...Be good and call me if you need anything. Oh and Naomi..." She rummaged around in the glove compartment and gave me a few purple notes, there had to be near on one hundred quid.

"Have a good time, the _whole _family maybe?" I looked at her completely dumb founded but I understood what she was getting at so I just nodded slightly before she wound her window down and drove off.

I took a deep breath to steady the nerves that were creeping up into my head, took out my phone and hid behind the nearest available hedge before dialling Emily's number. It rang a few times before she eventually answered.

"Hey you; thought you were avoiding me happy Valentine's Day babe." I loved how her voice sounded and just wanted to blurt out something like 'get your arse outside now!' But my brain was making damn sure that this went smoothly and exactly like I had planned it.

"Hey, yea you too, sorry I didn't get you anything, but you should have got a card through." I knew my voice held a little of the nerves I was trying desperately to escape but I was positive that Emily didn't notice so I let out a steadying sigh of relief.

"Hey um Ems, did I leave my zippo in the seat storage thingy on your scooter?" _Well done Naomi, subtle, way to just slip it into the conversation...twat! _I shook off my thoughts, Emily wouldn't notice, she would just go look, everything will fall into place.

"I dunno..." Great, I didn't really want to have to make it this obvious but it seems that the only route left is the direct one.

"Can you go have a quick look? It's my favourite..." I tried to sound worried, I think I sounded more annoyed but still, means to an end. All I needed Emily to do was just go outside and look at her scooter. She seemed to sigh slightly in frustration, which I ignored, before babbling on about her sister's sudden vow of celibacy. But at least I heard the fact that she was actually going down the stairs.

"...so you know, it's not going to last, but...what the fuck?" I heard the front door click open and Emily's question must have been directed towards the obvious differences on her scooter. Silence followed before I saw her arrive at the side of the road and tucked myself further into the hedge, I was far too close, if I spoke at full volume right now she would hear me. _Genius...fucking genius. _

"So how does it look? I sent Katie a letter and some money...did she do a good job?" I spoke in a hushed tone that was close to a whisper but not quite, hopefully she wouldn't think too much of it. I was watching her intently as she picked up the dozen red and white roses, then the chocolates and then reading the note before she returned her full attention to the fact that I was waiting on the other end of the phone.

"Babe, it's amazing, best surprise ever." She looked as happy as she sounded. It was taking an unbelievable amount of strength to stop myself from running over to her and kissing her perfectly rosy lips.

"Well there is one more thing...I hope, you just need to close your eyes." I noticed that she followed my directions precisely.

"Ok, so I'm going to hang up and call your sister to tell her that you are ready...don't move...ok?" She seemed to shuffle slightly before replying that everything was fine, we hung up, I watched as she put her phone into her pocket and stood with an unbelievable smile on her face. I hoped beyond hope that she hadn't guessed what was going on, I think I had played it perfectly so I took a few small steps towards her so I was in her line of sight and then closed the gap swiftly and as quietly as possible until we were no more than five meters away. Taking one solid breath before I let the secret out.

"Open your eyes..." She did and disbelief crashed throughout her perfect features, she froze and I just stood there smiling before I ran to be in her arms. She smelt better than I had imagined and she felt just as good as the last time I had remembered holding her. I held her hair out of her face as she looked at me and a small tear managed to crawl down her cheek. I kissed her perfectly lips, touching her for the first time in far too long, it was quickly deepened, every part of our souls trying to connect through a lashing of swirling tongues. She tasted better than I could ever have remembered.

"Emily...can you not leave the door open plea...oh, um...hello Naomi." Jenna arrived at the door, we didn't move from each other's arms, but we did save her the awkwardness of standing there while we swopped saliva.

"Hello Mrs Fitch, sorry, that's my fault, I wanted to surprise Emily." I attempted to smile up at her but it didn't quite work, so instead I just made sure that I wasn't frowning. She moved her focus from me, to her daughter and then unfortunately back to me. Looking at me as if to say, yes it is _all _your fault, but I promptly ignored her and returned my full attention to the now blushing red head that resided within my arms.

"Not to worry..." With that Jenna was gone, leaving me and Emily kissing madly in the road for a full ten minutes, as if making absolutely certain that we were in no way dreaming, before Emily pulled me inside the house.

It was surreal, nothing like the old house, so bland and almost lifeless. Emily had told me that at least she had her own room here but even so the likelihood of anything awesome happening was slim due to the homophobic demon that resided inside her mother. Her fingers were laced through my own, almost protectively, as she led me through into the kitchen where her mother was making coffee. I cleared my throat and Jenna immediately snapped her head around and looked, well she didn't look disgusted as usual, which I suppose is a good start.

"So how long are you staying for Naomi?" She stirred her coffee intently; it was creepy, a little bit like a witch making some sort of 'anti-gay' potion to ward off evil homos. I smiled at the image before Emily tugged at my arm reminding me that this was incredibly nice for Jenna and that I should answer her before anything bad happens.

"Um, a while...I missed my girlfriend." I smiled towards Emily, so I had decided to poke the bear and see if it bit my head off, I wanted to know how much I could get away with.

"How nice." The way she said it wasn't nice at all, just bland and almost lifeless. But at least she wasn't telling me to fuck off and leave her perfect new existence alone. It was a start; guess she finally saw that if she didn't stop pushing people away she would end up completely alone. Emily smiled at the whole situation, she seemed completely happy, I was wrestling with the thoughts of forgetting the fact that I had made lunch reservations and just dragging her up to her bed. _Now, Naomi...there is plenty of time for that._

"Mrs Fitch, I would love if you, Katie and James would join Emily and me for lunch..." Both Emily and her mother looked completely shocked by my sudden question. She seemed to be thinking it over, which was a good thing, but it took her a while to speak.

"That would be...good, thank you." Again no emotion, not even a smile, but she was talking, not beating me with a rolling pin or some other heavy kitchen orientated object.

A few hours passed, Lunch was awkward but manageable, we had a few drinks, my mum had arrived as planned and everything seemed to be going well. In fact Jenna and my mum were getting along annoyingly well; I had to remind myself that she wouldn't be here long enough for them to actually become friends. I was also slightly annoyed at the fact that I still hadn't managed to fulfil the main reason we came here but I guess there is no time like the present. Standing up I clinked my glass with a spoon I found residing on a neighbouring table, I had everyone's full attention. _Great._

"I have something I need to say before it bursts out of me..." I took Emily's hands in my own, it looked like I was going to propose but I didn't really care and maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

"I have been keeping a very large secret from you Emily...As I have already told you I am nearing the stage in my degree where I am taking my first year exams and having one on one tuition with my Professor." Emily nodded at me, confusion written across her face, she had no idea.

"Well, it hasn't just been tuition...I talked to him about everything that was going on and it turns out that he is a very good friend of the Professor here in Edinburgh." I paused again...I couldn't wait

"For fuck sake, enough beating around the bush...Emily, I'm moving here...they spoke to each other, looked over some of my work and Edinburgh University said they would be more than happy to take me on as an undergraduate student. Orientation is tomorrow, I've already moved into the halls." I let out the breath I couldn't remember holding and felt three completely confused faces and one very proud face look up towards Emily and I. My eyes filled with tears but Emily just kissed the worry and angst away, her lips were perfect.

"You, mean...you're...not leaving?" She was looking up at me in disbelief, I know it was all happening so fast but I didn't care, I was so positive that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Emily that I really would do anything to keep me from hurting her again. That included leaving her in Scotland to fend for herself.

"Well, I'm leaving but I will only be fifteen miles away...at all times, maybe even a whole lot closer." I raised my eyebrows and she pressed her soft lips against mine again. I hugged her tightly and pressed my head into the crook of her neck, she always smelt so damn good.

"I told you, I'm in this for the long haul...I will never leave you again." I whispered gently into her hair. I felt her smile against my shirt and pulled away so I could look into her deep chestnut eyes.

Perfection.

**So that's it...the happy ending I promised, it was always going to end this way to be fair...I was just teasing you all, cruel I know but I hope you forgive me! :D **

**Please review, I really need to know if the ending lived up to expectations! I will be writing a short author's note which will be up tomorrow! Once again thank you all for reading and living this story with me...it really does mean the world! :D**


	26. Author's Note!

**So...it is done, this story has pretty much been my life for the past month and a bit so I am feeling completely empty without it, over seventy thousand words...I didn't even know I knew that many words, yet here we are. I could have just continued with it...but I think it would have got repetitive and boring. To a certain extent I am glad it's finished, and on a high, because it lets me get on with trying new things!**

**Let's face it; New Foundations has been an emotional rollercoaster! There were highs, lows, fun times and some moments that made me want to whack my head against a wall for hafting to put them in there. I loved writing the final chapter, Naomi was almost too cute but I think it fitted quite nicely, and of course there was the MASSIVE coincidence that allowed her to stay in Scotland – LOL, but it was so worth it!**

**But enough about me, even though this is the Author's Note I wanted it to all be about you guys.**

**First things first... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING and thank you even more for taking the time to review!!**

**I would also like to thank every single one of you who reviewed and/or added this story to your favourites. It meant the world that people like your good selves would take the time to read something that I dreamt up after all the shit that happened in the second episode of this series. I just started writing and it ended up being something that gave me the upmost happiness to continue, right the way through until the end!**

**Well I guess that's it, so from me (FaithSky) thank you, keep reading, writing and goodnight!**

**Ooooh, almost forgot! Don't think I am going anywhere...I will be continuing my writing, doing a couple of one-shots before attempting a SEQUAL! :D**

**One last thing – KairiM, thank you for being there with me all the way through! :D It meant so much! You really have no idea! (And if you haven't already...check out her, KairiM's, stuff! It is well worth a read!)**


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